All For Myself Chapter 39

A smile couldn't help but blossom on my face as I carried a sleeping Hana/Nana through the house I'd decided to place her into and I took my time to admire what she looked like sleeping. Truly I don't know how just giving her 'moisture' and a bath could turn her from looking dirty and dry to absolutely stunning so quickly. The food she ate did a bit of work in filling out her cheekbones, not completely but a surprising amount for just one meal it did a nice job. She'd be over her slight signs of malnourishment soon enough.

I placed her into bed and began to pull the covers over her form, but I had to pull over when her tits blocked the way. I had to stop my eyes from lingering on her chest as I noticed slight bumps on her breasts that were definitely her nipples on the pyjamas I'd clothed her with. I can safely say that I acted like any decent guy would when I bathed her earlier. Did I see her naked? Yes. Did I take advantage of her? No. I feel guilty for it, but I'd be lying if I said that the thought didn't cross my mind once or twice when she was naked right in front of me. She has an insane body to be completely honest with you, great proportions, a perfect jawline, a beauty mark under her chin. She'd still draw a lot of attention even if her skin was still terrible. She's definitely the most beautiful girl I've ever layed eyes on.

A few strands of her pale blue hair were pushed out of line with the rest of her hair, in response to this I reached out and brushed them back into line with the rest of her locks. Her face and eyes were unreactive and her long eyelashes unmoving as I stared at her tranquil face. She looked peaceful, too peaceful for such an unstable girl.

I didn't know what the hell I was doing here to be honest. My plan is going to take place in less than two months. That's too short a time for me to be forming some sort of close bond with this girl, definitely too short a time to fix her mentally, and this may prove to hinder me in some way... but I wanted to do this regardless. Why I couldn't tell you. Maybe I just felt bad for her, maybe it was out of some twisted sense of guilt that All For One was grooming her for, by my estimates, a decade or so and I want to help her see what he did to her was bad. Or maybe I even want to use her like AFO did, turn her into my lackey to taunt All Might with.

Only... I don't feel like doing that last one. It's weird, I'm using a lot of people to get what I want. I've killed to bring me closer to my goal of a more just world. Yet... I don't wish to use this woman for my own ends. Quite hypocritical of me to be honest, I've done plenty of things to manipulate people into doing what I want... only most of that isn't really manipulation. For example if I approach a suicidal woman that's about to jump off a building and offer her a way to live, am I even manipulating them at that point? It's the fault of the people that they'd so easily accept my hand in the first place. How is it my fault if they hate the people who wronged them? It's society that's responsible for that hatred in the first place, not mine.

Now that I think about it am I really that inferior to All Might in terms of morals and all that? He just said that Izuku couldn't be a Hero without knowing anything about him, he decides who's worth saving, who can be a Hero, who's worthy of receiving his power. How is he any different from me?

I'll admit that on paper All Might isn't that bad of a guy. He's devoted his entire life to helping people. But, he poses as some unbeatable figure and says that everything will be okay as long as he just stands up and yells 'I AM HERE!'. Well what happens when he isn't here? When he dies? The answer is simple: he never thought that far ahead. He's worked hard yes, but what was the point of putting in all that effort for a temporary peace. He's focused so hard on what's in front of him, he's been so absorbed in his own little naive fantasy of being the Symbol of Peace, that he can't even see beyond himself.

I hardened my gaze as I looked away from Nana and to the door. It was still early in the morning, I have work to do. I can't just stick around here all day. I have a phone call to answer afterall. And I can't do it here.

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"Hana! Did you go into my study?!" Hana felt her whole body go stiff as a plank when she heard the sound of her father's aggressive voice coming from behind head.

She felt sweat build up on her forehead from nervousness at what would happen to her whenever he used that voice on her. Last week she ended up with a black eye and when people at school asked she had to lie to them. She didn't want her daddy to get in trouble, he just gets angry sometimes and when she makes problems for him he loses control. He always says sorry after so that means he doesn't mean it. She doesn't want her daddy to get in trouble because of her, so when people ask she always just makes an excuse. But, even if she deserves it she doesn't like getting hurt, so she does her best not to upset her daddy.

Slowly, almost painfully so, she went against her body's instincts to run away from her father and turned her head, fully expecting to see the enraged face of Kotaro Shimura which she'd gotten so used to, but instead she saw nothing but the blur of his hand for a split second before it his her on the cheek. She gasped out as she was sent falling to the floor from the force of the blow, clutching her cheek in a vain attempt to soothe the burn that being slapped brought. But no. It was a futile attempt because she was still crawling on the floor, seething in pain from being attacked by her family.

"What did you see in there? You didn't see a photo did you?!" She felt tears well up in her eyes from the pain and the terror she felt as she heard the tone he was using. Her daddy has sounded mad before, but he'd never sounded like that before. She didn't like it, she liked it even less than when he was mad at them. She was scared.

She scratched her neck, like she always did when she was nervous.

Still though, she opened her mouth to speak about what she saw." I-I just saw a photo with you and grandma, why didn't you tell us she was a Hero?" Despite the situation she still found herself feeling excited at the thought of someone in her family being a Hero. She looked so beautiful, and strong, and she had a really pretty smile! Why didn't dad ever talk about her?! She looked amazing!

Though, now that she thought about it, he has said once or twice that she was starting to look like grandma. He didn't sound happy when he said that either, but why? Did daddy not like grandma?

The black haired man's hair seemed to cover his eyes as he clenched his fists." So, you saw her? You saw that woman?"

Hana, being the ignorant little girl that she was, couldn't understand that her father wasn't happy with that and a smile began to tug at her lips, thinking that her daddy wasn't really mad anymore. This was due to his tone of voice becoming something less aggressive for a moment.

Despite the sting on her cheek, she still found the strength to blink away her tears. Her daddy wasn't angry anymore!" Yeah I really saw her, she looked really beautiful, and cool, and kind, and her smile was amazing! Why didn't you ever say that she was a Hero?! I bet she was awesome!" Her demeanour completely shifted as she went from timid and cautious, to happy and she had very clear excitement in her eyes.

"I see, so... you saw your grandma?" He seemed to repeat himself in a cold an detached voice.

She was feeling really happy in that moment and couldn't help but smile brightly. She still couldn't get over that her dad's mum was a Hero! She's always wanted to be one, but her Quirk didn't come out like all the other kids her age. Neither has Tenko's. But, that's fine! She and her brother can become Heroes just like their grandma. They can be a family of Heroes!

"Yeah." She answered her dad as her eyes shined with pure untainted childish joy and innocence. Her cheek suddenly didn't sting anymore, and why would it? Everything was turning great for her! Her dad was gonna let her and Tenko be Heroes! Is their grandma still alive?! Maybe they can go visit her if she is! They looked kind of similar, she has that beauty mark like her and Tenko, plus their hair matched! Maybe if they met she could help them be Heroes.

But, she was just letting her childish brain draw fantasies for her. Real life is often a lot more cruel.

Hana felt the smile be wiped off her face as her father moved quickly and slapped her on the same spot he hit her before. Hard. Really hard. Hard enough to make a sob leave her throat and cause her eyes to flood with tears before she even hit the floor again. Her left cheek felt like it was going to burn off as a visible red hand print was shown on her face. She was in complete agony, she could only focus on something else other than the horrible pain she was in once her father started to scream at her.

"THAT WOMAN IS NOT YOUR GRANDMOTHER. SHE IS NOTHING BUT A MONSTER WHO WANTED TO BE A HERO MORE THAN A MOTHER! A DESPICABLE BITCH WHO CHOSE TO FIGHT BAD GUYS INSTEAD OF RAISE HER SON! YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE EVEN FOUND OUT THAT SHE EXISTED! WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST STAYED OUT OF MY FUCKING OFFICE?!!" Kotaro was panting by the time he was done screaming, and Hana's body was completely frozen from trauma as she tried not to move, not to breathe really, in the hopes that her father would stop being so angry.

"You didn't show your brother did you?" Her father asked after a minute of silence. Hana noticed that her mother and in laws were peeking at them from behind a corner, but not helping them. They were too scared of her father to go against him. He was the one in charge of the house and he made sure that everyone knew that. Even Tenko knew that, and he was just five.

"Hey-" She reacted suddenly when her her father grabbed her arm and she was lifted up. Hana's eyes were wide and full of tears, fear very visible in her brown eyes, as her father brought his hand up to hit her again."-I asked you a questio-"

"It was Tenko!" She felt her lips move before she could even think of what to say that would calm her father down. She didn't know why she spoke those words, it was all that she could think to say in the moment. Her daddy was mad with her and she felt scared so... she could only say-

"Tenko said that he wanted to show me something, that he had a secret he wanted me to see. I'm sorry daddy, I didn't know!" Tears were streaming down her face, they were the result of many different emotions and feelings. Pain, fear and guilt were the most prominent. Pain from the mark on her face, fear of her father who was holding her by the collar, and guilt for throwing Tenko under the bus. She should've just taken daddy's punishment and acted like the older sibling she was.

But... her lips and throat wouldn't move. It was like they were stuck and wouldn't do what she wanted, but then again what did she want? Did she want to take the punishment to spare her brother, or did she want her brother to-

She was suddenly dropped roughly to the floor by her father, the sudden action made Hana reel back slightly from the ache of her body suddenly hitting the floor, and she watched as her father's face darkened and he turned away from her and started to walk away from her and towards their house's front door. He was heading to where Tenko was.

Tenko, he was her brother, he was five and he didn't have a Quirk, just like her. He was kind, he tried his best to smile at her even though she knew that he was hurting, he didn't deserve to hurt. What has she done? She's meant to be the older sister right, so why did she pin the blame on him to save herself? Why is she just sitting there and watching her dad go to hit her brother? Why does she feel so sick all of a sudden? Why does her skin-

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Hana snapped her eyes open, cutting her sleep short and waking her up from her food coma, and promptly sat up from her bed and placed her head over the side of the bed before vomiting her guts out.

For some reason she felt sick to her stomach, so sick that no matter how empty her guts are she can't throw up the disgusting substance inside of her.

Her throat burned slightly from the bile in her vomit, and she looked down the side of her bed to see the massive mess she'd made of the food she'd previously eaten. She needed to clean up, she can't just leave it there. Ryoto shouldn't have to clean up after her when she does things like this, he's done enough for her already.

She got up from her bed, being careful to avoid the throw-up, and onto her feet as she entered a nearby bathroom, hoping to find a cloth to clean up her vomit.

What was that dream just now? It felt so real and vivid, like she was actually there, like she was actually struck. Everything from the tears, the pain on her cheek, and the endless guilt she felt in that moment when that strange man- her father, she can't remember that though- appeared. Her head felt like it was spinning, and her nerves all felt extremely sensitive to the point where-

She stumbled and very nearly fell over on the smooth floor of the bathroom, but managed to reach her hands out and balance herself on the room's sink. She instinctually prepared to fall, due to 'Decay's' effects... but nothing happened. Because she didn't have her Quirk right now.

That thought somehow made her both happy and sad at the same time. She was happy that the itch she always felt was gone, must have been due to her Quirk, but she was sad that she was Quirkless, at least right now. Even if Nana could begrudgingly agree to do what Ryoto says for the sake of getting their Quirk back, and Hana was fine with doing what he said because he was nice to her, she still wasn't entirely sure of her situation. She was at the mercy of a stranger- one who showed kindness to her when no one else did- one who is immensely powerful- he had you at his mercy and could've done whatever he wanted to you earlier, yet when you were free you still chose to straddle him, because you were lonely and he was giving you the attention you needed- and she has no idea what-

Beautiful.

That's all she could think of when she stared up from the sink and into the mirror. There was a beautiful woman with icy blue hair and red eyes. She was pale, she was decently tall, she had vibrant red eyes, a slight scar on her neck which was the only flaw on her flawless complex of smooth skin, and a curvaceous figure that would make a large fraction of the female population jealous.

She also looked just like her grandmother with a beauty mark on the right side of her chin. It was her.

Looking at her reflection Hana couldn't help but admire herself a little. She looked like a whole different person from when she was just wandering aimlessly through the streets of Japan. She wondered if 'Decay' was all that stopped her from looking like this all along, because it is amazing what just a bit of skin care can do for a person. Just touching her bare arm felt incredible and soft, in stark contrast to the dry and cracked sensation that usually accompanied trailing her hand over her body.

She felt good, great even. 

She also looked a lot like that woman in the photo. If her eyes were grey and her hair was black then she'd basically be a carbon copy of that woman even. That was just how much they resembled each other.

Hana stared closely at the mirror and trailed the beauty mark under her chin with tenderness, she looked like a different person from the street trash she resembled just... the day before? She has no idea how long she was asleep for to be honest, maybe once Ryoto gets back she'll ask him when she can get her Quirk back... if she even wants it ba-

(In the back of her mind the other her- Nana Shigaraki- suddenly burst into consciousness very loudly and suddenly. Her violent and vicious half momentarily took control of their body only for Hana Shimura to take it right back as the little bitch challenged her to a battle of wills, she won that of course but for some reason she couldn't get rid of her other half no matter how hard she tried, it was like the two of them weren't actually different people it was like fighting herself and no matter what she did the brat just wouldn't-)

An arm planted itself on Nana's shoulder and her mental war was put on pause as she whipped her head around and raised her hands defensively, but when she turned around her caution proved itself to be unnecessary since the one who layed a hand on her was none other than the man who layed her into bed himself.

Ryoto wore a concerned expression on his face as he asked with worry sewn into his voice." Hey, you alright? You were looking into the mirror for like five minutes, and that was after I arrived here. Is something-" 

He was cut off when Nana suddenly threw herself at him and wrapped her arms tightly around his chest as a huge surge of uncontrollable emotions surged up inside of her... but they seemed to calm when she touched him. It was like when she put her family's hands on her face, but none of the uncontrollable disgust that was attached to that calmness. Her minds war, her despair, her guilty... it was all gone.

Ryoto, however wasn't really sure what to do with her actions, but in the end he just decided to hug her back, not really knowing what else to do. His Quirk 'Empath' was telling him that being with close contact with him made her very happy. So, he just kept her close with the idea that she'd let go eventually.

But, Nana didn't actually feel like letting go of him. Her mind was a battlefield for personalities to fight for dominance, she was switching between the two of them so rapidly that she wasn't even sure who was in control. Hana Shimura or Nana Shigaraki. The traumatised young girl or the broken and confused woman. She had no idea which one she really was. Clinging onto him didn't help her confusion... but the pain stopped. Her mind became that little bit calmer and she knew that if she let go she'd be dragged back down into that underwater battle where she was constantly gasping for air, her head splitting open as she did her best not to succumb to the insanity of her mind being at war with itself.

She didn't want to let go.

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You know I literally just left for about an hour to make a call to talk with my 'man on the inside' if you will, and what do I come back to? 

I walked into the bedroom where Nana was currently sleeping, fully expecting her to be lying in bed, sleeping like a baby. Instead I was greeted with the sight of a messily made bed that indicated that Nana had woken up, and the rather disgusting sight of a puddle of puke down the side of the bed. Well, it looks like someone wasn't feeling too good.

I frowned at the sight and smell of the room. This won't do, I might not be a germaphobe like Overhaul was, but that doesn't mean I like living in filth like this.

I approached the pool and used a Quirk called 'Hydro-kinesis'. It essentially allows me to control any liquids that are around me within ten meters, this would actually be an extremely overpowered Quirk if I could control the liquids within another person's body. Unfortunately this Quirk doesn't work on blood. It's still useful though.

The puddle of vomit was being telekinetically lifted up by my mind, I then quickly opened up a window and threw the nasty stuff outside. I then touched the floor and used 'Overhaul' to quickly disassemble and reassemble the floor. Now perfectly clean and vomit free.

Ahhh, the conveniences of having so many Quirks.

I finally turned to the woman, who I'd sensed long ago but chose to prioritise cleaning up the mess in the room first, that had been staring at the mirror in the room. Using 'Empath' I could clearly see that something was going on inside of her mind, her emotions were going haywire and her mind looked... unstable. There were tears leaking down her face. Was- was she okay?

I walked up to her and tapped her shoulder, the instant I did that she sprung into action and she brought her arms up in a defensive manner. Her eyes said it all in that moment though, the instant she stared at me with her crimson eyes I could only think of one emotion that was stored in her eyes.

She looked unstable.

"Hey, you alright? You were looking into the mirror for like five minutes, and that was after I arrived here. Is something-" I didn't even get to finish my sentence before she threw her arms around me and brought me into her embrace.

The hug was... comfortable. She was cuddling me tightly and had her neck buried into my chest as she seemed not to react to the world around her. It was very strange to know that I had such a large effect on this girl, she was clinging to me like a snake who coils around it's prey. Of course I was enjoying the physical contact too, for obvious reasons.

"You know, when I first met you I didn't peg you for the cuddly type. You're quite affectionate aren't you?" I commented on her rhetorically and she blushed, but didn't stop crushing me to death in her arms, or pulling our chests closer together. If I focused hard enough then I could even feel the slight nubs of her nipples pressing against my chest.

Trying to get my mind out of the gutter I distracted myself by asking her genuinely." Is something wrong, Nana?"

In response the girl just remained silent. Not willing to talk." Hey Nana, I asked if something was wrong, you were crying and-"

"I'm fine." She answered by looking up and forcing a smile onto her face that was honestly just hard to look at." You don't need to worry about me. Just, please, keep holding me." She said that last part with something akin to fear in her voice. She was afraid, I didn't need a Quirk to know that.

Still though, we couldn't just stand still.

Nana briefly looked down, but that didn't last long. I took my fingers and placed my index finger and thumb under her chin to make her keep her head up and look me in the eyes.

I felt a mischievous grin tug at my lips and gave her a brief warning before I took action." Well, how about we change positions?"

That was all the warning she got before I grabbed the upper half of her thighs. I found it impossible to ignore the sensation of my hands partly sinking into the flesh on her legs. I found myself enjoying the squeal she let out at my scandalous actions, but she was given little time to rest as I raised her up so that our faces were on even levels. With this I could carry her around the house whilst she could keep hugging me. Everybody wins.

Especially me.

"What are you doing?!" Nana exclaimed with a face that lit up bright red at the extremely suggestive position we were currently in now. But, despite her protests, she didn't lessen her grip on me in the slightest. If anything she was just holding me tighter now.

"Well you told me not to let you go, but we've still got to move around. This is my solution." I explained simply, completely unaffected by our current positions. Unlike her.

Nana opened her mouth to complain... only to close it and just settle for looking away from me and simply asking." Do we have to be in this position though?"

"Yes." I answered simply. I wasn't going to give a reason why, that should be obvious at this point. 

I'm not going to let her cling to me all day, as that would be unhealthy, but I didn't mind indulging her and sweeping her up into my arms. It wasn't as though this was horrible for me, quite to the contrary actually. Nana was a beautiful girl and holding her like this was a pleasant experience for me. I wasn't going to actually have sex with her- not with the way she is now anyway- but I was fine with teasing her and watching her reactions.

I just wonder if she'll get used to this, because I sure could. Too bad we're going to be separated soon.