Harry Styles Releases Line of 'Noncommittal' Pronoun Pins, For People Who Don't Like To Label Themselves
Added 2022-05-05 16:18:59 +0000 UTCThis is probably meaner that it needed to be, but whatever. Do people still say "kiting"? Do people know what that is?
The first pin was originally going to say "I'm not a gender. I'm ME." as a reference to the best loiter squad sketch, but that would actually seem to imply that the wearer is non-binary, which is, unfortunately, a label.
This is a funny premise, but honestly, I don't really have any investment in the Harry Styles gender controversy, to the extent that there even really is one. But he dresses like a goober, so I had to put him in the scope. Sorry, bud. Still, there is something funny about him doing like a gender-based flip of hot-sauce-in-my-bag-swag tier pandering. Catch him wearing a toe ring with the sapiosexual colors at the next big jamboree, followed up with the customary "Actually, I'm more of a sapiosexual ALLY" post-interview, or debuting a new pride flag specifically made for dudes who like women with short hair. Or maybe don't? I'm sure the version of him I invented in my head is much worse than the real thing. Still, in my head he strikes me as the kind of guy who postures a queer guy, and then spends his free time doing Logan Paul type stuff and getting unfathomable amounts of pussy. How I'd hate to be that girl, who goes home with Mr. Sensitive Q. Gayish, pop-star extraordinaire, and then watches him deepthroat the half-full blue powerade he left on his nightstand after 12 minutes of deeply unpassionate rough and groany sex.
Or maybe he is like a chill bi dude, and I'm just being kind homophobic. Eh! Let's hope the public's collective dislike of celebrity let's me squeak by on this one.
