No Way Back

Let’s just say, if it wasn’t for Anna, I probably would’ve never in my life ended up in Minneapolis. Especially considering I’ve spent my whole life down south — Louisiana, where winter means maybe throwing on a hoodie and snow is something you don’t see for years. But here… it’s February, sidewalks covered in slushy snow, cold wind sneaking under my jacket, and I’m sitting in some Scandinavian café on the corner of 4th Street, staring out at a miserable lake with a cup of something Anna ordered for me — “Oat milk flat white, no sugar,” she said it’s the best in the whole city.

— You know, I still can’t believe you actually flew here, — Anna said, smiling at me over the rim of her latte cup. — You’re totally crazy.

— Well, yeah… — I mumbled, lowering my eyes to my nearly empty cappuccino mug. Sugar stuck to the sides. I felt the cold spreading in my chest. Anna’s smile didn’t fade, but inside me — probably ever since I landed here — that gnawing feeling kept growing… that something was off.

No, everything was perfect, especially during the first week. Anna was probably the only and the first woman in my life with whom our conversation and connection started immediately, like we’d known each other forever. We met on an app — your typical right swipe, but there was nothing typical about how fast we clicked. Two days later, we were messaging each other morning, noon, and night, like it was the most natural thing ever. On the fourth day, I was already browsing airline websites, on the fifth — bought the ticket, and twenty-four hours later, I was in Minneapolis.

I was sure — well, what if? But from the first meeting, everything felt… weird. Anna’s smile, her gaze — something about it was way too perfect, too calculated. Like she… I don’t even know. It’s awkward to even think about it, but it felt like she was putting me on a pedestal. Like I was the only one of my kind on the entire planet, or hell, the whole universe. And the more we talked, the more convinced I became. I even turned her down, feeling this inner anxiety, when she offered — on the very first day we met — “come over to my place.” I told her honestly it was too early for sex, but she insisted, saying “we’ll just lay down together”…

Oh, that felt like the most fucking humiliating decision for my manhood. Turning down a girl after that? What kind of man does that make me?

Anna just smiled then — didn’t even flinch, didn’t get upset. She said something like:

— Well, you’re just special. Not like the others. It’s actually kinda great that you turned me down like that.

She said it with a smile that had this sadness in it, but back then I thought it was just her thing — a bit mysterious, a little dramatic. Who knows, maybe she’d gone through something in the past, lost someone, or she was just absurdly romantic. And I kept trying to do the right thing, to act like a gentleman, be delicate… But with every day that feeling of “wrongness” grew stronger, like I ended up in someone else’s script, where all the lines were already written, and I was just an actor who missed the first rehearsal.

But she didn’t seem to notice any of it at all, like she was seeing everything through her own filter of perception.

Probably I’m flying out today. My hotel reservation is ending, and even though we planned to stay together a bit longer — Anna rented a little house outside the city for us — but it hit me only recently that the house was part of her father’s business, and I’d have to meet him to even get there. I caught myself thinking I just wanted to run away. No explanations, no drama. Say something urgent came up, that I have a ticket for tomorrow, work is calling — hell, even say the Devil himself showed up. Anything, as long as I could escape this growing, absurd avalanche of emotions.

— Listen, — I mumbled, pushing the cup aside. — Let’s go, I guess. Walk to your place…

— You didn’t even finish your drink, — she interrupted softly, almost whispering.

I looked at her, at that smile, those eyes looking at me not like I’m some guy from Louisiana, but like I’m the center of her personal universe. I sighed and took the last sip, putting the cup on the table and starting to get up.

— Jeffrey, come on... look inside the cup, — Anna’s voice sounded like she was barely holding back a tremor. Not from nerves. From something bigger.

I frowned.

— What?

— Just... look.

I sat back down, leaned over the cup, absentmindedly spun it in my fingers — and froze.

At the bottom, between the streaks of coffee grounds, like some cruel joke of fate, clear letters appeared. Black, sharp, like engraved into the enamel:

“Marry Me.”

I went still. Stared like an idiot for a few seconds, then sharply looked up.

— Very funny… — I said it with a shred of hope that she was joking, but deep inside, I was almost sure it wasn’t a joke at all.

Anna didn’t answer. She silently stood up. Or no, not just stood up — she walked around the table and stood next to me. Then, slowly, like she was acting out a scene on stage, she knelt down on one knee.

I felt the blood drain from my face, my ears ringing. Someone gasped behind me.

— I know it’s weird, — she said softly, tilting her head slightly. — Maybe it’s too soon. But I’ve never felt anything like this. Not with anyone. We’re connected, Jeffrey. We’re perfect for each other.

— Anna… — I let out a nervous laugh. — This is insane. We’ve only known each other for ten days. You get that, right?

Anna looked up at me, her eyes burning with almost physical heat. The people in the café suddenly turned into silhouettes — irrelevant, background noise like in a nightmare. All attention — only on me. On us. Someone started filming and taking pictures.

— I get it, — she nodded. — But you get it too. We didn’t meet by accident. I feel you, like we’re… entangled. And I know how it sounds. But don’t you feel the same?

I took a step back. Tripped over the edge of the rug under the table. Put the cup back down quickly — and the tremble in my fingers didn’t escape her eyes.

— Look, I really like you. Seriously. But I… I don’t even know what to say. — I jumped to my feet. People started looking around. — Shit, you’re putting me in such a fucking awkward spot. You know that, right? I… I’m a man, after all. I’m supposed to be the one proposing to you.

I shrugged, like that was the most logical argument ever. She froze, like my words really cut through her. But instead of getting upset, a faint, almost playful smile crossed her face.

— Oh, that’s how it is, — she said. — So the whole thing is that you’re a man?

— Well… yeah! — I threw my hands up awkwardly. — I just want everything to be normal, for fuck’s sake.

She smirked, barely audible, then stood up. Slowly. Brushed off an invisible speck of dust from her knees. Took a deep breath.

— Oh God… — she said almost theatrically. — And here I thought you were just afraid of intimacy. Well, in that case, it’s not a problem at all.

SNAP.

I didn’t even realize right away it was the sound of her fingers. The world just darkened for a second, like the café flickered. The air turned thick, heavy. But it passed quickly. My ears buzzed, but not from blood — from… a shift. My earlobes were being pulled down hard.

I immediately touched them — and felt big hoop earrings, exactly the kind I always liked on girls — and the same second my fingers twitched. Nails. On my fingers. Long nails, brushing my earlobe right at the earring clasp. I exhaled — and right then I heard it. A soft, high-pitched sigh. It escaped my own lips, but sounded like it came from a completely different woman.

— What… what did you do?.. — I breathed out, hearing my own voice like… I don’t even know, like my throat was squeezed, and now I couldn’t talk any other way but in this way-too-high tone.

— I just… fixed it, — Anna replied calmly — no… not Anna anymore. Standing in front of me was a tall man with those same piercing eyes, only now, as if to spite me, there was even more confidence in them. His voice was lower, deep, almost velvety, but I still recognized the same familiar tone. — See, now it all makes sense. Now you’re the woman. And I’m the man. And I’m proposing to you.

I jumped up — and right then I felt my new Breasts bounce, sending a dull ache under this… blouse, sweater? What the hell was I even wearing?

I looked down sharply. Bare shoulder, sleeve hanging off like on purpose, neckline — so low that with every movement my Boobs… my Boobs — were completely on display. I looked, fuck, exactly like my sister — the one obsessed with this style, which, sure, I secretly liked, but obviously never imagined I’d be wearing this shit!

— Easy, easy, careful, — Anna — or whatever the hell their name was now — helped me not to fall, grabbing my elbow firmly, like a man. My arm, so thin and fragile, practically drowned in his palm.

— What the hell… What… what the fuck… — I was trying to process it, feeling my insides twist into a knot, my legs literally turning to jelly. How is this possible? Is this even me?! Am I about to faint?! Me?!

I collapsed back onto the chair, feeling my Boobs jiggle, and my hair — long hair, smelling like lavender or something like that — tickled my cheek, making me flinch.

— Jenny, I’m here, it’s okay, it’s okay, — Anna said in that deep masculine baritone, sitting down closer and hugging me, and suddenly I realized how much bigger she — no, he — had become, or… I’d shrunk? Because his hand, fuck it, his hand wrapped around me like I was some kind of ragdoll. — I’m here, yeah… and honestly, I kinda like it this way.

— Like it?! — I squealed, whipping my head toward him, furrowing my brows. — Change me back! You… what the fuck is this?! Who even are you?!

— Who am I? — he repeated, slowly rising from one knee, standing right in front of me. His voice dropped even lower, thicker, richer. — I’m the one who truly loves you, Jenny.

— Don’t call me that! — I snapped, though my voice broke into a hoarse whisper, unnaturally high, almost melodic. — An… wait… Anna?

He — no, she — no… he! — leaned in closer. The light from the wall lamp fell across his face, highlighting familiar features, only now they looked… like a reflection in a twisted mirror.

— It’s Andrew now, — he said softly, almost whispering, and sat down across from me, not breaking eye contact. — The happiest man… ugh no, fiancé, on Earth!

He pulled me close, and I felt it again — his chest pressing against my back, the warmth of his hand resting on my waist, and… the pounding of my own heart. It was beating faster than normal.

— Please… let go, — I mumbled, pressing my palms to his wrist, feeling my long nails catch on the fabric of his sweater.

He let go, but didn’t step back. Stayed right there. Tall, now much taller than me. Strong. Way too confident. His gaze burned through me — but not like Anna’s, with that softness, that hint of sadness. No, this was Andrew’s gaze — male, dominant, determined.

— God, you’re even more beautiful… — he whispered, his fingers brushing my chin, like he was afraid I’d melt or disappear.

— Ann… Andrew… — I started, realizing I was dealing with some unknown force, and clearly the power wasn’t just in those hands. Anna, or fuck, Andrew, definitely wasn’t in their right mind. — Maybe… maybe you can change it all back?

Those eyes — still hers, but now on a man’s face — flickered slightly. He pulled back, sat down, looking at me with this new, almost painful nervousness.

— So… you don’t want this? — his voice still sounded gentle, but there was that tension I already knew. Too much hope in it. — I thought… I felt… that you did. That this, between us… it’s real.

I went silent. My lips quivered. And in that moment I suddenly realized how fragile everything was. He could, with a snap, do pretty much anything. This was dangerous — a man, a woman? Who the hell even was this? He’d already done it once. Would he do it again? And if he does… what else is he capable of?

I swallowed hard, feeling my insides twist tight. I couldn’t screw this up. Couldn’t. My fingers with those long nails slid through my hair. God, is this really happening… I’m a woman?

— I… — I started slowly, then looked him straight in the eyes. — I just… got scared. You know? It’s all happening too fast. I mean… I just got here. I didn’t know you…

He stared, unblinking. Something inside him looked like it was cracking apart.

— You’re so beautiful. So damn beautiful… — he whispered. — I’m so sorry… I…

His hand reached up to snap his fingers. I watched, hoping — but at the last second, he stopped. His fingers froze in the air. His expression shifted, something vulnerable flashing across it, almost childlike.

— But if you leave… if you turn back into that guy… — he swallowed. — I’ll lose you forever. And I don’t want that. I can’t.

I placed my hand on his — gently, as gently as I could. And softly, barely audible, I exhaled:

— I won’t leave, I…

— What if you do!? — his voice trembled, but not with anger — with fear. He squeezed my hand tighter, almost painfully, and for the first time, I saw him — no, her — not as some all-powerful witch or lunatic, but as… a desperate person.

— I won’t leave, — I whispered, even though everything inside me screamed in protest.

— Then why do you want everything “back”? What does it matter how we look? What matters is we’re together! That we love each other… — his eyes locked on mine, and he added, — we do love each other… right?

I froze. His stare burned straight through me, pulling an answer out, demanding confirmation. But inside — emptiness. Panic. My own voice betrayed me, trembling like I really was the person he kept calling me.

I felt my palms sweat. My eyelids grew heavy. I had to say something. He was waiting. His whole body trembling from tension. Would he snap again? Leave me stuck like this — forever?

— I… — I exhaled, and at that moment, I felt my Breasts bounce again, shifting with my breath. I heard my earrings jingle as my head moved. God. This is really me right now.

— I… probably… yeah. I love you.

He exhaled sharply, relieved, pulling me into his arms.

— Jenny… you’ve made me the happiest man on Earth. I knew you felt the same. I knew it.

And I just sat there, pressed against his chest, my fingers shaking, feeling my knees trembling under the skirt, my body no longer mine. And I realized there was no way back now.