Home from Florida

These photos were taken by Brandon Rudich. I edited them. Maddie Marissa styled the wig.

Got home from Florida. I feel like I can hardly move my body. I was starting to get sore by the end of the trip, and very tired. I found getting enough sleep harder as I mixed early shoots with late nights with friends... that's my own fault. I was excited to meet some new friends and get to hang out with some familiar friends.  I worked hard at keeping healthy this trip so I could keep going.  I was only disturbed by the moment I got my period for a weekend and lost so much strength, nutrients, and wakefulness for a few days. Luckily, I bounced back easily. I was so relieved and happy to feel capable again.  Still, now that I'm crashing again and looking at photos for the past month, I need to get fit somehow.  I don't know how I'd even add that to my life along with everything else, but I want it.  I think I'd feel more able and last longer.  

Returning home after tour is one of the most stressful parts.  I'm usually a mess, covered in scratches, bruises, and bumps from bug bites and make up clogged pores. I don't want to look at a computer screen again, but have a pile of emails and messages I've been slow to answer while on tour.   Worse, I've come home to a house that needs to be scrubbed top to bottom because I haven't been home to clean it in a while.  At least there was some food in the refrigerator.  That doesn't always happen.  I half unpacked my car, chowed down on a tiny quesadilla, and covered myself in a clay to help reduce the itching from the sand gnats, mosquitoes, and red ants (Florida loves the way I taste). It was nice crawling into bed even though I couldn't find another blanket.  My cats snuggled up, and shed everywhere because they hadn't been brushed in a while.  

It's such an adventure.  I haven't felt this way since I use to repel off waterfalls and skydive.  The journey is new and full of possibilities, the more I get better at rolling with the punches, the more rewarded I am.  Every tour feels like climbing up a mountain. There is no reaching peaks without a lot of work and bumps with bruises.  I want more than anything to be better at this though, more put together.  I'm about to tour for 5 months straight. It isn't a mountain, but a hike over the Appalachians.  I have a month and a half to recover and build some major self discipline.