The Debt Must Be Paid - Episode 2

Episode 1: https://www.patreon.com/posts/debt-must-be-125433929

...

*Knock-knock-knock

Let this bastard be here.

I was standing at the garage door where he sometimes spent time messing with his old cars. It had been almost a year since I became Candy. A year of hellish work at the club — every night feeling those filthy stares, every hour working off my share of the debt. I’d already paid twenty-two thousand. Fifty left. Fifty thousand that felt like an impossible mountain to climb.

— Yeah? — a creaky voice came from behind the door.

— Open up! It’s me! — I shouted, trying to make my voice sound as commanding as possible. Damn, I’m so fucking sick of all this. That voice, these damn tits, these... fucking periods and the daily humiliation! I had no strength left. None.

The door creaked open, and I saw the same blank face of the flesh trader.

— What do you want, girl? Came to please your good old uncle? — he smirked.

I walked in silently, and the door shut behind me. The smell of oil and metal hit my nose. “Girl.” I didn’t even flinch at that word anymore. Over the year, I’d been called everything — “Sweetheart”, “Slut”, “Baby”, “Cutie”, “Bitch”, and a dozen other “affectionate” names I had to take with a smile. And then… please those bastards, pretend I liked it, pray that tonight wouldn’t bring another client who wanted something special — something that would make me cry into my pillow after he left.

I was tired. So tired that every new day felt like torture.

— I need another body, — I said sharply, dropping all unnecessary words. Straight to the point. Like Carl used to do.

The old man burst out laughing, his face wrinkling even more, turning into something like a baked apple.

— Oh, girl, you’re killing me! You’re fucking killing me! — he clutched his stomach. — You just come here, after a year… and say “I need another body”! Ha! Sure, maybe you also want a palace on the coast and a guy with a cock down to his knees, huh?

I clenched my teeth.

— Don’t you dare talk to me about men, — I hissed, and the hatred in my voice made him shut up. He understood the jokes were over.

— Listen up, — I began, stepping closer, my breasts almost brushing against his burned-out overalls. — I’ve been working myself to the bone. A whole damn year. Every night I sell my body. Disgusting clients, fines, club deductions. I’ve almost paid off half of Candy’s debt, and the remaining fifty thousand — that’s an eternity. Another two and a half years of this life! I can’t take it. You have no idea what it means!

I paused, catching my breath. He stayed silent, just staring at me with those deep-set eyes.

— I’ve got money. Saved some. Not all, of course, but I’ve got something. I’m sure there are people who’d give everything for this body! After all, we’re in America, and there’s a whole bunch of fucking trannies, fetish freaks, and other perverts! I’m sure there are those who’d pay to become like me! You’ll find them! And you’ll find me a new body. A male one. Any. I don’t care what it looks like! Just so it doesn’t have all this... — I pointed at my breasts and looked down at my body.

The old man stayed silent for a long time, his eyes scanning me up and down. His gaze slid over my legs, my hips, lingered on my breasts. His eyes grew even greedier. I felt sick to my stomach, but I forced myself to stand still.

— And here I thought you got used to it, — he finally said. — They say you’re the best girl in Mike’s club. Even he’s satisfied with you. And now you want to run away. Why not? Everyone has the right to dream, right?

He smirked.

— You don’t have the money. Not even half of what’s needed. This body… — his eyes ran over me again, from head to toe. — You shouldn’t talk like that about it. It’s good merchandise. Very good merchandise. I know a Japanese guy — he pays for ones like this. He’d pay more for this body than Carl did.

— So you knew! — I blurted out. — You knew all along!

— Of course I did, — he said calmly. — Mike’s a good client. Sometimes he wants his little problems... solved. Quietly. No fuss.

I froze. What? In my head, the puzzle finally came together — one that should’ve fit long ago. It was all so obvious. That bastard knew. He knew from the very beginning that I was Carl, and that’s exactly why he made me go through all this. He enjoyed my humiliation. He made me work for him like a common whore, knowing exactly who I was. God! What am I even saying — if someone asked me to describe Mike’s dick, I could give you every damn detail, down to the little spot and every one of his five fucking veins. Three big ones and two smaller. I feel sick just thinking about it, that’s how clearly I remember it.

My world collapsed. For the first time in a year, I felt not just humiliation and exhaustion. I felt despair. Mike hadn’t just used me. He planned it. He lured me in, made me make that choice. He didn’t just give me Candy’s body — he gave me her debt, her job, her humiliation. And he enjoyed every second of my fall.

The old man’s face turned soft again, almost fatherly.

— You just now figured it all out, girl? — he stepped closer, and I caught the smell of booze and cheap cologne.

— I... I’m not a girl and you... you know that — I whispered, so quietly it barely sounded like my own voice, as if even saying it no longer made sense.

— Oh, come on... — he smirked, placing his hand on my shoulder. — Do you even believe that yourself?

I stayed silent.

— I know that even inside you’re already... — he traced a circle in the air near my breasts, without touching. — You know, I can help you. But it’ll be a deal with Candy. Just Candy. Understand? I don’t know any Carl.

I nodded. What else could I do?

— A deal, — he continued, his voice turning businesslike, hard. — I like you. You’re a smart girl, and you’ll survive. But if you want my help, you’ll have to do something for me. Something you should’ve been doing already, but got lazy about.

— What? — I asked, afraid of what he’d say.

He leaned in and whispered in my ear.

— A little favor. Right now...

— You... you seriously can’t think about anything but your dick?! — I hissed through clenched teeth, feeling a wave of rage and disgust rising inside me.

He laughed, and I shifted my gaze to his pants, then to his face, then back to his pants again. For a while, we just stared at each other in silence. I stood before him, in my revealing outfit, with the hair he loved to wrap around his fingers. And he stood there in his stupid work clothes, with his filthy beard and greedy eyes.

— Alright, fuck it, — I finally exhaled, dropping to my knees on the cold, dirty concrete floor. — Just make it quick.

He smirked as my hands, trained with a year of professional precision under Mike, unzipped his fly. But just as I opened my mouth to start what I’d been forced to do almost every day for a year, he suddenly stopped me.

— No, no, not like that, girl, — he said, and there was an unexpected authority in his voice. — That was just a test.

He took a few steps back, leaving me kneeling there, stunned and humiliated. Fuck, since when did a guy refusing a blowjob from me start to feel like an insult? I hated myself for that thought. Angry because I’d been… rejected? What the fuck was wrong with me?

— Where the hell are you going?! — letting my emotions take over, I couldn’t hold it in and shouted after him, throwing my hands out to the sides, not even knowing what to do with them anymore. — What fucking test are you talking about?! I told you I’d suck you off!

— Oh-oh-oh... — he clicked his tongue and shook his head. — Yeah, I can see there’s nothing left of Carl anymore, — he went on with a smug look. — Kind of a shame, really. He was a good guy. Smart. But now... now you’re just a thing. A thing that can still be useful.

— Don’t you dare… — I started, but he cut me off.

— Dare, don’t dare… You’re just a whore. But a whore that might actually be worth something. Listen up, Candy. Listen carefully.

I slowly got up, brushing the dust off my tights, and stared at him, showing I was ready to hear whatever came next.

— Like I said, there’s this Japanese guy. He’s got a special fetish thing for… those who used to be men but turned into women. And he pays well. Really well. For you, I think he’d shell out a hundred grand, maybe more. Money you can take with you. If, of course, he doesn’t decide to keep you for himself. But that’s not my problem.

I listened, my heart pounding somewhere up in my throat. A hundred thousand. That was more than I needed. That was a way out.

— Anything! — I breathed out. — I agree! What do I have to do?

He smirked again, and I knew right then it would be something disgusting.

— All in due time. He’ll be in town in a month. Come here, exactly at two in the afternoon. He’ll come for you. And be… special. He likes the special ones. Especially those who still remember what it was like to be a man. I know it’ll be hard for you, but try.

Hard?! Is he fucking kidding me?! I remembered every single second who I used to be! Every time I looked in the mirror, every time some client grabbed me with his sweaty hands, every time Mike came in my mouth. You don’t just forget that!

— It won’t be hard for me! — I growled.

— Well, I don’t know, I don’t know… — he drawled, scratching his belly. — You were just about to suck me off, and I didn’t even ask.

I froze. Yeah, he was right. A year of this had destroyed me, turned me into an animal that lived by instinct. The instinct to survive. And that instinct whispered: when there’s a strong man nearby, make sure he’s pleased.

— I... I’ll be ready, — I said quietly. — Just tell me exactly what he wants.

— He wants you to remember. You understand? He wants you to be... both a woman and a man. Come here, sweetheart.

I reached into my purse, where I kept a condom and a pack of tissues, but he stopped me.

— No. There you go again... Just come here. Don’t be afraid.

I walked over. He placed his hands on my shoulders, and I flinched involuntarily.

— Easy, easy... We’re just going to talk now. Man to man.

I swallowed hard. Man to man? What the hell does that even mean? I wanted to say something, but suddenly he pulled me close and... kissed me. His tongue forced its way into my mouth, and I froze from the shock. It was unexpected. Strange. His mustache scratched my skin, and his breath reeked of booze. But there was no aggression in that kiss — not the kind I felt from Mike. It was something... different.

My hands instinctively slid up his back. I kissed him back — with all the softness I’d learned over the past year. Gently, obediently, like a priestess of love. I leaned into him, my breasts pressing against his chest, and I felt his cock start to harden through his pants.

He pulled away, and I saw a mix of pleasure and disappointment in his eyes.

— No... — he said, his voice suddenly cold. — No, that won’t do. You understand? I said — man to man! You’re acting like a whore! A submissive whore!

— Then how the fuck am I supposed to act?!! — I screamed, my voice shaking with rage and despair. — What the hell do you want from me?! I’m a woman now! Can’t you see that?! — I grabbed my breasts, the pain shooting through me. — They’re here! You get it?! I bleed every damn month! I can’t be a man! I can’t!

— Then what the fuck did you come here for?! — he roared. — You wanna run away? You want me to find you a body? You wanna be a man again? Then fucking be one! Right here, right now! Show me there’s something left in you! Not just the body — the mind! You understand, you stupid bitch?!

The word bitch hit me like a slap — but at the same time, it woke me up. He was right. I had forgotten who I was. Even though I hated this and remembered my past, I’d gotten used to being a woman. And not just a woman — a whore. They told me to be submissive, and I was. They told me to please, and I pleased. They told me to love humiliation, and I learned to pretend I did — when all I’d really learned was how to hide my disgust. I’d forgotten how to be myself. Forgotten how to be the man who used to lead, who never let anyone break him.

— Fine, — I said quietly but firmly. — Fine. I understand.

I took a deep breath, forcing down the humiliation and fear. I thought of Carl. What would he do in this situation? He wouldn’t yell. He wouldn’t cry. He’d look the bastard straight in the eye — and make him listen.

I walked up to him again — but this time, I wasn’t submissive. I didn’t lean toward him. I stopped an arm’s length away. I looked him straight in the eyes. My gaze had turned cold, hard. Fuck, I could feel something old waking up inside me. That same confidence I’d lost.

— Listen here, old man, — I began, my voice rough but steady. It wasn’t as deep as Carl’s, but the sugary softness of Candy’s tone was gone. — You want me to be a man? I was a man. Mike’s best right hand. I counted his money. I held his gun. I decided who lived and who died. And I know that you know who I am.

He stared at me, and for a moment, surprise flashed across his face. He hadn’t expected that.

— And I also know that you just used my fear to fuck with me. But the game’s over. I’m not your toy anymore. I’m not Candy, the girl who’ll suck you off for promises. I’m Carl, and I’m here to make a deal. A deal that’ll make you money. That Japanese guy — he’s your chance to cash in on me. And mine — to get the hell out.

I took a step toward him, and he instinctively stepped back. A small, almost invisible sign that I’d hit the mark. I could taste power again. That familiar, intoxicating taste I hadn’t felt in so long. But at the same time… it was strange. My movements were still feminine. I walked with that natural sway of my hips — the way I’d learned to walk in these damn heels. My hands, resting on my hips, still looked graceful, even as I tried to make them seem commanding. My breasts rose and fell under the thin fabric of my dress, drawing his eyes.

I saw his gaze slide from my lips to my neck, then down the curve of my hips. And I understood. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I wanted to be Carl again — on the outside, I was still Candy. And that was both my greatest weapon and my deepest weakness.

— Oh… this is… actually interesting, — he said, regaining his composure. That predatory spark lit up in his eyes — the same one I’d seen in Mike’s so many times. — Maybe this could work. Come on then. Show me something else.

— I’m not kissing you, — I said firmly, though something inside me flinched. What if he wanted to test me again? To see if I could act like Carl this time? What if I said the wrong thing? — And I’m not sucking you off, if that’s what you’re thinking.

— Jesus, Candy, you’re hopeless, — he burst out laughing. — I was just starting to believe you might actually be a man, and then you say that. Men don’t talk about that kind of thing out loud. Especially not about what they won’t do. They just don’t do it.

Shit. He was right again. I’d screwed up. I was acting like some teenager trying to prove he’s grown-up — and just ending up looking pathetic. I really was playing a role that didn’t fit me. The body got in the way. The habits got in the way.

— That’s it, old man, I’ve had enough of your shit! — I snapped, pulling myself together, remembering how I used to handle suppliers back when I was Carl — the ones who tried to screw me over. — Don’t fuck with me, or else—

BRRGGHT! BRRGGHT! BRRGGHT!

A sharp, deafening sound tore through the air of the garage — like the roar of a dying beast. I flinched all over. Every muscle in my body tightened.

— AAAAAH! — a high-pitched, piercing scream ripped from my throat before I could stop it. My hands instinctively covered my ears as I crouched down, pressing my legs together, waiting for something terrible to happen. It was pure instinct — automatic, helpless.

And then I froze — not from the sound, but from my own reaction. I had screamed. At the exact moment I was trying to show all my strength, trying to be Carl — tough, unshakable — I’d let out that... that girly shriek. Weak. Frightened.

I lowered my hands and looked up at the old man. He stood there just watching me. And on his face — there was no mockery. No triumph. There was something else... Something like pity. Or maybe it was disappointment — a deeper, quieter kind, that cut even worse.

— Alright. That’s enough for today, — he said quietly, nodding toward the door. His voice had lost all its edge. It was just tired. — Go. Come back in a month. Don’t be late.

He turned his back to me, walked over to the workbench, and started tinkering with something — I couldn’t even tell what.

— And Candy, — he said, glancing back over his shoulder. — Just… try. At least try. For yourself.

I nodded silently, feeling my cheeks burn with shame. I turned and walked toward the exit. This time I didn’t try to walk like a man. I just walked. Step by step, feeling my legs tremble, feeling the cold emptiness inside me that came with the realization of my defeat.

Candy. He called me Candy. And I didn’t say a word.

I stepped outside, and the cool evening air hit my face. The night was clear, stars burning bright in the sky. I looked up at them — and suddenly I wanted to cry. Not from pain. Not from humiliation. But from some vast, aching sadness. From the realization that I’d lost myself. Forever.