All For Myself Chapter 40

The winter and freezing temperature of February failed to bother me as I covered my face with a fedora hat and moved through the city towards an old phone booth. Truth be told I didn't really need to wear a disguise. With 'See Me Not' and 'Electronic Cloak' active neither humans nor cameras can register my presence. But, I felt like busting out one anyway. Some things just don't need an explanation, plus a Quirk can always fail. Having a regular disguise to look back on isn't a terrible idea.

I stopped at the spiderweb ridden phone booth, ignoring the uncomfortably large amount of arachnids that had decided to call the ancient place home and stared directly at the thing. I checked my watch and mentally counted down for when the clock hit eight.

The one who I'm going to talk to is my person on the inside. A key member in the Heroes forces and, if I ever faced as my opponent would mean my end, lucky for me they were never my enemy to begin with. For once the past me managed to help future me with his actions. I have many preparations in place and they are only one of them. They have the power to turn the tide of this war depending who's side they're on, and their name is-

The phone call rung loudly and suddenly, but it was short lived as I answered in a calm and collected voice." Who are you?" I answered very specifically, as per the code we agreed to. They need to answer this right to confirm it's them.

"I'm your man on the inside. Now, Ryoto, tell me what you wanted to talk about, I'm not exactly getting enough sleep these days. What is this call about?"

I answered swiftly and tried to keep things straightforward, they never cared for long drawn-out explanations, and with his job and lifestyle it's not hard to see why." I'm going ahead with the plan." I simply speak. They hated this plan, Tartarus is a placxe where it's prisoners are treated as less than human. No matter if they break me out I was undoubtedly suffer throughout those months away. But, it must be done. If I can achieve my goals then what's a little jail time?

"...you do realise that we have other options. I'll admit that your plan would give us the ace in the whole needed to destroy them, but if we do get to that point then do we even need-"

"This isn't something that we can afford to half-ass. If we do this right then not just Japan, but the entire world will be shook, it won't even be a fight. These bastards won't give up their livelihoods so easily, they'd rather see all of Japan descend into chaos than hand over a scrap of their power to us. But, if we don't give them a choice then that won't matter. I can handle a few months in the slammer. I have trust in the others to get me out." I answered them, immediately and cut them off before they could go any further.

"...I can see that you're still as stubborn as ever. Fine. We'll do things your way. So, tell me what will we do about the MLA. With you gone they won't have to fear losing their Quirks, so-"

"I can't handle everything. The others will do well, I think that Izuku has finally completely grown out of his old ways. Maybe that's because Eri has settled in with Inko well, or maybe seeing the streets for so long as a Vigilante has toughened him up. Either way I can trust him to handle things, if I ever had any doubt in him it's gone now." I didn't even need to lie when I said that, Izuku has changed a lot since I first recruited him. Gone is the naive and hopeless boy who idolised his bully, and in his place a green butterfly has emerged that's grown out of his old ways. I made the right call giving him 'Overclock'- renamed to 'Accelerate'- since he's been on the news quite frequently as 'Malachite', some even call him 'The Green Flash' or even just 'Flash'. It's a bit funny since 'Overclock' was made to be like this world's version of the Flash. Either way, he will do nicely as the leader. I just need to spread the word of my plan to all my members and have them scatter to their normal lives until I need them. Those who don't can lay low, once I've escaped Tartarus I'll rally the troops again. Some may leave because of my decision, some may not, either way it won't make that big of a difference. They've trusted me so far, I have a feeling most of them will continue to follow me if I go through with this. If not, then I'll just have to move forward without my army.

"...how do you know that they will even let you live to be locked away? Who's to say that they won't just kill you? Afterall All Might had no problems with killing All For One. Who's to say that you'll be different?"

I felt some irritation rise to the surface at such a pointless question." You know as well as I do that the Heroes won't kill someone in front of the world. They've pushed their shallow ideals so far into the minds of the public that they can't show a Hero murdering someone on national television, as foolish as they might be they aren't stupid enough to show their darker side to the people. If they do defeat me then I'll be captured alive and sent to rot away in Tartarus, anything other than that would seem immoral to them." It's one of the major downsides to commercialising Heroes into a bunch of celebrities, you're never showing the people what you're actually doing, this government is essentially brainwashing  their people with propaganda to the point where they can't see Heroes as anything but selfless paragons of virtue- no it's that they don't want to see them as anything else. Because it's easier for them to pretend that the people in control of their lives are pure and flawless than see them for who they really are. When I take control things won't be like that anymore. Heroes will just be law enforcers not... whatever they are now.

"It appear that I'm unable to change your mind. Do you want me to stage the raid on Jaku hospital in a months time? Or do you want to wait until the first years are-"

"A month would be perfect. Thank you for your help, this would be a lot harder if you weren't-"

"It's not a problem, you're doing most of the work and I have to pay you back for saving my life all those years ago. Besides I can see the flaws in this system, if you truly believe that you can fix them then who am I to stop you?"

I couldn't help but smile at their words, still as reliable as ever." I don't know if I'll ever be able to repay you."

The line was silent for a moment before they said." I could say the same about you."

The phoneline then proceeded to go flat as they hung up and I placed the phone back before opening the phone booth and started the walk back to the safehouse. I haven't got much time here, better make it count. Maybe I should go out to dinner, I hear the food in Tartarus is terrible.

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It's been a week since I stumbled upon Hana/Nana and since then... not much has happened in all honesty. A week simply isn't enough time to make a large amount of progress when it comes to mental problems. One thing that I have noticed though is that the two of them can't seem to go a very long time without me. They seem to constantly crave my presence and touch in a way that is honestly just a bit too obsessive for my liking. It reminds me of how in the manga Tomura would constantly crave the touch of his hands, at least until he remembered his past.

I do have an idea on how to fix her mind, though this is going off of what happened to Shigaraki in the manga and how he slowly regained his sanity. Whilst Nana and Tomura are two different people I'm going to assume that they've been through similar trauma, such as murdering their family when 'Decay' first activated. Tomura was shown to be a complete man-child when he was first introduced, much like how Hana/Nana had been acting like a child by lashing out at me when we first talked and multiple times since then she has still shown childish behaviour. The reason for this is because they were both at the peak of their insanity at that point. The reason for that?

Those fucking hands. They were what both oppressed and saved Tenko by turning him into Tomura. Tomura and Tenko were two different people in the manga. Tomura was what Tenko became when he put those hands on, think of him as an alter-ego that allows him to embrace the destructive impulses he feels, but Tenko was still unable to accept that part of him at that point in time. Even if he forgot the memories of his past, the feelings of that moment, the regret, the pain, the ecstasy, that is what remained. As he matured and kept moving he started to recall what happened at that time, he became stronger and more mature as this happened as well, and when he fought Re-Destro those hands were nearly all destroyed. But, that was a good thing, because his memories of the day he killed his family were remembered by him completely, he remembered and understood his past. He accepted who he was.

In that moment Tomura and Tenko finally became one, this was symbolised by him destroying the hand of his father. He was embracing both his Quirk and his nature as a destroyer, his voice cleared up and the neuroticism that caused him to itch was erased.

So, going by that logic, Hana/Nana would need to throw those hands away to overcome their past trauma. And she'd need to do it on her own, without me.

So, as much as I hate what I'm about to do, this is necessary for her. She needs to come to terms with her past.

I sighed with a feeling of fatigue that I haven't felt in years as I set down the hands and once again found myself wondering if this was really necessary. The answer is yes, it is.

I gazed down upon the table with disgust evident as I looked directly at eight different preserved white severed hands of the Shimura family!

Hana must destroy all of these hands on her own, only then can she accept her past and move into the future as her true self. Then again I could be completely wrong, but this is the only way I can see her overcoming her trauma.

I really hope that those two can learn to throw these away. Nobody should have to rely on something so unsettling.

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Hana felt a stray itch on her neck which she went to scratch as she woke up for her day. The past week has been the best seven days of her life, Ryoto has spoken with her, and watched TV with her, and even when she clung onto him he never complained! He's amazing, kind, and so patient with her. She feels like she can do anything just by being near him, whenever she starts to itch all she needs to do is touch him and everything else goes away. Hana hopes that he stays with her forever!

She got dressed into a pair of black leggings that looked great on her, then she put on mid-length blue skirt on top of that and a casual looking black shirt on top of her grey bra. She'd actually gone clothes shopping with him yesterday and he'd bought her whatever she wanted, she felt spoiled but in the best way imaginable!

She looked at herself in the mirror and had to stop herself from screaming at how amazing she looked. She begun to walk out of her room and down the stairs of the place she'd been living at for the past week, all whilst humming to herself. She wondered what he thought of her new clothes, would he compliment her, would he say she looks good, would he-

"Hana." He greeted to her, but his gaze was completely serious, almost sad. Why would he-

Hana felt every muscle in her body lock up from shock as her mind went into overdrive. The negative emotions she'd been suppressing all rose to the surface and her the air became too thick to breathe. What could possibly incite such a reaction from her you ask?

The sight of her family's hands lying on a table behind Ryoto!

Her mind resumed and her thoughts started to become cloudy, she kept on getting flash after flash of what happened all those years ago, it overwhelmed her mind as her hands went to her neck and started to claw away at the soft flesh violently. But, she was too submerged in an ocean of her own insanity to care about the pain she was putting herself through.

"That woman is not your grandmother!"

"Please don't cry, you'll make me sad."

"I forgive you Hana."

"Stop it Hana!"

Hana fell to her knees as vomit exploded out of her mouth and her head burst out in a migraine. She placed her hands on the floor, them being scarily close to the puddle of fluids she just puked up, as her breathing turned ragged and sweat gathered around her head.

Ryoto saw all of this, but didn't help. He knew that this wouldn't be pretty, but it was necessary. It wasn't just Hana inside of that body, Nana is just as much a part of Hana as it is the other way round, they can't fight each other or avoid each other. They needed to be on the same page in order to regain their sanity.

He still cringed at the sight though.

Hana felt an overwhelming sense of guilt and mourning at the sight of those hands. Just staring at them was enough to make her mind feel like it was splitting. Her itch was acting up and she was practically crawling on the floor. She had no idea what he was going showing them to her again, but she knew that she felt like she was going to die!

She weakly and desperately scampered to her feet and managed to crawl her way to Ryoto's feet, each step made her sickness feel worst, she her heart felt heavy, like it was made of lead, and her mind wouldn't stop showing her images of that day. But, when she touched him all of that stopped, she felt calm and her skin didn't itch like it did before. She just had her hand on his leg, but that was enough to placate her. For now.

Hana got to her feet and brought him into her embrace. She didn't care how she looked, he gave her something that those hands didn't. Pure calmness that wasn't attached to the feeling of regret which the hands carried with them. Even her violent half was content in the back of her mind whenever she made contact with the man before her. She didn't have to worry about the past, her mind, her violent urges. She could do away with all of that.

But, apparently he had other plans.

"You need to destroy those thing Nana, they're holding you back." His words were enough to bring her back into reality and turning her gaze into his eyes she saw a seriousness which he rarely shows around her. He elaborated on his words by simply stating to her." I've noticed that you and your other half are rejecting each other, is there a reason for that?" He questioned her, clearly wanting to know why she's so strongly rejecting her alter-ego.

Hearing his question Hana felt a surge of indignation well up inside her chest." She's horrible, she just destroys everything she touches, she needs to be kept down." Though her mind felt slightly fuzzy hearing his words she didn't feel like she was going to split in half. That was nice, she hoped that he kept with her so she never had to worry about splitting ever again.

But, much to her surprise, Ryoto shook his head at her." She's you Hana, she is literally a whole other part of you, rejecting her will only hurt you. Try to accept her, compromise with her even." He spoke diplomatically, as though he wasn't suggesting that she try and talk to that thing which just destroyed everything it touched. It was utter madness!

Hana felt a strange wave of light-headedness as a red aura swept over both of their bodies. She was startled and surprised, but after just a second it was over and her body felt a familiar presence she'd long since grown accustomed to.

She felt a deep feeling of horror settle itself within her core as she realised what he'd done. He'd given her 'Decay' back.

Her feeling about her Quirk have never been good, it only brings it's user pain, All For One made her do so many terrible things with this power. So... WHY WOULD HE GIVE IT BACK?!!

"What did you do?!" Her feelings bubbled up and emerged all at once as she grabbed his collar with both hands and glared into his face, for once showing anger to him for giving her the worst part of her life back. What good could he possibly think would come of giving her 'Decay' back, all her other half would do with it is kill. It's- IT'S-

"I gave you your Quirk back, though if you'd taken a moment to check, you'd notice that I changed it a bit whilst it was in my possession." He spoke, unfazed by her violent outburst, and gestured to the fact she was holding him by the collar with five fingers on both hands, and yet... his suit wasn't turning to dust?

Hana's confusion was apparently being shown on her features as he explained what was going on." I can alter Quirks to a certain extent, before 'Decay' worked automatically on whatever you touch, now you can choose whether you want to turn something to dust." He kept his explanation simple, with few words and maintained his unaffected expression, as though he hadn't just done something lifechanging for Hana by getting her uncontrollable Quirk under control.

Hana felt her mind momentarily shut down at his words. He... what?

She checked her hands and upon doing so she saw that he was being truthful. Her Quirk always activated when she put five fingers on something, it'd crumble away. Yet, both of her hands layed on his suits white collar, and the clothing wasn't rotting away like everything else. She felt that she could though, like there was a tiny barrier that she just needed to-

The white collar he wore under his shirt started to change composition upon the call of her mind, it turned grey like stone, before cracking and turning into dust. Leaving the white haired man with nothing but the black blazer he wore on top of it as dust fell out from under the clothing. He raised an eyebrow at her and said." You could have just grabbed a cup or something, not destroy one of my very expensive, all purpose, shirts that I'd made to be not only comfortable and light, but highly durable." 

Hana couldn't help but flush at his words. Okay, maybe she could have handled that bet- wait a minute!

Hana's mind immediately snapped back into action as she got over her embarrassment and said." Don't change the subject! Why did you even give me 'Decay' back in the first place?! What's the point of giving me this Quirk?!"

He still remained unfazed as he took off his blazer, unbothered that a woman was watching him, leaving his magnificent body shirtless for her eyes. Hana felt her face heat up just by looking at him, he was broad and extremely muscular, but not overly so like- she internally scrunched her face up in disgust- All Might or any other show off. He was tall and intimidating, like if he wanted to he could crush her like a bug, but for some reason that idea didn't scare her.

She had to hold back a whine of disappointment when he covered himself up with a shirt and puts his blazer back on. She could have sworn he gave a small smirk when he noticed she was ogling him, but it was gone in just moments, so she had little time to tell.

"I gave you your Quirk back because it's part of who you are Hana, you need to accept who you are, that includes your other half. That's why I want you to destroy these hands, maybe not now, but eventually." He explained his reasons to her as he walked over to the table where her family was laying, and then picked up one of the hands and passed it to her. He asked, with a non-judgemental voice." Do you think you can destroy it?" He asked. His voice didn't carry any pressure, he was leaving the decision on whether to keep the body part entirely up to her.

She felt her breath hitch as she stared at her father's hand. The white flesh seemed to call out to her as she scratched the itch on her neck. Should she really do this? She doesn't want him to look at her like the freak she is, one who wears her family on her flesh to soothe the itch she always feels, she felt a deep sense of guilt from just the idea alone, yet...  a part of her wanted to still put it on.

Hana took the hand in her palm and stared at it. This was her father's hand, the hand of her  abuser, the one who'd beat the life out of her nearly every day as a little girl, just looking at the thing was enough to make her feel a so much hatred.

Nana scowled at the thing. She could never her past before she met sensei, but she knows that it was horrible. The hand in front of her incited a spark inside her chest like no other. She hated her father, that she was sure of.

Nana wanted to destroy the thing, truly she did. But, something was holding her back, was it her other self, no Hana wasn't the one doing this, so what is it?

She wrapped her five fingers around the hand. It should turn to dust, it should be wiped away, it should be destroy-

"Can you not do it? It's fine if you can't, but eventually you won't need those anymore. If you decide to join me that is." 

The words of the Quirk stealer drew her attention away from the hand she was holding momentarily, and she frowned at him. He was trying to recruit her?

Ryoto merely smiled and continued before she could interrupt him." I think that you will want to join me Nana, because we both want to destroy this society. You might be a destroyer, but who said that needed to be a bad thing."