The Ted Steel Holiday Update You Didn't Want

Greetings, Player Manager fans! My holiday is going amazing. I have had zero arguments with my family. They are wonderful people. Ignore the weird blinking I am doing. This message is coming of my own free will.

Please enjoy this photo of 'The Tower of Ted' also known as 'Maxatomi Plaza'. It is the world's most concentrated collection of Player Manager paperbacks, some of which will be sent out in the form of stupidly expensive signed copies!

Shrinkflated Curly Wurlies for scale.

Please also enjoy this photo of my actual wife! Wearing a West Didsbury and Chorlton bobble cap! Sent via my cousin who did the first ever real-world PM scouting. Scouting 20, buying merch 20. His name will be long remembered! Except I haven't said his name. Bit of an oversight there.

Finally, for people who like to learn about British culture via this series... let's analyse the swag my family brought me.

I asked for one packet of 'squashies' because they came up in my research and I'd never heard of them. So of course there are 20 bags of something I'll probably hate. One, mate! One! (Thanks, though.)

Three packs of jaffa cakes - 10/10 choice. Three mini double deckers. Yes, please. One pack of Lemsip for when I get hangovers. For once, people brought me actual branded Lemsip and not some random junk. So that's another plus. Yorkshire Tea - wow. Mega. (Genuine thanks this time.)

Some biscuits. Hmm. They look a bit 'old person biscuit' but they might hit the spot on a rainy day. Big tub of Celebrations. They sell those here. They sell them in every country on the planet. It's like 5 kilos of the crap, lugged around in the suitcase, making life miserable for hard-working writers who offer to carry the cases. Finally, some of those socks that don't cover the ankles. I have never worn them, ever, and didn't ask for socks (I live in a country where, remarkably, socks are available), so of course that's the first thing my mum thought to bring, and to my shame, I couldn't keep the disgust off my face. (Thanks, though.)

Good news is I wrote half a chapter before they arrived and it won't be too much work to finish it off. And during the hours they've told the same story for the third time that day my mind has gone freewheeling, thinking of Max and what he might be getting up to.

Coming soon - the next chapter!

Coming soon - some signed copies of the book. Not every copy that arrived here could be called pristine, but most look in decent shape.

Also coming soon - a week-long sugar coma.