Infinite Shadow Clones Mastery! Chapter 1: The Sigh Heard 'Round the World.

Chapter 1: The Sigh Heard 'Round the World.


-0-

Wrote this for a friend of mine who's into comedy.

The chapters are short and the story is more for humor than anything.

Still, he wanted me to put it up for people to read.

There are only 6 chapters of it.

-0-

Ray was having a perfectly mediocre day. The kind of day where the highlight was deciding whether to eat the last bag of chips now or save it for later. He was sprawled on his couch, engrossed in the latest episode of Amor en Llamas (Love in Flames), a telenovela so dramatic it made hurricanes look like light drizzles. The protagonist, Rosalinda, had just discovered her long-lost twin brother was also her fiancé’s secret lover, and Ray was invested.

But then, as if the universe had a personal vendetta against him, a massive cloud—yes, a cloud—decided to drop by. Not just any cloud, mind you. A sentient, house-crushing cloud. One moment, Ray was yelling at Rosalinda to stop forgiving her fiancé for the 47th time, and the next, his house was pancaked.

When Ray opened his eyes, he wasn’t in his living room anymore. Instead, he was standing in what looked like a very well-lit waiting room. The walls were pearly white, and the faint sound of harp music played in the background. A man in a flowing robe sat behind a desk, scrolling through what appeared to be a celestial iPad.

“Uh… hello?” Ray said, squinting at the man.

The man looked up, his expression a mix of exasperation and guilt. “Ah, Ray. Welcome. I’m God.”

Ray blinked. “God? Like, the God?”

“Yes, the one and only. Listen, I owe you an apology. You see, my daughter just got married to my arch-nemesis, and I… well, I sighed a little too hard. Long story short, your house got crushed. My bad.”

Ray stared at him, his brain struggling to process this information. “You sighed me to death?!”

God winced. “Technically, yes. But hey, I’m making it up to you! I’m sending you to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. You know, Earth-199999? Superheroes, aliens, that whole thing.”

Ray’s jaw dropped. “The MCU? Are you kidding me? That place is a death trap! I don’t even have powers!”

God sighed again (Ray flinched) and waved his hand. A letter materialized in Ray’s hands. “Here. Read this. And stop complaining. You’re annoying.”

Before Ray could retort, he was yanked out of the waiting room and dropped into what looked like a slightly nicer version of his old apartment. The letter in his hand read:

*Dear Ray,

I’ve given you a random ability from one of the many fictional worlds you’ve watched. Enjoy.

P.S. Stop whining. It’s unbecoming.*

Ray groaned. “A random ability? What am I supposed to do with that?”

Suddenly, information flooded his mind. He could create Shadow Clones. From Naruto.

“Shadow Clones?!” Ray yelled at the ceiling. “What am I, a ninja? I just wanted to finish my telenovela!”

He flopped onto his new couch, grumbling. The TV was already set up, and Amor en Llamas was miraculously streaming. Ray decided to ignore his new “power” and focus on what really mattered: Rosalinda’s inevitable reconciliation with her fiancé.

But then, halfway through the episode, Ray realized he was thirsty. The fridge was all the way in the kitchen, and he was way too comfortable to move. That’s when it hit him.

“Wait a minute… Shadow Clones…”

He sat up, performed the hand seals he’d somehow memorized, and muttered, “Shadow Clone Technique!”

A puff of smoke later, and there stood a perfect copy of Ray. The clone looked at him, expressionless, and waited for instructions.

“Uh… get me a soda,” Ray said, half-expecting the clone to tell him to get it himself. But the clone just nodded and walked to the kitchen.

Ray watched in awe as the clone returned with a cold can of soda. “Huh. This might not be so bad.”

Over the next week, Ray discovered that God had made some… adjustments to the Shadow Clone Technique. For one, he could create as many clones as he wanted. No chakra limits, no pain when they dissolved, and best of all, the clones didn’t talk back. They were like silent, obedient robots.

Ray quickly put them to work. One clone cleaned the apartment, another did the laundry, and a third cooked dinner. Meanwhile, Ray binge-watched telenovelas, occasionally creating a clone to fetch snacks or adjust the thermostat.

By the end of the week, Ray had fully embraced his new life. Sure, he was in the MCU, a world teeming with villains and world-ending threats, but as long as he had his clones and his telenovelas, he was content.

“You know,” Ray said to no one in particular, “this might actually be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

And then, as if on cue, the TV cut to a breaking news alert: “Aliens invade New York City!”

Ray groaned. “Never mind. I take it back.”

He created another clone. “You. Go deal with that.”

The clone stared at him, unimpressed.

“Fine,” Ray muttered. “I’ll go myself. But if I die again, I’m giving God a very strongly worded letter.”

And with that, Ray—and his army of silent, soda-fetching clones—ventured into the chaos of the MCU.