Finding The Muse (Not a Fic)
Added 2024-10-31 21:21:23 +0000 UTCFinding The Muse.
-Author P.O.V-
I'm broken.
It's the reason I write. The cursive edges of my words on paper drafts are like a lasso, one meant to wind around the damaged pieces of myself and bring them back together.
Yet, nothing I write these days speaks to me anymore...
A sigh breaks out of as I lean back on my old desk chair. It creaks with strain from age and regular use. The cushion is torn in places and my butt is sore, but all in all, the seat is wonderful for my back.
In front of me, sitting on the desk that came with the chair, is my old computer. The thing hums steadily, filling my small living space with a droning noise and warmth. I used to hate it before but now the sound is comforting.
The screen stares me back almost impatiently. On it is a blank page. The cursor blinks on the edge.
I raise my hands to try and write something but the palms merely hover over the Keyboard. My fingers shake.
I don't have anything to write.
"Dammit..."
-0-
In bed, I toss and turn.
I can't sleep. Not when I know I've missed another upload schedule.
My readers, some of whom have become friends over the years, are no doubt waiting for the chapter. Scratch that, Chapters. I'm running multiple stories at the same time after all. But maybe that's the problem...
"No."
My fingers plug my ears as if to block out the truth. I'm stubborn this way.
I know I can do more with one story but, my mind is always jumpy. Creating scenarios, that evolve into one chapter tales that I never pick up again.
Or I stick it through with one book but then I drop it once the muse runs out. I can't go on like this.
I sit up, hands curling into fists resting on my lap. My jaw is clenched but I still bit out the words,
"This needs to change."
