Fortune teller curse

“You need to look perfect today!” Sonya’s voice was firm as she leaned over the bathtub, carefully applying lipstick to my lips, as if this was all completely normal.

Completely normal? Damn it, there was nothing normal about this. Just a few days ago, I was an ordinary guy, living my routine life—going to work, hanging out with friends, and never once thinking about what it was like to be a woman. And now, I’m a girl. A blonde, the ideal girl according to Ryan. Though, hell, even I would fall for a girl like this; my body now looked like one of those models from a commercial.

I sat in the bath, covered in foam, afraid to even move while Sonya methodically worked with the brush, perfecting my new face. This was all so absurd! How did I even end up here?

“Hey, stop breathing so heavily,” her voice snapped me back to reality. “And don’t twitch! Otherwise, I’ll have to redo everything. Today is important, and you need to look perfect. Better focus on how to impress Ryan.”

“Impress Ryan?” I almost choked on the words, but Sonya didn’t even react, focused on the precision of each stroke. “This is a nightmare, Sonya! I don’t want to impress him, I don’t want to impress any guy!”

Without blinking, Sonya continued her work. It seemed like she didn’t care at all what I had on my mind.

“Well, then you’ll stay like this forever, and at some point, you’ll want to impress guys anyway,” she smiled and added, “though you can always stay a lesbian.”

“That’s not funny!” I exclaimed, making her brush slip and graze my face. She shot me an angry look. But… she was right. This damn deal with that fortune teller! We shouldn’t have pissed her off! Ryan and I were just drunk. And now, because of her curse or whatever, Ryan had completely forgotten he ever had a friend like me, and the only way to fix it… was to sleep with him in this body.

“Stop squirming, I said!” Sonya raised her voice, moving the brush back to my lips. “The faster we finish, the sooner you can solve your… problem. I’m not even obligated to help you, you know.”

I pressed my lips together in silence as Sonya’s brush glided over them. She was right. Inside, everything was churning from this crazy situation. Me? Have sex with Ryan? It sounded like a wild nightmare, like it wasn’t even happening to me. But that wasn’t the worst part. Today was our first date and… Ryan. He’s different now. Ever since he broke up with his girlfriend, he’s been going on and on about how he’s saving sex for after marriage—or at least for after living with someone for a while! Ryan had become a damn moralist! Crap… How could this get any worse?

“Well,” she sighed in satisfaction as she finished the makeup, “now you’re just gorgeous. Don’t worry, with that face and body, he won’t be able to resist.”

I flinched. It was like she didn’t understand at all that this was torture for me.

“Sonya,” I started quietly, hoping to reach her more human side, “maybe there’s another way? We could try to find that fortune teller and…”

She abruptly stood up, cutting me off.

“Fortune teller, fortune teller, you keep going on about that fortune teller,” she grumbled, tossing the brush onto the table. “Do you even realize that I’m the only one helping you this whole time?! I introduced you to Ryan, I set up this date, I practically wrote you a manual on how to act with him. And you… you just keep complaining! Maybe you should handle this on your own?”

I froze, feeling a knot tighten in my stomach from her words. She was right, damn it. These last few days had been pure hell, but Sonya really was doing everything she could to help me, so I could get my old life back in this new body. And I’d already tried to find that fortune teller on my own for days…

“Sonya…” I tried to soften my tone, but my voice still trembled with nerves. “I… I just can’t accept this. I was a guy! And now… I have to go on a date with my best friend. It’s not normal!”

“You really think I care?” she said flatly. “I’m only doing this because you’re my best friend, and you suddenly started spouting nonsense about being a guy—” she sighed “—to be honest, I want you to be with Ryan. He’s a great guy, and when you started talking about this ‘curse,’” she made air quotes, “I thought you’d lost your mind. But then… then I realized this was the perfect opportunity for you to finally have a normal relationship,” Sonya continued, looking at me seriously. “You’ve always been so focused on yourself, on your work, and on your failed attempts at dating. And now… well, honestly, I started to like this little game of yours, so I decided to play along.”

I sat there in the bath, stunned by her words. This was all madness, and now it turned out that even Sonya didn’t believe what had happened. She thought I had just gone completely crazy. But the way she talked about it, like it was some kind of joke, shook me to the core.

“So, you’ve thought all this time that I was just… playing a game?” I asked, my voice cracking with surprise. “You actually think this is a joke? That all of this can just be ignored?”

Sonya sighed, closing her eyes for a moment as if gathering her thoughts.

“Look,” she said, softening her tone, “maybe I don’t fully understand what’s happening with you. But either way, you look like a model right now. You have a chance to start a new life! Don’t you at least want to try?” Her voice was both irritated and sympathetic. “Ryan’s a great guy, and come on, if you’re telling the truth, then you already know that. You were friends with him, so you’ll get along just fine—” she started rambling while I stared at her with wide eyes.

“Enough, enough, just stop!” I raised my hands to cut off her babbling. My head was already spinning from all this talk of ‘chances’ and ‘perfect opportunities.’ It felt like Sonya saw this whole thing as some kind of romantic story, while I was drowning in an endless nightmare. “Do you even hear yourself? This isn’t a game, it’s not a chance, it’s not some new life! I want my old one back!”

Sonya rolled her eyes and sighed deeply, clearly unimpressed with my protest.

“Oh, yes, yes, sorry, sweetie,” Sonya drawled with such sarcasm it made my skin crawl. “Back to your old life,” she muttered, rummaging through clothes on the chair by the door like it was no big deal. “I picked out a dress for tonight,” she said louder, pulling out a short black dress with a plunging neckline. “Nothing too fancy, but he’s definitely going to look at you like candy.”

I exhaled quietly, realizing that continuing this conversation was pointless.

“Alright,” I said, glancing at the dress she tossed on the chair beside the tub. “If this is all I’ve got left, I’ll do it.”

Sonya, pleased with my response, nodded and smiled as if she’d won.

“Much better,” she said, straightening up and heading for the door. “Put that on, and you’ll look stunning. Ryan won’t be able to take his eyes off you. And then… well, you’ll figure it out as you go.”

She left, closing the door behind her, leaving me alone with my thoughts… and that damn dress.