A Soldier's Life - 3 - Beaten but not Broken

On my day off, I spent the morning swimming in the lake in the hills that supplied water to the aqueduct and the showers. We ran past this lake during one of our longer runs. One of my instructors confirmed I wouldn’t be killed for swimming there. There was a watchtower on the lake, and the two bored guards told me to stay within sight, and I would be fine. The last thing I wanted was to be executed for trying to escape.

I cracked my eye open when I heard someone approaching. Through the sun’s glare, I saw one of the mages walk down to the bank with a fishing pole. Looking up, I recognized it was Damian. He had healed me many times, usually charged my translation amulet, and helped me with the Telhian language. He smiled and started to fish. I took the opportunity to ask him questions about the magic of this world.

“Damian, what is the difference between a spell form and actual magic?” I asked while he cast over and over, something akin to fly fishing.

He was very patient with me as he explained. “In order to cast a spell, a mage has to channel aether into a spell construct, also called a spell form. Constructs come in three forms. They can be a physical device with an embedded spell form like the amulet you are wearing, or they can be imprinted permanently onto a person’s aether core, although each affinity on a person’s core can only accept one such inscription. But what really defines a true mage is the last method. Being able to create a spell form in the air, shaping the aether into a usable construct. Once the spell form is created in either of the three methods, you need only channel aether into it to generate the spell’s effect.” He put down his pole, seeing I was slightly confused. “Give me your translation amulet, Eryk.”

I removed the device and handed it to him his open hand. He proceeded to disassemble the device, showing six stacked discs inside. Each disc was comprised of complex runes. He assembled the device, orienting the discs on a tab, charged it, and handed it back to me. “You could see how difficult it would be to write out all six sets of runes, maintain their forms, and then channel aether to cast the comprehension spell.”

“Yes. I could maybe write one from memory if I studied it for a while, but all six?” I shook my head with a new appreciation of mages.

“There are some simpler spells with as few as two layers, but it is not just writing them with aether in the air. You need to do it quickly enough that they don't dissipate and keep them all properly oriented. Even if someone has a strong affinity, only about one in a thousand of those people can control their aether and genuinely cast spells. Mages are highly valued worldwide,” he sighed. “I am not a true mage. All my spells are imprinted spell forms on my core.”

“Can anyone add spell forms onto their core to cast spells?” I inquired hopefully.

“Yes and no. It is not too difficult. Once one can feel and manipulate aether and has a strong enough affinity with one of the magical aspects, they can either learn it by will or imprint it by studying a visual representation of the spell form. Having the right mindset will also help when imprinting a spell form. Generally, you need at least ten in the affinity to imprint a spell form successfully. With less than ten, it is extremely uncommon to be able to imprint one.” He picked up his pole and continued to fish.

After a while, I asked, “So people generally don’t have affinities over 10?”

He looked over at me curiously. “Usually everyone is tested when they are fifteen, or at the latest, sixteen. Very few have the ability to imprint a spell form. Do they not do that where you are from?”

I remained calm and responded. “No, it is reserved just for the nobility.”

He nodded in understanding. “Ah, a waste. You never know where the next great mage might come from. But everyone always has some affinity for at least one of the magics. It is usually small; between five and six is normal. Secondary affinities are usually half of the primary, but some don’t even have a second.”

He paused and thought. “If you have never been tested, maybe your primary affinity is strong enough to create a spell form on your core. If you want, I can try to get an attunement stone or an assessment tablet when it comes by. They are valuable artifacts and usually only found in large cities.”

“I would appreciate that, Damian,” I replied with a hopeful smile. With there being magic in this world, I hoped to have some. I could use some luck after all my misfortune.

He nodded and cast again. “I am actually quite well-versed in the process. I cannot create spell forms in the air, but have seven different spell forms inscribed on my core.” He held up his finger to demonstrate, and a steady flame appeared on it. “This is my fire affinity spell form. I only have eight affinity with fire, so this was all I could manifest. Still, it is useful in lighting fires.” He smiled triumphantly.

His smile fell. “Your affinities were space and time?” I nodded. “Do not get your hopes up. They are rare magics, which usually means a lower strength in the attribute.”

“How strong is your healing affinity?” I asked.

He smiled at my curiosity. “Generally, it is impolite to ask a person their affinity strength, but my healing affinity is 54. It is my strongest affinity. My spell form can heal another person’s flesh, organs, and bones—as good as any true mage.” Damian was one of the best healers in the camp, and I had been administered to by him many times.

I asked hopefully, “Can you teach me some basic aether shaping exercises? I have a potential of eight in shaping and would like to improve. Maybe I could cast spells one day.”

Damian frowned. “I thought your shaping was something like that. In order to create a spell form and cast spells like a true mage, it is considered a requirement to have a minimum attribute score of forty in aether shaping. My own score is twenty-seven after years of practice, and my potential is only slightly higher. I can manipulate aether, but I do not have the capacity to write out runes and hold the pattern.”

Seeing my downcast expression, he tried to cheer me up. “You might still be able to create a spell form, Eryk. I will see about borrowing a tablet if it passes through. And I will also teach you the two basic exercises for aether shaping. Practice will help raise the attribute, but you will never be a true mage.”

We spent the next two hours as teacher and student. The two exercises were focused on visualization and meditation. Once you could feel the aether, you could manipulate it with your mind and within your body. Aether shaping was like a muscle that needed to be strengthened. Unfortunately, that strength was limited by a person’s potential. It was late in the day when we finished, and I thanked Damian and headed back for dinner since I had missed lunch while swimming. I planned to double my calorie intake.

I kept my routine over the next three weeks. Eventually, I could manifest the feeling of my aether in my core with the exercises Damian had imparted. It was challenging and mentally taxing, and my control was crude, like kneading a dough ball in my core. My mental exhaustion did not help during the morning fitness training the following day, so I needed to temper my magical aspirations or risk being sent to the army.

The next wave of testing was upon us, and I was very curious to see my results since I hadn’t been able to see them at the last assessment.

Physical

Strength(+9/+0)40/79
Power(+9/+0)38/82
Quickness(+5/+0)23/49
Dexterity(+3/+0)20/55
Endurance(+9/+0)50/87
Constitution(+6/+0)28/65
Coordination(+14/+0)31/61

Mental

Intellect(+1/+0)26/54
Reasoning(+3/+0)38/59
Perception(+4/+0)49/60
Insight(+7/+0)26/49
Resilience(+3/+0)43/71
Empathy(+0/+0)9/21
Fortitude(+8/+0)38/88

Magical

Aether Pool(+2/+0)9/21
Channeling(+2/+0)5/55
Aether Shaping(+3/+0)4/8
Aether Tolerance(+1/+0)20/50
Aether Resistance(+0/+0)3/19

Prime Aether AffinitySpace
Minor Aether AffinityTime

The tester raised his eyebrows while writing down my new attributes in the log. I again sneaked a peek at my magic stats and saw significant improvements. My next goal was to charge my amulet myself. I could now communicate in the common tongue without the amulet, but my vocabulary was still limited after nine weeks.

It seemed the language was derived from Latin, but I wasn't a linguist. I discovered the amulet two dozen gold, even though it was extremely old. At least that was what an instructor threatened to add to my debt when the strap came off during practice. Either way, it wouldn't be coming with me when I graduated, so I needed a good grasp of the language before then. Six more soldiers were cut after Silas's tablet readings, bringing our total to 68.

The competitions did not go as well as I had hoped. I finished 23rd in sword ranking, 30th in sword and shield, 25th in dagger, and 7th in hand-to-hand. We were also tested on spearmanship for the first time, and I finished 3rd.

All the practice with the staff and Helena had greatly helped. She finished first and basked in the praise of the instructors. Helena was the only woman remaining in the barracks; the other woman had been cut during tablet testing, and I never learned her name.

Helena was constantly harassed, but she was not in danger of getting raped because if she was, the man would have been executed the next day. I think having a woman in our barracks was actually a way of testing us. At least I noted at least one woman in all six of the other barracks, though we didn't talk to anyone outside ours.

I would have helped her, but she clearly was confident in taking care of herself. Some men had taken to sharing in each other’s company at night, unable to go without. I quickly turned my thoughts to myself, as that was not my preference, and I imagined that maybe after I graduated, I could find some intimacy with a woman. Until then, the intensity of the training would keep me distracted.

For finishing 3rd in the spear competition, I was awarded my first essence. The awards were announced after three more men were dismissed, bringing our number to 65. I was indecisive as I was called to choose my essence. When I arrived in the office of Centurion Silas, he asked, “Which physical attribute do you seek? We do not have any quickness essences available.”

I thought about my shortcomings in combat. My lower speed and agility were what cost me the most in practice. Since I couldn’t choose quickness, it was down to dexterity or coordination. My lagging stat was dexterity, so I decided to focus on that to improve accuracy with my strikes.

“Dexterity,” I responded after thinking. Centurion Silas thought my indecision was amusing and handed me the small, faintly glowing yellow pearl—maybe closer to a marble’s size.

Seeing my confusion on what to do with it, the Centurion said, “Just swallow it; savor it if you want. The first time is always the best.” He waved me out, and I passed the next Helena going in for her reward.

Outside, I examined the sphere for a long time. I imagined the kind of power contained within and the potential stored in the small package. If I wanted to remain, I needed this reward to make a difference in my combat skills.

I swallowed, concentrating intently as it dissolved and entered my stomach. I focused on the electric shocks in my veins and nerves that caused my muscles to twitch for a few minutes and my fingertips to go numb. When it ended, I did not feel any different. I did not know if I should have expected more, but I definitely did not transform into a nimble warrior.

We had a day off, and I hoped to meet Damian again at the lakeshore, but he never came to fish. I spent the next three weeks backing off my magic training and getting more rest to focus on my weapon skills. I could not afford to slide down in the rankings and get cut. With her first place in the spear ranking, Helena was getting more attention from the instructors, and we trained less frequently in the evening.

The threat of being sent to the regular army kept me motivated. After spending 12 weeks at the camp, I confidently approached the tablet testing for the first time. I knew I had made progress compared to some of the others and was excited about the competitions afterward. I deliberately stayed at the back of the line so I could watch my scores being marked down without anyone impatient behind me.

Physical

Strength(+2/+0)42/79
Power(+1/+0)39/82
Quickness(+1/+0)24/49
Dexterity(+4/+1)24/56
Endurance(+1/+0)51/87
Constitution(+2/+0)30/65
Coordination(+3/+0)34/61

Mental

Intellect(+0/+0)26/54
Reasoning(+0/+0)38/59
Perception(+0/+0)49/60
Insight(+1/+0)27/49
Resilience(+0/+0)43/71
Empathy(+0/+0)9/21
Fortitude(+2/+0)40/89

Magical

Aether Pool(+1/+0)9/22
Channeling(+2/+0)7/55
Aether Shaping(+0/+0)4/8
Aether Tolerance(+0/+0)20/50
Aether Resistance(+0/+0)3/19

Prime Aether AffinitySpace
Minor Aether AffinityTime

I was happy to see my dexterity improve by 4 points, and my dexterity potential even increased by one point. The tester recording my data paused when he got to my dexterity. He looked at my past reading and today’s reading a few times before continuing to copy my stats to my records, just shrugging.

My physical attributes had improved considerably, so I eagerly anticipated the ranking competition in the afternoon. I wasn't surprised that my magic had barely improved. These days, I just mess around with mana while taking a dump, no longer holding onto hopes of becoming a mage.

Additionally, the nightly sessions left me fatigued the next day, which affected my training. Today, I didn’t pay attention to people being pulled out of line after our attributes were tallied. I noticed only 58 beds in the barracks were filled when we returned to prepare for the sword ranking part of the competition. With our numbers reduced, the testing was only scheduled for two days this time.

I finished 15th with the sword, 19th with sword and shield, 22nd with the dagger, and 6th in hand-to-hand. I think the instructors chose hand-to-hand so we could beat on each other and they could watch. I broke two jaws and got my shoulder dislocated by the eventual winner.

I was certain my weapons improvement was due to my dexterity and accuracy increasing. Having trained with the same people for so long, I caught them off guard. We were also ranked with polearms for the first time, and I finished 11th since it had some similarity with a spear.

After seeing a quantitative jump from just the small essence, I wished I had earned another, but alas, I did not. If we had competed with the spear, I would have had a chance, but there were just too many men ahead of me in the ranking of the other weapons. Only the bottom two soldiers were cut after this competition, leaving 56 of us. Nearly half had now been sent to the regular army.

Helena was still with us, but she rarely had time for me anymore. She did not like to talk, but I think she enjoyed my company and hearing my voice. And despite being near the bottom of most rankings, she gave as good as she got.

I talked to her about her prospects, and she wasn't worried. “Female legionnaires are rarer than horns on a horse. If I made it this far, I’ll probably make it and be assigned to a special duty guarding a minor First Citizen woman or daughter of one to ensure they stay pure.” It was more words than she had spoken in a week, and that was all I managed to get out of her.

We had another off day, and I ran into Damian fishing. I had pressing questions I hoped he could answer. “Damian, do you know how we are eliminated based on our results?”

He looked thoughtful as he cast his bait. “The Centurion decides based on the tablet testing. Sometimes it is the lowest summed physical attributes, but not always. He talks with the trainers and removes men he feels will not be good legionnaires. If you are not working hard, then you are at risk,” he advised.

“How am I performing?” I asked hesitantly.

Damian thought for a moment. “You work hard, but of the men, you are 25th or 26th in the summed physical stat pool rankings. At least three weeks ago, I think that was where you ranked on the board in his office.”

My heart thudded. If only 30 men graduated, I was close to the bottom of the hierarchy in terms of physical performance. Damian added, “The Centurion leans heavily on the weapons testing, Eryk. If you are in the top twenty for sword and shield, you will be safe from the tablet cuts in the following tablet testing. The men sent to garrison the larger cities and patrol the streets fight primarily with the sword and shield, so I think that is why he stresses it.” That alleviated some of my concerns, as I had decent skill with a sword now and had just finished 19th in the ranking.

Damian added, “The instructor and Centurion were actually discussing you the other day, Eryk. You’ve made a significant jump in your weapons skill since the last testing.” I nodded, realizing that much of that progress was due to the essence I consumed. It had given me better control of my blade. I could see why essences were so valuable.

Damian returned to his fishing, thinking I was done asking questions. He caught two decent-sized fish while I relaxed in the cool air under the shade of a tree. As the wind blew across my bare skin, I came up with some additional questions. I rarely had this chance, and my fellow soldiers were mostly ignorant. They were also assholes, for the most part. It was not like a normal army where camaraderie was the goal. This legion training seemed to be about proving yourself and surpassing your fellow soldiers.

I asked Damian, “What are typical gains between readings for people?”

He looked contemplative and said, “For unfit men like yourself, between 10 and 14 is normal after the first three weeks, then it halves the following  testing periods.” I considered I was doing well enough then. I might have even improved faster than most of the others. I had probably improved by 13 or 14 points in this last period alone.

Damian caught a third fish and started packing up. He paused, staring at me before speaking. “I heard they plan to send your cohort on a little adventure. There have been some red goblin attacks at a village a hundred miles from here, and the Centurion decided you all could use the change of scenery. You are going out on a little training patrol, but act surprised when it is announced.” With that, he smiled, turned, and went to cook his fish.


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