Prequel comic panel test (spoilers??)
Added 2025-07-28 21:22:51 +0000 UTCThis is from pretty late in the story and wasn’t really meant to be shared early on, but I’d love any feedback on whether it makes sense.
Comments
I wanted to say earlier that this is helpful! There was supposed to be another page before the first one indicating the present, but it wasn’t finished. Wanted the dialogue to sound like he was happy not for Eleodora learning to talk, but that there’s finally someone below him that looked up to him with respect. But I see your point!
Al
2025-08-04 23:01:04 +0000 UTCI’m late- was thinking to make it act as a transition so it would take less space, but that’s a fair point
Al
2025-08-04 22:53:31 +0000 UTCTo me it makes a lot of sense. It’s a flashback or realization, though I read it twice to make sure it worked. I think the only thing you could maybe add is a scene of current Eleodora watching her past self (so they’re all in the same scene?) she’s obviously set away from everything else, but when people do that, I can easily tell it’s a memory. Maybe a personal preference of mine. I also think maybe you could (slightly) change the dialogue when Lumino is holding her? So the whole ‘father’ thing comes into play (i.e. “Your father is finally getting the recognition he deserves, don’t you think? Revered like Plumo and all the others who were born to rule.” Maybe split up into two different text bubbles, but you get what I mean)
fleethescene
2025-07-30 13:37:51 +0000 UTCI like the contrast in the flashback to her being left in the old world. I think the first two frames are too thin, its hard to tell whats going on in the dark one. I think its a closeup of her or luminos eye but I think you can get a similar claustrophobic feel if that part of the layout was a little different
Candy
2025-07-29 10:18:27 +0000 UTC
