Soldier's Life Book 1 Blurb
Added 2024-05-12 20:46:36 +0000 UTCI am working at World Sphere at the moment, so don't worry. Inucubus will follow.
So, a lot of people have said my Amazon blurb is not great for book 1:
Follow an unfortunate soul who has been thrown into a fantasy world with nothing. He is quickly railroaded into joining the Legion and has to develop under harsh conditions while slowly discovering his potential power. This story has light LitRPG elements with a stat and magic advancement system. The MC is not overpowered and experiences the pain of growth as he tries to find a place in the strange new world while staying alive. Neither are coming easy to him as his Legion Company is constantly in harm's way.
I can't really disagree. So this is your chance to give input. Post a blurb below for Book 1. Will leave this post open till 5/20/24 and then select the best and give the author credit when I update Amazon. It should be no more than two paragraphs with no major spoilers and get people excited. I was going to have an AI generate something, but readers are smarter. My other option is to cut and paste some of the reviews on Amazon. Thank everyone in advance who participates.
THIS IS WHAT I DECIDED ON FROM SUBMISSIONS:
Embark on a gripping journey through a mysterious fantasy realm where one man's resilience is tested to its limits. He is cast into this unforgiving world with nothing to his name. Our protagonist is swiftly swept into the ranks of the Legion, where survival is a daily struggle. Amidst the chaos of battle and the constant threat of danger, he must hone his skills and unlock his latent potential, navigating a landscape fraught with peril and uncertainty.
With each trial and tribulation, he discovers new depths to his abilities, grappling with a burgeoning magic system and the harsh realities of his surroundings. This gripping slice-of-life narrative blends elements of LitRPG with a captivating tale of growth and survival as our hero fights to find his place in a world where nothing comes easy, and every victory is hard-earned. Will he rise to the challenge and survive amidst the chaos, or will he succumb to the perils that lurk at every turn?
Comments
I think the essence of it should convey that he portals through time and space to find himself wearing nothing but his potential only to be conscripted into Roman Legion. Calling it the Legion without the reference is too vague — the connection to Ancient Rome is a big part of the draw and it’s not like it’s a spoiler
Paul Rauner
2024-05-15 01:53:31 +0000 UTCAn unfortunate soul finds himself ripped from the mundane and thrust into a brutal fantasy realm. Forced to join the infamous Legion or face deadly consequences, mere survival becomes an uphill battle. He must adapt to harsh conditions and uncover his hidden potential through a unique stat and magic system. With each hard-won victory, he inches closer to unlocking the truth behind his arrival and rewriting his destiny. Brimming with heart-pounding action, innovative LitRPG elements, and a captivating magic system, this gritty fantasy adventure follows an ordinary man's harrowing journey to rise above his humble beginnings. Can he unleash the power simmering beneath the surface, or will the brutal trials of the Legion break him?
Domega
2024-05-14 13:00:36 +0000 UTCits good. i think 'slice-of-life narrative' needs to be in there somewhere so readers will understand this is not a fast paced development
Erick Thiemke
2024-05-14 01:39:26 +0000 UTCLose the first sentence entirely. This is NOT a harry potter novel. There is nothing enthralling about a solider being beaten into a better man/mage.
Silver Beard
2024-05-14 01:10:58 +0000 UTCI like it but break it up... not a one paragraph description. Pretty hard on a phone but a on a PC Shift+return [enter] Will let you separate your narrative. :)
Silver Beard
2024-05-13 23:43:05 +0000 UTCThe pdf of entire book should be top post
Erick Thiemke
2024-05-13 17:44:46 +0000 UTCBook two collection
Erick Thiemke
2024-05-13 17:42:55 +0000 UTC+1, just came here from reading the first book and trying to figure out where to start
HappyTrails
2024-05-13 17:42:01 +0000 UTCI would say don't say what he's not (overpowered). Say what he is/does.
Nicholas Hansen
2024-05-13 12:50:04 +0000 UTCOnly the chosen few will pass to become Legion. Dirt, sweat, and blood, men driven by instincts for survival with comrades at their side. Follow Eryk as he navigates through political command structures, Mage warfare and dungeons. Legion is life, escape is death. Avoid the gaze of the Emperor. Grow and prosper. Will Eryk survive through the treacherous path ahead?
Joel
2024-05-13 01:02:51 +0000 UTCOnly the chosen few will pass to become Legion. Dirt, sweat, blood, is driven by instincts for survival with comrades at your side. Battle through command structures and Mage warfare. This is Legion.
Joel
2024-05-13 00:51:36 +0000 UTCRailroaded feels like a spoiler. Maybe something like "Circumstances led him to join the Legion"
Fozzy
2024-05-13 00:03:23 +0000 UTCEmbark on an enthralling journey through a mysterious fantasy realm where one man's resilience is tested to its limits. Cast into this unforgiving world with nothing to his name, our protagonist is swiftly swept into the ranks of the Legion, where survival is a daily struggle. Amidst the chaos of battle and the constant threat of danger, he must hone his skills and unlock his latent potential, navigating a landscape fraught with peril and uncertainty. With each trial and tribulation, he discovers new depths to his abilities, grappling with a burgeoning magic system and the harsh realities of his surroundings. This gripping narrative blends elements of LitRPG with a captivating tale of growth and survival, as our hero fights to find his place in a world where nothing comes easy, and every victory is hard-earned. Will he rise to the challenge and forge his destiny amidst the chaos, or will he succumb to the perils that lurk at every turn?
Domega
2024-05-12 23:10:01 +0000 UTCWhere did book 1 cut off?
BubblyGhost
2024-05-12 22:42:56 +0000 UTCThis is good. Hooks people in.
Alex Galaitsis
2024-05-12 22:20:44 +0000 UTCDuring white out conditions while traveling, Eryk is forced to seek shelter over night. When Eryk awakes, he finds himself transported to another world and unjustly conscripted into a roman legion. A legion who had traveled to this new world millennia ago and carved out thier own empire. Can he gain his own foothold in this new world, where magic is real and monsters roam? This story has light LitRPG elements with a stat and magic advancement system.
johnathan stewart
2024-05-12 21:36:51 +0000 UTCEryk is OP, he just doesn't start off that way, and has to contend with other OP characters. Once Eryk starts to explore with everything his dimensional storage space can do he is OP, and he starts that exploration in book 1.
Thomas
2024-05-12 21:05:26 +0000 UTCEryk got lost in a blizzard on his way to a wedding. He wakes up in a different universe with magic, elves, and a civilization started by a lost Roman legion. Follow Eryk as he is forced into the Legion where he begins to learn combat and magic. Can he keep being from another world secret, should he?
David T
2024-05-12 21:02:17 +0000 UTC
