Patron idea poll winner: Ride or Die

This story is the winner of the first short story patron suggestion poll. The winning prompt was by [ZeroV60]:

A lonely, nerdy, and extremely horny scientist working at a secret lab in Area 51 hooks up with a cute androgynous shapeshifting alien subject. The alien is kind to her and sweet, saying cheesy lines they learned from watching Earth television. Even while fucking her silly with various kinds of tentacles, their elongated tongue, and constantly changing extraterrestrial dick.

Because I am a silly man who does not understand the concept of keeping it simple I grew the story far beyond that, giving myself plenty of grief along the way. I hope that you enjoy it!:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The light above the final security gate flashed green and Dr Grace Kelly (no relation to the film star) was let through.

She tried to calm herself as she stepped onto the teleporter platform that would lead her to the real Area 51. It was the best way to travel if one was able to ignore the one in ten million chance of irreversible explosive trans-dimensional genetic infection. She tried not to imagine herself turning into a ball of teeth covered arms, and failed miserably.

There was only so much one could do to calm their soft human brain. They were all little more than monkeys running around in clothes, slaves to their emotions.

A short violent molecular recombination later she found herself inside of the Mirror Cube. Her supervisor once warned her that it could detect even the faintest hint of subversive intent, but she did not believe him. She was fairly certain that it was just a fancy elevator with a built-in teleporter. Still, she tried to clear her mind all the same. Best not to tempt fate today of all days. Her head was full of most... Subversive thoughts.

Subject G23's body, pulsing red as their tentacles wrapped around her neck, making their way towards her hair, twining themselves in, pulling hard. Her mouth, open, ready for G23's lips, their tongue. The feeling of being filled and held tightly, as the alien pushed into her deeper and deeper. God, how wet they made her with barely a touch... She shivered thinking of what was to come later today. Her mouth filled with saliva, just thinking of the taste of their- Grace shook her head violently. Mind the god-damned cube! Stupid ass monkey brain! Fuck!

Grace cleared her mind of G23, of all the weapons and tricks she'd concealed in preparation for today. Of the treason she planned to commit. There! Mind clean. She opened her eyes and saw a small, somewhat attractive woman in her late thirties staring back at her. Long brown hair tied in a bun, thick white glasses... The nerd classic. Out of nerves, she tried makeup for the first time in twenty years. She thought it looked... Decent. When was the last time she did herself up?

It must have been for some party back at Harvard... Before she was scouted for the Shadow Harvard, where the hidden elites taught them the real physics. Before the Eternal Academy where the even more secret elites taught them how the world really worked... Or the Blood Archives where the actual, for real, true elites were taught the dream-science. Or the Decahedron where the lizard people- Fucking hell she was so tired of secret societies! Once you belonged to more than three of them nothing felt real anymore!

Grace was almost certain that she was at the top of her field, doing the real science and not the fake shit they wheeled out for tourists (like those losers at CERN), but who knew? Any day she could get a coded message from whatever was above her, explaining how everything she thought she knew was a lie... Again. It was all so tiresome. She walked on the surface of Mars, broke bread with the Great Reptile, explored the Dream Labyrinth of Xur and countless other amazing things... And she had nobody to talk to about it. There was a price to the pursuit of secret knowledge. It was so lonely at the top she could scream.

So she did.

"AAAAAAAaaaaaa!!!!" Grace yelled as loud as she could, her scream echoing back through the Mirror Cube. The woman in the mirror looked crazy, so she screamed at her some more. The woman screamed back. The more logical, lizard part of her brain recognised early signs of a possible mental breakdown brought on by stress, but the monkey wanted to scream some more.

The Mirror Cube rumbled and spat her out into her department, perhaps offended by all the noise. Inter Dimensional Studies was her kingdom. She was the sole employee working there since Frederika left for maternity leave and her supervisor was hunted down and killed by his doppelganger. That was an interesting week.

Grace activated the secret storage device she installed in her spine, and pulled out the compressed suitcase she snuck by the security. If only it was this easy to sneak things out... Grace sighed and pulled the pink suitcase towards the specimen section. She would miss this place... Painted concrete and sleek wood paneling. Every secret laboratory she'd ever been in seemed to be stuck in the sixties in their decor style and that suited her just fine.

A song she knew echoed through the halls of IDS, making her grin. It was the opening theme to 'I Love Lucy'! Grace loved these old shows and G23 knew it. She hummed along as she walked by all of the enclosures holding artefacts and creatures from other dimensions. Once she would kill (quite literally) to glimpse one for a fraction of a second. Now? they held no value to her. Not since G23 came into her life.

She felt her body respond to the mere thought. Nipples hardened, heartbeat elevated, pupils widened, vagina most definitely lubricated. She used her subdermally implanted chip to open the door to the high security enclosure and smiled widely.

"Honey I am home!" Grace yelled, throwing her arms wide.

The roiling mass of iridescent tentacles inside of the state of the art maglock cage giggled in response. G23 was here and all was right in the world. The alien began shifting and pulsing, each heave of the mass or muscles changing its shape, moulding it. Soon, her favourite person in the world emerged.

Today, they were tall and slender, almost human in shape, if one missed the lack of genitals or the ever shifting skin hue. It was all blues and greens, gently pulsing, rolling in waves along their slender limbs. Their thick pseudo-hair was long today, reaching past their shoulders, cutting a very nice figure. If it wasn't for the vast tangle of ever-shifting and morphing tentacles - some as thick as Grace's thigh - sprouting from their back they could almost pass for a human.

Their serene face was another thing betraying their origin. Thick soft lips hiding sharp blade like teeth, the lack of a nose and the sheer size of their pretty eyes made G look distinctly inhuman.

G23 was so beautiful that Grace could cry... If she hadn't sacrificed her ability to do so to the Dream Gods, in exchange for the ability to haunt her enemies in their dreams. Good times.

She had no idea where G23 was from, or how they got to earth. They were found by the US government in Antarctica, more than twenty years ago, standing over shredded remains of a polar bear. The alien, who was little more than a ball of tentacles at that point, made a mistake of following the soldiers back to their base without a fight... They were shortly captured and brought here for study. Never to be free again... It was an injustice she intended to correct and soon.

"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine," the alien spoke in their dulcet voice, as they pressed themselves against the reinforced glass of the cage.

"Really? Casablanca?" Grace laughed as she checked on all of the screens. Everything looked good. She put her pink suitcase by the console and turned to the enclosure.

It was too small, by far. A see through box maybe fifty feet across, was not nearly enough for G23. The ground was lined with fake grass and shrubs, the smooth egg-like shape of G's nest looked almost like a prop pressed into the far corner. Since she'd take over the department she'd tried to fill it with things to enrich their life but... There was only so much she could do without letting them out. And that would be a really, really bad idea. The nanosecond G was out of the enclosure it would be logged into a system she could not reach... Once G left the cage it would have to be forever. Grace smiled.

Soon.

"Having a good day G?"

"Every day is better with you in it!" They cooed. She did not know that one, but knew it must have been a quote from some movie. The alien could not communicate any other way. When pressed, G was capable of stitching together quotes to form original sentences, but it seemed to cause them great mental distress. Grace suspected that a hard wired limitation of their neurology, rather than a cultural issue. She'd stopped trying to actually study them months ago, so she did not know for sure.

G23 was more than a subject to her... She checked her makeup again, on one of the deactivated screens, feeling silly. G, of course, caught her doing it.

"You're the kind of girl a guy could get serious about..."

"Ahem... Do you like it? I tried something new..." Grace said, pointing at her face.

"I like you just as you are..."

Grace felt herself blush as she tried to place the quote. Oh, this little cheeseball! They were quoting Singing in the Rain at her!

"Ahem! Sooo we have a couple of hours before it's go time... And I will be honest, I am quite nervous."

"Come in! The water's warm..."

"See, that was exactly what I was thinking..." Grace laughed as she disengaged the powerful magnetic locks on airlock doors.

She stepped through the first set of doors feeling giddy. This was the best part of her day, any day. Being inside with G23. The lizard part of her brain warned her that this creature was a natural mimic. Everything it did, was in aim of getting out of this facility. Exploiting a lonely woman's desires was just how it was going to do it. She was being slow-walked to her execution, by a cold heartless creature that simply reflected her loneliness back at her. This was madness-

"What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down for you." G23 whispered to her, their beautiful face pressed against the glass. So close now. The inner doors opened and Grace walked into the humid enclosure.

"I want to feel you!" She laughed, looking up at the alien who towered over her.

G23 was on her in an instant. Their lips impossibly soft on hers, gently prodding. She moaned as she kissed them deeper. An almost human tongue pushed itself inside her mouth greedily, tasting of honey and distant places. She licked it all over, savouring it, eager for more. She did not have to wait long, as two more tongues slid into her mouth, filling her, caressing her own from all sides. G23 gentle hands touching the sides of her neck, exploring all over made her shiver.

She moaned into G23's mouth as they pushed in deeper, the three tongues flowing into one. She sucked on it, delighting in the change. She bobbed her head back and forth, as the kiss morphed into something more lurid. G23 grabbed her hair and pulled her head towards theirs, forcing more and more of their tongue into her throat. She groaned and relaxed onto the sensation, the fullness nearly making her gag.

Her hands pressed into the alien's flat chest, the pseudo-muscles taut under her fingers. Their skin felt like velvet, soft and slippery, making her fingers tingle from the contact. She pinched and prodded at their nipples, eliciting a groan, followed by G's fingers growing soft claws to rake gently across her scalp. She pinched harder in return.

All the while all that was happening, two dozen tentacles gently worked all the buttons and zippers of her lab-coat, allowing G23 access to her body. As their lips met again and again she groaned from the sensation of G' tentacles sliding up her legs and around her torso. She felt her arousal overwhelm her when they spiraled across her breasts and reached her hard nipples. Grace groaned and tried to press her aching pussy to the one of the tentacles, but the alien denied her with a laugh.

A whine escaped her throat, as she lost control of herself, struggling against G23's strength, in search of release, but the alien still denied her. Instead they began teasing her nipples mercilessly, pulling and twisting at them hard. Grace bucked hard, again and again, but the alien did not relent. It was sweet, endless torture! Between their soft lips, the massive tongue pushing in and out of her throat, their hands caressing her neck, the tentacles spiraling and twisting around her breasts and a thousand other sensations Grace lost her mind. She was suspended in an endless void of pleasure and it built and built, until it exploded. The orgasm rolled through her, starting in her nipples and radiating outwards. She screamed into G's tongue as it pumped in and out of her mouth, her whole body tense with joy.

After an eternity of it, she hung limp in G's hands, allowing herself to be cradled in their arms. Her eyes fluttered as they pulled nearly a foot of their tongue out of her.

She loved kissing G23.

"You... You are... An evil, evil alien..." She managed to rasp out. She'd never came from her nipples before. She knew it was possible but... God damn... Grace closed her eyes and savored the delightful numbness she felt. G's response was to laugh deeply. A perfect impression of an evil villian's laughter. Their chest vibrating pleasantly against her ear.

The gyroscope built into her inner ear told her that the alien was moving her eastward, straight to their nest. She rubbed her hands on G's muscles, marveling at their strength. The lizard brain whispered of how easy it would be for this creature to rip her to shreds... But Grace simply did not care at this moment. Orgasms would do that to a lady.

A soft rustle, and a shift of weight let Grace know they were there. She opened her eyes, meeting G23's soft gaze. The alien laid on their back inside of the nest, their tentacles spilling all around them in tumbles and twists. Grace laid comfortably on top of them, enjoying their warmth.

"Pleasant dreams?" G23 asked.

"Mmmhhm... " Grace pushed herself up on her forearms, noticing that she was almost naked, her bra and underwear all that's left of her clothes. G23 was a smooth operator...

She stretched and looked around the nest. A beautiful, oval structure made from G23's... Secretions, long before she was assigned to this department. It formed a hollowed out egg; most of the walls were made out of a see through amber like material, glistening in all colors of the visible spectrum. The only solid parts were the domed ceiling and floor. It was sturdier than it looked, but quite soft inside. Perfect for lounging and... Other activities.

On the other side of the nest, maybe ten feet away, stood an old television set with a VC-R player and a mountain of old tapes, mostly of old shows and movies. Grace tried to give G other forms of entertainment but they could not care less for games or books. Only movies... Well, and one more thing. Grace giggled. The alien really enjoyed playing with her.

"Darling..." G23 whispered behind her.

G leaned back against the nest wall, their hands behind their head, their face hungry. Their tentacles sprawled around and beneath them, forming a soft looking bed. Grace straddled their soft thighs, feeling small and plain in comparison to their beauty. The sight of their chest made Grace flush anew with desire. Two small breasts emerged slowly, their little hard nipples standing tall, inviting her. G's flexed their belly, moving in a sinuous motion, inviting her.

"Good... Now give me some sugar..." G23 said as they pushed their chest out, the breasts swelling, growing larger, but still modest. Grace's mouth watered.

The alien moaned, their voice deep, as Grace leaned over them and sucked on their left nipple. The taste was wonderful, completely inhuman. A ripple of crimson traveled outwards from the nipple, leaving traces of red on G23's skin, like flower petals in water.

She licked and sucked the nipple, enjoying as it grew and shrank in response to her. Large and suckable one moment, almost a miniature cock- then small and lickable next. G23's moans filled the enclosure, filling Grace with happiness. Their skin slowly pulsed with red and oranges, shifting with each suck and lick. G's breasts growing with each pulse, becoming full and heavy, perfect for kneading and caressing.

Grace played with G23's growing breasts, switching from one to the other lazily, while her hands explored lower. G's strong corded belly, and lower between their legs. She wondered what it would be this time? A nice thick cock greeted her hands. She moaned happily. Grace really wanted to feel something hard inside of her today, and G seemed to have a similar idea.

Her right hand squeezed the cock head, as her left gently stroked the base. The penis adjusted itself to fit into her hands perfectly; her fingers able to just about close around it. Their foreskin was impossibly soft, sliding over the cock head like silk. Her fingers quickly coated with precum; which leaked out freely.

"You make me crazy, girl..." G23 moaned, pushing their hips out, slowly thrusting into Grace's hands.

The alien's moans filled the nest as she licked, stroked and sucked lazily. She wanted to do this every day, for the rest of her life. She could tell the closeness of G's orgasm by the frantic motions of their tentacles sliding over her legs.

"Graaaace-" The Alien choked out, their whole body tensing.

Grace let go of the breast and lunged downwards, her lips locking onto the cock head which shifted, growing small enough to let her fit it into her mouth. Two hands pumping on the shaft, she licked and sucked the head, waiting eagerly, each twitch and moan adding to her desire. Then, G23 stiffened and screamed, and delightful nectar filled her mouth.

She tried her best to swallow it all, but there was only so much she could handle. The alien trashed and humped her mouth as more and more of G23's cum kept pumping into her mouth. She felt it splatter over her chest, and thighs, now tightly held by the tentacles.

Finally, G23 stilled, their tentacles released their hold on her, letting her know the orgasm was over. Grace stopped moving her hands, and enjoyed the sensation of the dick growing smaller and softer in her hands and mouth. Changing from a ten inch monster made for stroking to a cute little three inch, almost human shaped cock. She swirled her tongue over it one last time before releasing it from her mouth. Delicious.

She grinned and leaned back on her legs, trying to not think about how messy her makeup had to be right now. She let her hair out of the bun, and let it fall free over her shoulders. She gazed at her lover lounging before her, looking up with nothing but love in their eyes. She scooped some of G's cooling semen onto her finger and put it to her lips, sucking on it greedily. Oh what a mess she surely made...

"Beautifull..." G23 purred, making her blush even more.

"Thank you... But I think- I think you're the beautiful one between the two of us, " She said as she looked at them. The most beautiful creature in all of existence... Her lover. She smiled thinking, What are the odds of her being so lucky?

Well, the lizard brain supplied, if this was all a trap aimed to lure her into a false sense of security then the odds were irrelevant.

Impossible! I love the alien so that's not possible! Responded the monkey brain, their argument unassailable.

Grace scooted up and into G's lap and shook her head. Enough of that! Time to get some loving! She positioned herself over G's hips and felt at their cock, finding a small, maybe four inch long tongue-like appendage. She grinned, knowing the game ahead. She aimed it at her entrance, and lowered herself slowly. It entered her easily, licking and prodding all over, exploring every sensitive spot at the lip of her vagina.

"Hmm... You feel great G... Oh hell..."

"Care for a ride?" G murmured.

"Fuck yes!"

Grace ground her hips into G's, enjoying the sensation of the little tongue filling her. She was not really a size queen or anything. If the modest penis was all the alien could give her, she would still be a happy gal. But still... She grinned, thinking of what was to come...

"More..." She whispered.

G23 nodded and grabbed her hips with their human hands. Tentacles gently slithered over her feet and shins, anchoring her to the ground; to G23. Then, slowly, the penis grew. Inch by inch, it filled her. Grace ground her hips harder, enjoying the change. The little tongue was gone, slowly replaced by a nice hard cock.

"Yesss... Stop- stop for now. Haah..." She moaned, as the cock reached what felt like six inches.

Grace raised herself, letting the cock almost slide out of her, before letting go and impaling herself on it. G23's moans set the rhythm as she did it again and again, her hands pressed into the Alien's belly for support.

"More... Please... But slowly..." She whispered, feeling another orgasm build.

"As you wish," G23 whispered, with the voice of Wesley.

The cock spiraled into her, twisting itself into a thick delightful shape, as she bounced up and down, G23's eyes boring into hers all the while. The Alien body fully crimson now, their eyes deep and black. Grace could see such hunger there that it made her shiver. It was becoming difficult to move her hips, her desire robbing her of strength. A needy whimper escaped her mouth, making the alien grin.

"Do you want some help with that?"

"Y-yesss," was all she managed to say.

She relaxed as she felt the thick tentacles slide up her hips, climbing over her sides and breasts. Soon, she was encased in a dozen strong, thick cords of muscle, holding her up.

"Ready?" G23 asked with a hungry grin. Their black eyes and sharp teeth looked incredibly hot to Grace. Maybe there was something wrong with her after all.

"Yes... Give it to-" was all she managed to say before her moan took the rest. The alien cock swelled inside her as the cradle of tentacles pressed her down, hard. She screamed, the feeling of fullness overwhelming her. The sensation of her clit grinding into G's pelvis was almost too much. Then, the pressure lessened as G23 pulled her up, their cock gently twisting, driving her insane.

The alien pulled the cock out of her with deliberate slowness, before slamming her back down hard. Grace screamed again, unable to control herself. It felt so good, she almost came then, but G's cock shifted away from her most sensitive spots, denying her. Grace groaned as their hips met again. And again, and again, almost at the edge of orgasm.

Grace wanted to tell G that they could go harder, but she could not speak, the words having left her. The feeling of the thick alien cock inside of her was all she could think of, it twisting and spiraling through her, reaching and filling places she did not know she had before meeting G23.

It was too much! Grace loved the teasing, she really did, but this was pure delightful torture. Her mind was torn between wanting it to never end and screaming for release. How did G know exactly how much to push her, to reach this state? She felt all of her reason leaving her, just wanting more. More! MORE!

All the while, the alien observed Grace eagerly, even as their own pleasure teased moan after moan out of them. Grace opened her mouth, ready to beg for the orgasm, when G sat up and met her in a fiery kiss. Their tongue pushing past hers and plunging deep into her throat without warning. She groaned gutteraly as the rhythm of the cock drilling into her sped up, no longer teasing.

She was still held in the air, above G23, but it did not feel like it, with how easily the alien thrust into her from below. It felt more like being laid back on an impossibly soft bed, while G laid on top of her. She quickly lost all sense of gravity and weight, only the feeling of what the alien was doing to her remaining.

G23's strong arms raked over her back, as they held her in place. Their strong legs pumping up and down, thrusting their cock into her with no restraint, as their lips crushed into hers. Their large breasts, pressed into hers; their impossible softness combined with the cock's hardness made Grace's little bisexual heart soar. She laughed into G's tongue as it fucked her throat, not able to contain her joy anymore.

Her second orgasm hit her hard and fast, all the slow teasing having made it stronger than the first. She screamed as it hit her, wave after wave of hard ecstasy shaking her. Her nails raked over G23's back, as she enjoyed the taste of their tongue, the shape of their cock, all of them. Her lover.

G23 knew exactly what to do to her to keep her orgasm going, stretching it beyond what she thought possible. It was almost too much for her. By the end of it, she was nearly incoherent from the pleasure. The alien having teased out all of her reason out of her. When she felt G's cock pulse in a way she knew meant a coming orgasm she bucked her hips hard, her only thought was to give her lover more pleasure. Her mate wanted her! She bucked again and again, despite her tender pussy's warnings.

The alien held her tight as they came. Their human hands held her head and back, while the tentacles twined themselves all around her, encasing her in a warm cocoon. Their cock drove in deep into her as it filled her with their cum. Grace whimpered in surprise as another orgasm rocked her, brought on by the warm feeling spreading through her.

Grace and G23 shivered and moaned against each other, held tight in each other embraces for a long time after the alien's hips stopped moving. Their tongue slid out of her mouth, allowing her to breathe easier. She gasped for air in tandem to her lover, enjoying the musky smell of their sweat and the taste of their sweet saliva in her mouth. She could spend the rest of her life doing this, she knew...

She felt happy. The lizard brain was screaming something incredibly dull about the effect of sex hormones on the brain, but she did not listen. She giggled as she enjoyed their warmth...

***

After cleaning themselves up, they spent the remaining hours before it was time to go, lazing around, watching the television and enjoying each other. They've had sex twice more, but more gently. It was a long and lazy afternoon.

They were halfway through the seventh episode of 'I Love Lucy' of the day when Grace's spine beeped, warning her that it was time. Either she was going to set G23 free today, or they would both be killed by the security. Grace made her peace with that.

Her lizard brain made a last ditch valiant effort at stopping her, but it was no use. She was too well fucked to care at this point. If G23 was going to betray, then that was that. Monkey brain danced around in circles clapping to this decision.

Grace got up and set out to find her clothes. It was time.

***

"Alright, G you know the plan?" She asked one last time, just to be sure.

The alien saluted her, as they shrunk themselves down as much as they could. Before long, they were little more than two feet tall and incredibly cute. G23's ability to adjust their own mass and size was a thing to behold. A scientist in her was frankly pissed off at the blatant violation of several laws of physics, but this was hardly the time to litigate that.

Grace nodded as she disengaged all of the locks and the security on this level of the facility. Now there was no going back. She may no longer have a direct supervisor in this department, but they were people above her reviewing the security logs. Eventually somebody would notice this and she would have no explanation that would save her from... She didn't even know what would be the punishment to be honest... Being executed, resurrected and then executed again? There was no going back.

She strolled through the now unlocked maglock doors and ran up to the central console. A quick check confirmed no security alarms... Yet. Behind her, G23 in their lil alien form (very cute) waddled out of the enclosure for the first time in twenty years. They looked around curiously at the room they've observed through the thick glass for so long, before laughing; a deep laugh unfit for their small body, their sharp little teeth glinting under the harsh fluorescent lights.

Monkey brain still thought the little alien was cute. Lizard brain threw their hands up in the air. There is no helping this woman!

Grace grabbed her pink suitcase and opened it. G23 climbed inside without protests, looking at her with their cute eyes and blowing her a kiss.

"I'll see you on the other side, love," they said as they winked.

"I love you too G... I- I'll see you on the other side," she responded, before zipping up the suitcase.

Now, all that was left was trying to leave the most secure facility humanity had ever built, with one of their most precious prisoners. Easy.

The Mirror Cube was technically the easiest part of the escape. It would either kill them both on entering or it wouldn't. There was nothing Grace could do to alter the odds. She called the cube using the seven step blood summoning ritual she was taught on her first day in the department and waited.

She stepped into the elevator with her heart in her throat. She almost soiled herself when the suitcase's wheels caught on the lip of the elevator, jolting her, but nothing else happened. She thought her destination really hard and the cube shifted, moving them along. She waited for the hammer to fall, her thoughts on G23's soft lips...

She waited...

And waited...

God, fucking damn it she knew it! It was just a fancy elevator!

The woman in the mirror giggled like a maniac in time with the deep booming laughter coming from the little pink suitcase. Alright! Easy part over. Time to do some work. Dr Grace Kelly adjusted herself and assumed her most 'you don't even want to know' expression, as she felt the teleportation process start. A short jaunt later and she was standing on the platform in the middle of Blacksite 17, the wide eyes of the techs and security of the morning shift all focused on her pink suitcase.

Pink suitcase that was not on the manifest. Pink suitcase that would now have to be dealt with... Somehow.

There were a number of unwritten rules in the exciting world of secret societies, and high level mystical sciences. One such rule, hard learned with each death and mutilation, was: You really don't want to fuck around with a high clearance individual carrying a innocuous vintage looking item. If Grace rolled up to the checkpoint with a standard specimen carrying case, a time-crystal or a thermonuclear bomb? Sure she would be searched and scanned all according to protocol... But if you see a scientist, or god forbid, a manager carrying an antique rotary phone, an oil lamp, or a pink suitcase? Get out of the fucking way! You don't know what that shit could do! For all you know, you get banished to hell for ten thousand years upon touching it. You're not getting paid enough to deal with that!

Grace hoped dearly that the unwritten rule number one would be enough to carry her through the first checkpoint... And if it wasn't, she'd spent the last month seeding all of the night shift's dreams with images of pink suitcases spelling doom and destruction... Just to be safe.

The gate flashed green before she even approached it. The security guards pressed themselves into every possible nook to get as far away as possible from her cargo. It was all Grace could do not to grin when the morning shift supervisor waved her through without as much as looking her in the eye.

Monkey brain danced a little jig, while the lizard brain despaired at the breakdown of protocol.

Two defense lines down, five more to go, Grace thought to herself. The first security gate was the one she was least sure about, but hardly the last danger.

It all went surprisingly smoothly until the fucking dogs.

The Endless Maze of Eternal Torment she could navigate in her sleep. She set it up after all. Easy peasy!

The Ancient Watchman that could detect any lie, she simply told the truth. He was so impressed by her gall that he let her through. That's why you don't rely on mystical entities. They get bored too easily.

The second security checkpoint was empty of staff. The first checkpoint must have called ahead about the pink suitcase. Grace laughed as she walked through.

The zombies were... They were zombies. Grace didn't really know why they were even there. A child could deal with a standard zombie room. She shot any that shambled too close and mosied on along.

The outermost security layer was mostly there to look scary to any non high clearance personnel. Gone were the warm wood panels, replaced with cold concrete and brushed metal. A bunch of scary looking men in conventional combat gear, flanked by large german shepherds, surrounded by concrete barriers and scary signs promising violence upon all who enter. Grace smirked. One look at her nametag and she'd be let through.

Then she just needed to get out into the courtyard and she'd be out of the anti-teleportation field and they'd be free. Her government mandated paid two week vacation started officially tomorrow giving them a great head start. Eventually somebody would check in on subject G23 in her absence, but they'd be far far away by then.

The second she stepped up to the last checkpoint all of the dogs started barking. Grace frowned, and tried to push through, but the guard on duty stopped her. The dogs were laser focused on the suitcase... And now so were the men.

"What's in the suitcase ma'am?" The platonic ideal of a soldier manning the gate asked her.

Oh, fucking hell, these low clearance drones did not know to be afraid of strange artefacts! Grace struggled to come up with something better to do than pulling out her gun and blasting everybody... She never even considered the dogs. Fuck!

She ran through all the possible outcomes of this conversation, and found only dead ends. And frankly, she felt offended that this is how they got her. Fucking dogs! So, she pulled out her gun and started blasting.

The soldiers did not expect the small middle woman to pull out a heavy somniatic pistol, but they reacted quickly enough to their credit. Confidently forming neat little defensive lines all according to protocol. The Lizard brain was impressed.

Some of their confidence waned when they saw bullets being deflected by Grace's probability shield. When their comrades began falling deeply asleep after being struck by her shots, the morale began to wane considerably.
Grace pulled her suitcase tighter as she walked, trying to get it within the shield bubble. These people could not actually harm her, but she was losing her head start! God-fucking-damn it! All of her best plans and contingencies assumed at least a couple of hours head start!

A veritable battalion of soldiers spilled into the security checkpoint. Grace sighed. Looks like plan S it was. The lizard brain despaired at the inefficiency of it all. Grace jogged out through the large metal doors leading into the courtyard, trying to ignore the sounds of the sniper fire. Once she was certain she'd cleared the anti-teleportation shield she raised her hands to the sky and screamed like a madwoman:

"Too long have the Reptiles reigned inside of the Inverted Pyramid! It is time for the Wasp-Hornet alliance to reign! Long live the great Hive! Long live the Twin Queens!

She checked the area around her for any innocent bystanders and pressed the hidden switch she installed inside of her spine, activating the ultradense explosives she placed inside of the soles of her shoes. A nanosecond later she activated the teleportation device.

She caught the tail end of the explosion from a safe distance, about a mile away, hidden in a grove of trees. The government would eventually figure out her ruse after they analysed the DNA of the cloned decoy body she dropped behind, but she bought herself some time.

Hopefully, they would classify this event as political terrorism adding a whole bunch of red tape to the investigation. Grace couldn't care less about who would win the eternal war, but USA threw their lot in with the Lizards, so this would be quite the incident. She could deal with the Peace Enforcement squads coming after them. They were chumps.

The Reclaimers on the other hand... Eventually the government will realize that G23 is missing and then aim to take them back... Well, hopefully she and G23 would be far enough away by then.

Dr Grace Kelly breathed in the fresh air of the Alaskan wilderness in the spring. She never cared much for nature, but she found it soothing now. The sun washed the valley in warm orange light as it raised over the mountains, easing the pained numbness she felt. She did it. However this turned out, she was not going back to her old life. She searched for any shreds of regret inside of herself, and found none.

The soft noises behind her, let Grace know that G23 was out of the suitcase. Free of the facility... And they would not need her anymore. With their abilities, getting captured again was unlikely. They didn't need you anymore, the lizard brain whispered. They played you perfectly, you pathetic lonely worm! You've killed yourself!

The monkey brain felt nothing but certainty. She loved G23 and they loved her. Grace smiled and turned around, but the alien was gone.

In their place stood a stunning figure wearing a vintage looking suit and, of all things, a fedora. The stranger tipped their hat to her, and winked. Their eyes flashing bright green for a fraction of a second. Grace had no idea G23 could imitate a human so well... Or grow clothes. They've never done so before. It seems like they were holding back on her. A pang of anxiety shot through her.

It melted away into nothing when the stranger spoke in the voice she loved : "I’ll never leave your side, my dear Clyde; I’ll ride till I die."

Bonnie and Clyde? That was rather ominous... But Grace did not care. She was feeling rather Ride or Die herself right now.

"So does that make you my Bonnie?" Grace said, grinning.

G23 sauntered over, their chest swelling and filling up as they neared her. Their hair growing longer and changing color with each step, settling on deep blue.

"You’re good," they whispered, their face so close now.

"I ain’t good. I’m the best!" She replied, matching the quote.

"And modest!" G23 responded, their breath hot on Grace's lips.

She leaned in for the kiss in a way of responding. Her lover's lips honey sweet.

Alright, conceded the lizard brain, I'll give you that one you stupid ape...

Uk! Uk! Kiss good, responded the monkey brain.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This story was the hardest thing I ever had to write. Sometimes the words just flow, the other times they don't. The problems may have been related to the weird ass tone I went for.

Have any of you guys ever read "Library at mount Char"? It's one of my favourite books. It is full of characters casually referencing and doing insane bullshit, and a partial inspiration for the story you've just read. I recommend that book if you want to read wild fantasy/sci-fi.

I hope that the end result did not reflect the absolute ass pain this story was to write. :D