Your Bodyguard Finds out You're Su***dal

Trigger Warning! ⚠️ Talk of Suicidal Ideation

I wrote this script after a marathon of bodyguard asmr rps. I had the thought, what if the listener didn't want to live? I wasn't sure it was going to come out well since it was a rough topic. But I thought it handled the topic well. At the very least I did my best. And that's all we can do, right? Our best every day. 

Your Bodyguard Finds out Your Suicidal

Sounds needed: car sounds

Hello guests! It’s a Resting Place. Quick disclaimer, this audio tackles some darker topics including suicidal ideation, so if this will trigger you, please click off and listen to something else. Also, if you’re struggling, please reach out to someone you trust. Stay safe, take care of yourself, and enjoy the audio.

~

Would you like to tell me what that was all about?

~

I thought we discussed this. While you have a hit out on you, you can’t go to public places. That includes the library!

~

I don’t care that there was barely anyone there. That’s beside the point! You vanished behind those bookshelves for far too long. Someone could have walked up and shot you just like that! There are so many places for someone to hide, or for someone to put a bomb! Did you think about that?

~

There is so much money on your head I wouldn’t put it past them.

~

If you wanted a book, you could have got it online!

~

Ok, true, it’s not the same as a physical copy. But you could have sent someone to get it! Your family is so rich, I’m sure you must have a servant or someone who would do that for you.

~

What do you mean, you wanted to get outside? You never want to get outside!

~

Actually, now that I think about you, this is the first time you’ve been outside in a long time. Usually, you stay in your room. Which is getting pretty messy lately, I’ve seen it. I understand you wanting to get out and let someone get in there and clean. No offense, but you haven’t been the most tidy person of late.

~

No energy to clean? Yeah, I get that, trust me. You should have seen my room back at the Academy. My roommate hated me.

~

Did you get the book you wanted, at least?

~

Good. Now that we’re out… you want to get some food?

~

Hey, I got woken up in the middle of the night to the alarm on the front door going off, only to find you in the library across town, the only one in the area open at this time of night. All this chasing you around has given me an appetite.

~

Yeah? What do you want to get?

~

I don’t care, you pick.

~

Cool, let’s go get that then. I think there’s one around here somewhere.

~

Seriously tho, kid. You bewilder me sometimes.

~

I mean, you lock yourself in your room for days, even weeks on end. When I check on you, you’re either in bed or pushing yourself to work on something you’ve admitted you don’t want to be doing. Why do you do that, anyway? Is it just to feel like you’ve accomplished something?

~

I don’t think you’re lazy at all. I think you work very hard. But that’s beside the point. The point is the vast majority of the time you’re cooped up in your room. Which is great for me, makes my job so much easier. But there are times that you vanish suddenly, and I’ll find out on the streets or in a store, or once at that concert! It’s like you do it just to annoy me.

~

Then why? Why suddenly break your self-induced quarantine to go to these crowded places? I get it can be boring in your room sometimes, but all you’d have to do would be tell me, and I’d escort you safely wherever you want to go! The whole sneaking off to someplace crowded thing is seriously dangerous.

~

I’m being very serious! While this hit is out on you, your family has hired me to keep you safe. I can’t do that if you don’t tell me when and where you’ll be galivanting off to!

~

At least this one was a nice, quiet library. But let’s look at some of the other examples, shall we? You went to that party, which could so easily have gotten you killed. Anyone could have snuck past your drunk friends and taken you out. Or even drugged your drink! And you went to that rally downtown. Fair enough, it was a good cause, but still! Hanging in a crowd of several hundred people walking down a busy street? A sniper could have oh so easily taken you out from a building.

~

What was that?

~

I thought you said something. Something like, “if I could be that lucky?”

~

No, you didn’t say anything? Ok resume rant. Let’s not forget about the time you took your dog on a walk. Just down the bustling street. As if you didn’t have a care in the world. Again, sniper? Does the word sniper mean anything to you?

~

And that time you decided to just take a taxi to the café. There could have been a bomb in the taxi or drugs in your hot chocolate. And that could have been entirely avoided if you would have told me! I would have taken you and made sure anything you got to eat, or drink was safe! That is my job after all. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if you want some hitman to take you out.

~

Hey. Kid.

~

Do you realize what you just said.

~

No, that was serious. What did you mean by that.

~

What you just said that you do want someone to take you out.

~

Kid?

~

No, we’re going to talk about this. Here, we’re at the restaurant. I’m parking in the parking lot.

~ Parking Sounds

We’ll get the food in a minute. Right now, we need to talk.

~

Are you ok?

~

First things first, is there anything I can do to help right at this minute. Besides, getting food, which we’ll do in a sec.

~

Do you want an awkward reaching across the car hug?

~

Ok.

~

Now. Did you mean that… what you said or was it like a quip or something.

~

Hey. You can talk to me. It’s not your folks or anyone. It’s me.

~

I’m sorry you feel like that. Do you need me to take you to a doctor?

~

Alright. Let me know if that changes at all, ok? I’m happy to help you get some help if you want it.

~

Ok. Now… do you want to talk about why you’re feeling that way?

~

It’s ok if you don’t, that’s totally fine. I’m always here if you want to talk.

~

Sure, I’m your bodyguard. It’s my job to protect you from everything, and that includes yourself. I’ll fight those intrusive thoughts any day, if you’ll let me.

~

Anyway. I’m sorry. I can imagine the excruciating pain that you’re going through right now. If there’s anything I can do to relieve any of that pain, please let me know. Or, if not me, someone.

~

What do you think you need to help you feel better? Therapy, a really close friend, maybe love and attention? Getting away from it all, like a trip? Or do you think nothing will help?

~

I understand. Something somewhere out there can help you. And I hereby take it upon myself to get you that person or thing or take you to that place. But safely. Keeping you safe is the priority. Even when it’s not a priority for you.

~

Though, I would appreciate a little heads up about your late-night adventures. Then we could go on them together.

~

I want to be here for you when you need me, kiddo. Do you think you can let me do that? Can you let me be there for you?

~

Ok. Why don’t we get you some food, then back home. We can sit and read for a while. I’ve got a to-read list that’s longer than the Nile, it’ll give me an excuse to start chipping away at it.

~

Sounds good. Let’s go.

~ Car door Sounds