Crazy Ell

The hot light streamed through a panel of amber stone, as if filling the room with some kind of magic. The air carried the scent of something salty and herbal, thick like after a sauna. He... now she, though she didn’t know it yet, was lying on a lounge chair, feeling like something was off. The masseur had left quite a while ago and still hadn’t come back.

— Um... Sorry— she hesitated, hearing her own voice and immediately cleared her throat — Kkh-kh! What the...

Propping herself up on her elbows, she suddenly felt her breasts—yes, breasts—gently sway. And her heart skipped a beat. She… no, he… although now “he” already sounded off… looked down and froze.

Two round shapes, tightly wrapped in a pink bikini top, rose and fell softly with each breath. They trembled to the rhythm of her heartbeat. Full, with a new kind of weight. She reached out, almost not believing it, and carefully touched the fabric, noticing long, manicured nails on her fingers. Her finger slid along the curve and pressed against the cup, and in that moment something stirred inside—like touching something both familiar and entirely new.

— What the fuck, is it already happening? What the hell is this realism?...

‘Psycho-experience. Deep immersion. Full simulation.’ She still thought it was just a program—one she, as a lead developer, was testing after the final trial phase. A very advanced program with neuro-plates, modulating the body through total detachment from reality—it felt like just a very, very good illusion. All she needed was to go through it, feel it, collect sensations. But when she moved again, leaning her back against the lounge chair, and the tight fabric of the bikini stretched across her nipples, almost winking at her nervous system, and when her abs responded not with the usual firmness but with some soft, feminine give—she suddenly realized she couldn’t find anything to grab onto to feel like herself. Her former “he” simply wasn’t here at all.

And then came the panic. She—or rather he, because the male “I” was still echoing in the head—reached toward her thigh. Grabbed it. Squeezed with her fingers—the skin was smooth, soft, like after an expensive spa treatment. The hips were wider than they should’ve been, and when she shifted her weight to sit up straight, she noticed how the whole body moved strangely—as if it already knew how it was supposed to move, and just did it without asking. A woman’s posture. A woman’s grace. She—or he—was sitting cross-legged, hands resting on her breasts, and couldn’t understand: how is she doing all this so calmly?

— Oh my God... — she exhaled, for the first time not just hearing but feeling the vibration of her voice. Thin. High. Almost melodic. — This… can’t be… I didn’t agree to this.

She grabbed her tits with both hands—not painfully, but firmly. Like trying to prove to herself that none of this was real. But the tits didn’t vanish. They breathed. Lived. Reacted to touch. Even through the bikini she could feel their inner pulsing—completely different from what he was used to, almost alien. And there was something terrifyingly intimate about it.

“No, no, stop. This is a test. Yeah, just a test. They warned me—it would feel real. Just relax and live through it. Three hours. Or six. Then you’ll go back to your room, the effect will wear off, they’ll log the data, and it’ll all be over.”

She ran her palm over her stomach again—flat, smooth, not a trace of hair. Everything felt unnaturally sleek. And the more she touched herself, the more she realized it wasn’t just that she couldn’t feel her own body—it was something else entirely. Everything was different at the core.

And then… everything vanished, like someone snapped their fingers. The lounge chair beneath her dissolved into a soft haze, the amber light was replaced by a blinding sunspot, and the herbal scent gave way to hot ocean breeze and the moist smell of coconut oil. She was too stunned to scream—just suddenly found herself on the sand, in a body that was starting to feel dangerously familiar.

— Ella! Crazy Ella! You sunbaked your brain again or what? — a cheerful voice rang out, and a cushion from a beach lounger flew straight at her face. Soft, smelling of salt and someone else's perfume.

She blinked, clutching the cushion like a shield, and looked around in shock. White sand, loungers, girls in bright bikinis, cocktails in hand, someone squealing in the water from the splash… And nearby—three girls, all in shiny, provocatively revealing swimsuits, looking at her like she’d been hanging out with them for days.

— Um... I—Ella swallowed, staring at the girls, confused — I’m not Ella, I’m—

— Oh come on! Really? Again, right now? Fine, let’s get this over with, ok! — the girl with the dolphin said, slightly annoyed, then smiled — We know you’re not Ella, you’re the great lord of some virtual dominion or whatever — she burst out laughing and lazily stretched, snapping her fingers in front of Ella’s face — Come back to us, life of the party, or you’re gonna spiral again into your whole “I’m not me and the horse isn’t mine” bullshit.

— Seriously, Ell, — added the second one, with slicked-back dark hair and a nose ring — Yeah, you’re a “temporarily hijacked dude in a chick’s body.” We’ve heard it already. Like… fifteen times? Let’s just go for a swim!

Ella froze, unsure what freaked her out more—the ease with which they talked about it, or the fact that there was zero irony in their voices. They actually sounded like they meant it. Like she really was that “Crazy Ella” who every now and then starts suddenly thinking she’s a man trapped in someone else’s body.

— This… what? Why are you all so chill and… — she tried to get the words out, not recognizing herself in that soft, almost flirtatious voice that got stuck in her throat, tangled with the flood of thoughts spiraling in her head. — I was… I don’t know how I got here! I was just—

— Right over there, building empires in a sandcastle and barking orders, — cut in the third girl, with caramel-colored skin and laughing eyes, like it was all just a game. She leaned in close, her pineapple-scented lotion washing over Ella, and gently poked her in the forehead. — And then poof! You’re back again. Don’t stress, babe, we’re used to it.

Ella pressed herself into the lounge chair like she was hoping to crawl inside it, hide within herself like a safe haven. But it was useless—everything around her screamed “Hey, this is your reality, and you’re Ella, Crazy Ella, the chick who thinks she used to be a dude and everybody’s just cool with it, so deal with it and enjoy the ride.”

— I... I... was... — she licked her lips nervously, and her tongue immediately caught the taste of lip gloss—sweet, with some fruity undertone. — This can’t… this can’t be real…

— Ella, honey, you’re not actually joking right now... — chimed in the first one again, the one with the dolphin on her swimsuit, leaning toward her and tilting her head like she was talking to a kid. She studied her friend’s frightened face for a second, then suddenly pulled back with a grin and raised her hand — Well then—

— Wait! — interrupted the one with the nose ring, cutting her off sharply. She straightened up, squinting against the sun, and grabbed the girl’s wrist to stop her. Her voice had that playful threat in it, like she had something up her sleeve.

The dolphin-girl frowned, pulled her hand free, and leaned forward just a little:

— Why the hell are you stopping me, huh? I was just gonna suggest—

— Exactly, — the other one hissed, leaning in and winking way too obviously for Ella to miss it. — Your methods suck. Today we’re doing it the way Ella herself asked for...

She straightened up, slowly ran her fingers down Ella’s shoulder like she was marking her prey, shooting glances at the other two, winking at them one by one, while they caught on and fell silent, waiting for her next move.

— Ella herself… asked for that? — the dolphin-girl started, not quite getting it, but then the caramel-skinned one elbowed her in the side and she added quickly — Oh right, yeah! I remember, I remember! Wait, what do I remember again? Help me out here!

The one with the nose ring rolled her eyes, but leaned in closer to Ella, draping her arm lazily around her shoulder like they were more than just friends—like sisters—and whispered in her ear just loud enough for the others to hear:

— You told us yourself—if you ever started spouting this “I’m not Ella” crap again, we had to remind you that you’re still a girl, and come up with something a guy would totally do but a girl wouldn’t...

— Remind me? — Ella repeated, shrinking under that weirdly sticky closeness. — What do you mean by… “remind”? What the hell does that even—

— It means — clapped the caramel-skinned one cheerfully — That it’s time for you to take off your bikini top and go order a drink at the bar. Oh wait, I mean a beer, right? Guys go for beer?

— What?! — Ella choked on air like someone told her to go on stage naked. — You... you can’t be serious…

— Why not?! Or are you really a girl after all? — the caramel-skinned one teased, sliding one strap of her swimsuit off her shoulder with a smug grin.

— Are you... is this... are you fucking serious?! — she jerked back slightly, like those few inches could save her from this. — I’m not doing that… I’m not like that… I…

— Whoa, easy now, Crazy Ella, — cut in the one with the nose ring, leaning close, and almost tenderly—like a mother calming a scared child—she ran her fingers through Ella’s hair. — We’ve been through this. First you panic. Then you fight it. And then...

— ...then you scream across the whole beach, “I’m a goddess!” — finished the dolphin-girl, and the three of them burst out laughing like it really was a regular thing. A scene they’d played out over and over again.

Ella shook her head, trying to shake off that looping, stuck feeling, but every movement just reminded her how much her body no longer followed any familiar logic. Her Tits stretched under the bikini top, teasing her with the awareness of their weight, and of course, chose this exact moment to act up—just when she wanted to disappear.

— No, fuck no! — she jumped up without even thinking how it looked from the outside. And immediately gasped—her Breasts bounced, her barely-covered nipples peeked from the bikini top, making her instinctively clutch herself again. — This body... It’s not mine! I’m not supposed to be... this!

— See that? — the caramel-skinned one said sweetly, rising after her and stepping closer like a predator, but with something tender in her eyes. — Shock therapy. It's working, girls, she’s almost there.

— We just gotta stop babying her and remind her real quick who she is — said the one with the nose ring, grabbing Ella’s hand and tugging her like she was hyping her up. — Look at us. We know you. You were never some dude. You just... I dunno, lose yourself sometimes. It happens to everyone.

— But... I... I remember! — Ella shouted, torn between defiance and ragged breath. — I ran a fucking corporation! I was inside a VR program! They plugged me in! This is all a simulation, an experiment! Don’t you get it?..

— Do you remember that time you ran naked out of the sauna yelling that you needed a sword and a saddle because you were “punishing a lord in battle”? — the dolphin-girl burst out laughing, and the others joined in loud and clear.

— Ella — the one with the nose ring cut in seriously, cupping Ella’s face in her hands and forcing eye contact — You’re always like this after one of your “flashes” or whatever your therapist calls them. But no. We’re not in a simulation. You just... forget sometimes. We’re here. Your best friends. To remind you of the truth. As many times as it takes.

Ella swallowed hard. Everything inside her suddenly went quiet. Her Breasts tightened at the words, and her eyes dropped—her stomach was subtly drawn in, her hips pressed round and snug into the fabric of the bikini, her Tits slightly sticking out. It all almost made sense. But... no. She couldn’t believe any of this.

And right then, the caramel-skinned one stepped in again, wrapped an arm around her shoulders—not teasing now, but almost gently—reaching for the straps of Ella’s bikini top.

— Come on, Ell. Take off the top. Walk to the bar. Order a beer. Do that, and you’ll be one of us again. You’ll be yourself again.

Ella jerked back, but the caramel girl was quicker—she pulled the knot loose behind her back and the top slipped off. The weight of her Breasts became more real, the movement of them more pronounced, the warm air tickling her nipples. A guy nearby caught sight of her immediately, his eyes locking on her chest, and Ella, without thinking, grabbed her Boobs with both hands, trying to cover up, hide, shield herself—and what came out of her mouth wasn’t at all what she expected:

— Oh for fuck’s sake! He’s staring straight at me like I just threw my bra in his face! Girls, is this even normal?! — her voice shook, and there was something… weirdly feminine in it. Not just panic, but a kind of hysterical outrage, hurt pride—like a sitcom heroine who snapped a heel right before a job interview.

The girls burst out laughing all at once—but without malice. There was a kind of affectionate routine in it, like this had happened a hundred times before.

— Well, that’s it, she’s definitely back — drawled the one with the nose ring, covering her mouth with her hand. — That’s our Ella, alright. Full-on drama, hands on the Boobs, classic meltdown. You’re a damn masterpiece, babe.

— Fuck… — Ella turned toward her, her face burning, breath shaky, and her Breasts… her fucking Breasts were actually bouncing with every word, every emotion. It was unbearable. — What the actual… why the hell am I just standing here?! Like this?! On a fucking beach?! With these... — she grabbed them again. — With these things like they’re my new accessory! Flesh bracelets, for fuck’s sake!

— Not an accessory — snorted the dolphin-girl — but the pride of the female spirit! Hell yeah, baby! You finally realized you’ve got a killer pair!

— Shut the fuck up! — Ella snapped, her voice almost breaking into a scream. — This… this isn’t… I didn’t want this! I was never supposed to be... this! — she pointed at herself, her finger trembling mid-air like it couldn’t quite pin down what exactly she had become. — I’m not...

She went silent. Slowly, very slowly, she lowered her hand. Looked down at her hips, her slim fingers, her stomach, the line between her Tits. All of it—was there. Was hers. And all of it was real. Tangible.

— I... — her voice cracked. Then she tried again. — I’m... a girl.

Her friends, like a synchronized team, clapped, whistled—someone on the beach even turned to look—but none of them cared. They knew this was it. The moment.

— I’m a girl — Ella repeated, staring at the sand. Like she’d let go. Like something inside clicked. Small. Quiet. But real. As if the place where her resistance lived just... vanished.

— That’s our girl — said the caramel-skinned one softly, and with no rush now, like a mom gently covering her daughter with a blanket, she slid the bikini top back on, tying the knot behind her back. — See? That’s it. You’re okay now. You’re you again. Our Ella.

— Welcome home, Crazy Ell — whispered the second one, kissing her on the temple.

And in that moment, Ella suddenly realized that all of this, no matter how badly she wanted to deny it, felt terrifyingly... logical. Like everything really was falling back into place. Like there was a switch inside her, and someone had just flipped it to woman mode.

And now—there was no way back.