Chapter 215: Yourself

~~~

Murong Bang’s grand hall is unlike any Liu Jin has seen before.

There are no priceless jewels, gold ornaments, or polished surfaces anywhere to be seen. Weapons, it seems, are the only decorations allowed on these walls. Swords, maces, spears, knives, and more. There is not a single spot on the walls free of them. The ceiling is even worse. It is full of blades hanging down, looking like they could fall on them at any moment. There are so many weapons all around them that the room feels much smaller than it actually is. Only the floor is spared from this odd fashion style.

It is covered in bones instead.

Fractured skulls, broken tibia, cracked ribs. Another person might not notice it in so much detail, but Liu Jin’s eyes can recognize what they are. There are bits and fragments of human bones scattered over the floor as if they were seeds thrown to the wind. It is nearly impossible to walk without stepping on them.

Surprisingly, Murong Bang’s throne is the least remarkable thing in the room. It does not rest on an elevated platform, nor is it big or imposing. It is just a chair where Murong Bang sits.

That is enough.

It is in that simple chair that Murong Bang listens to Liu Jin’s story. The chair needs no adornment because as long as Murong Bang sits there, the rest of the room does not matter. How can anyone fear the blades hanging over their head or the bones under their feet when the most threatening thing in the room is right in front of them?

“It’s been a long time since anyone tells me of those beyond the Dead Plains. A very long time,” Murong Bang says once Liu Jin is done. He leans forward, his large body slouching as he rests his elbow on the armrest. His voice sounds more thoughtful than Liu Jin believed him capable of. “And you’re saying that bastard He is working with them? Ha! Didn’t think he had the stones for it.”

“It is not certain he is working with them,” Liu Jin says. He is kneeling in front of Murong Bang with the rest of the delegation behind him. He can feel bone fragments pressing against his knee. “However, it is undeniable that those beyond the Dead Plains seem to be operating in his lands, and they are preparing to launch an attack from there.”

Murong Bang chuckles. The sound is not unlike the growling of a dog. “And you want me to help you.”

“Not an alliance. General Dan merely requests a temporary ceasefire,” Liu Jin says.

“Of course he does.” Murong Bang rolls his eyes. “If it were anyone but Dan asking, I’d think this was some sort of scheme to get me to lower my guard before those two combined their forces against me.”

“General Dan has no such intentions.”

“Of course not, that’d be halfway interesting,” Murong Bang says, and it sounds like he means it. “But no, Dan and He could never agree on anything. That he sent you all to me before saying a single word to He says it all.”

Though Liu Jin has mentioned nothing of the sort, Murong Bang’s suspicions are correct. Before even thinking of talking to General He, General Dan assured everyone Murong Bang could not possibly be working with the Death Fashioning Scripture and decided to negotiate a temporary truce with him.

That says a lot about how deeply General Dan distrusts General He.

“The possibility of fighting those Beyond the Dead Plains does sound interesting,” Murong Bang admits. “However, I find myself lacking a Hundred-Man Commander thanks to a certain someone.”

Liu Jin narrows his eyes.

“Begging your pardon, General Murong was the one who said I could do as I pleased with his trash.”

And Liu Jin took him at his word. Before leaving the arena, he healed the two survivors of Murong Bang’s game. Great as their injuries were, they were not too far gone for him to save. Unfortunately, it does not seem the men realized his intentions. Already physically and mentally exhausted, the two fainted the moment he started healing them.

Liu Jin left Lei Kong taking care of them outside. Considering his past, it is for the best that Lei Kong is not put too close to Murong Bang.

“Aye, I said that then. Now, I am saying this,” Murong Bang says shamelessly. “Since my army is missing such a crucial piece, I cannot possibly make up my mind right now, can I?”

He is taunting them. The absence of a Hundred-Man Commander means nothing in the grand scheme of things, certainly not for a man like Murong Bang. Still, this is not unexpected. In fact, it is far better than an outright denial.

However, it presents another problem.

“This decision will require…. What is the word? Deliberation, yes. That’s the one,” Murong Bang’s smile is an ugly thing. “You will have to wait, I am afraid. But do not fear. Until I finish deliberating, you will be enjoying my hospitality.”

Until Murong Bang has an answer, they cannot leave this place.

~~~

Despite the look of his grand hall, the accommodations Murong Bang gives them are fairly normal. Perhaps that should not be surprising. Murong Bang’s estate once belonged to one of Cloudburst City’s rich and powerful. It cannot be all blades and bones. Murong Bang cannot possibly care enough to decorate every room to his liking. Really, the only downside of the rest of the building is that it houses Murong Bang.

Some would say that is enough.

“Lady Bai, I did not realize you would be here.”

Lu Mei comes to speak to Liu Jin right after he has settled into his new room. To her surprise, she finds Lady Bai already with him and Liu Jin looking just as confused by Lady Bai’s presence as her.

“I deemed it prudent to be here,” Lady Bai simply says.

Despite that, Lady Bai makes no attempt to say or do anything else. The disciple of the Divine Frozen Palace stands by the window, motionless and pensive. It does not take long for an awkward silence to take over the room.

“Please, do not mind me,” Lady Bai Wen says when she notices their stares. “I am still ordering my thoughts. Do speak of whatever you wish to. Pretend I am not here.”

“I… see,” Lu Mei says, looking conflicted. Very slowly, she turns to Liu Jin. “Is the room secure?”

“As secure as I could make it,” Liu Jin replies, pointing to one of the talismans he stuck on the walls.

“Good.” Lu Mei takes a deep breath. “What was that?!”

Liu Jin winces at the anger in her voice. He could swear the temperature of the room increased just now.

He expected this.

After what happened in the arena, Lu Mei congratulated him on correctly reading the situation and anticipating Murong Bang’s reaction to advance their mission. She had done that in front of the rest of the delegation.

However, they are behind closed doors now.

“I thought you wanted to see me at my most daring.” Liu Jin tries to smile as he sits on the edge of his bed. “Quite unfortunately, it is not a pleasant thing to see.”

“Do not try to lie to me,” Lu Mei warns him. “You are a brilliant man. I know you are. Everyone knows you are, so why would you do that? You could have gotten yourself killed! You could have gotten all of us killed! It might have all worked out in the end, but I refuse to believe you did not see you were needlessly putting all of us at risk.”

Liu Jin’s feeble attempt at a smile falls off.

“I know,” he says, looking down at his hands. “All I had to do was watch and do nothing. I understood that. It would hardly be the first time I stood by and watched as cruel people worked their cruel ways. The lives of two beggars matter little in the grand scheme of things.”

And doesn’t that say something? He does not like it. In fact, he hates it, yet somewhere along the way, he has been forced to accept it.

“I put everything I have worked for at risk. I put you all at risk. I know.”

His confession only makes Mei look more confused. “Then why?”

“I… don’t know why,” Liu Jin admits, and he cannot hide how scared he is. “It had all happened by the time I realized it. I could not stop myself.”

“I know why.”

Liu Jin and Lu Mei both turn to Lady Bai.

“It was your Dao,” Lady Bai tells him, sounding proud.

“My… Dao?” Liu Jin asks. “Big Sister Bai, I am flattered you think so, but I have not reached those heights yet.”

“Of course, you have not reached those heights yet,” Lady Bai tells him, her tone suggesting he had said something foolish. “However, that does not mean you have not cultivated the beginnings of one.”

Lady Bai points to his chest.

“Today, it just so happened that you took a step closer to it. The situation created by Murong Bang resonated within you. Unfortunately, that also forced you to act. Had you not done so, you would have incurred a grievous wound. Betraying your Dao, especially when it is in a nascent stage, is quite serious.”

“Lady Bai,” Lu Mei says somewhat hesitantly. “Does that mean he will always have to act like that because of his Dao? Jin is already reckless enough as it is.”

Under other circumstances, Liu Jin would have objected to that description. Right now, he is afraid Lu Mei might be right. They are not dead now, but that is only because they amused Murong Bang enough to listen to them.

He cannot rely on amusement to survive.

“Of course not,” Lady Bai says, making both of them sigh in relief. “This was simply… an outburst of Dao. Little different from a baby soiling his diapers. However, it is different for a matured cultivator.”

Lady Bai puts a hand on her chest.

“My Dao is Justice.”

She says the word, and Liu Jin and Lu Mei can feel its metaphorical weight as a physical force. It fills the room and holds them in its scales. Its presence is hard and cold, yet safe.

“There is no denying Murong Bang’s actions are unjust, but I could remain a bystander without incurring any penalty. I could do this because I know engaging in a doomed crusade is not justice. Had I acted, it would have been nothing but self-satisfaction,” Lady Bai Wen explains. “So long as I do my best to fulfill the duties given to me, I know Murong Bang will eventually be punished. That is enough to satisfy my Dao. As you grow into your Dao, you will understand how far you can push its limits. However, that is not the case with you yet.”

Unconsciously, Liu Jin imitates Bai Wen’s gesture and puts his hand over his chest. He can hear his heartbeat. He can feel his Qi flowing through his dantian. He can feel his soul beneath his skin.

Somewhere inside all of that, there is the nascent beginnings of a Dao.

A Dao that almost got him killed.

“The self really is the mightiest enemy,” Liu Jin says, musing on the words from Old Jiang’s memory jade.

“Quite.” Lady Bai nods approvingly. “It is why the Renegade Realm is the last before reaching the lofty heights of Emperors. The Earth will try to anchor you. The Heavens will punish you for daring to rise up. However, the enemy of the Renegade Realm is yourself. Your virtues and vices turned against you.”

She waves her hand as if clearing smoke.

“Of course, it is too soon to talk of such bleak things,” Lady Bai says. “This was merely a hiccup, one which has benefitted you greatly as you are now more in tune with your Dao than you were before. As long as you continue on your path, you will learn to avoid incidents like this.”

“Is Jin’s Dao like yours, Lady Bai?” Lu Mei asks her. “Is it… Justice?”

Lady Bai seems to consider her question carefully before answering.

“A good question. I will admit part of the reason why I followed him here is that I felt some kinship toward him. However, that does not mean his Dao is necessarily one of Justice.”

She pauses, and Liu Jin can sense she is frowning behind the hood and veil covering her face.

“It is difficult to speak of Dao. That is why I wished to order my thoughts before doing so. You must understand that using a Dao’s expression to discern its nature is far more complex than it sounds. Your actions were based on Righteousness, but your Dao might be Wrath. In other words, it was in expressing your anger that your Dao was fulfilled and not in standing up for your beliefs. That is just one example. Righteousness might have compelled you to act. Wrath might have demanded to be manifested. Life might have felt the spectacle as an affront. Fire could simply have demanded motion. Those are all possibilities.”

“I mean no offense, Lady Bai, but it sounds as if you are playing with words,” Lu Mei says.

“Of course I am,” Lady Bai says. “At the highest levels, that is all we do. A person cannot be encapsulated in a single word, yet we twist and turn words to attempt the impossible. That is why there is little sense in speaking of Dao to young ones. Any lesson will only confuse them. Even an expert like Lady Meng Yue, Second among the Five, did not realize the nature of her Dao until years after she became an Emperor.”

“What shall Jin do then?” Lu Mei asks, holding his hand. She squeezes, and he squeezes back. “How can we stop something like that from happening again, Lady Bai?”

“You cannot,” Lady Bai says simply. “It might happen. It might not. There is no point in fearing the future. You must simply live as you have always done. Your path will eventually reveal itself to you.”

Lady Bai pauses for a moment. When she speaks next, her voice is heavy with meaning.

“Do not run from yourself.”

Liu JIn meditates on those words all night.

~~~

Mini-Character List

Liu Jin: Our Protagonist. Frustrated with himself.

Murong Bang: One of the Three Heavenly Generals. Highly amused.

Lu Mei: Liu Jin’s girlfriend. Highly worried.

Bai Wen: A disciple of the Divine Frozen Palace. A bit intrigued.