Soft Boy Protection Squad Script

This script I really liked. I'm in a ton of fandoms and every one seems to have a softy who just needs love and protection and to be hidden away from the world and nurtured. So I wrote in my favorite fandoms. I was hoping I'd find people like me who wanted to protect the small boys of the fandom universe. The video didn't get many views and might have been too strange for some people. But I have hope. I'll find my people eventually. 

Enjoy the script. 

Soft Boy Protection Squad [Club Meeting] [Fandom Talk] ASMR Roleplay

Sounds needed: Group noise

Group Noise

Alright, settle down, everyone, settle down. Thank you all for coming to this meeting, if you'll take your seats, we'll get started. I'd like to start. If you'll look over there at that back table, a representative from the Hunger Games fandom brought some snacks, snacks as in food not Peeta or Gale even tho they are snacs, so if you want something to eat, go ahead and grab it now. I think the Percy Jackson fandom donated some blue marshmallows which are especially delicious so grab some of those.

Pause

I know we've all been very busy in our various fandoms, but this being an important meeting, I would like to thank you all for pushing aside your busy schedules and attending. I know there's also an intro-to-shipping meeting going on later tonight, so if you have to leave early that's perfectly fine, just sneak out.

Pause

Is everyone ready? Alright, we'll get started. If you'll direct your attention to the screen, you will see that today we're going over the basic qualities of every soft boi. I'm sure you all know this, but this is to review for some of our newer members. Feel free to interject at any time with anything I've missed. Ok, Quality one. Fluffy hair. It is a necessity. Petting is required. Quality two, stuttering. Even if it's just a bit of nerves, it is adorable, and we need it.

Pause

Yes, did you have a question.

Pause

Yes, I would say shyness counts as stuttering, even if there isn't a vocal stutter, I would count things like avoiding eye contact, shifting their weight from foot to foot, fidgeting, things like that. And remember, this isn't an exhaustive or all-inclusive list, some sub species of soft bois are very confident, these are just basic signs you can look for in the wild. Does that answer your quesetion?

Pause

Alright, very good, moving on.

Quality three, a tragic backstory. Anyone and anything that hurts our soft bois must perish. As members of the Soft Boi protection squad, it is our job to take these tragic backstories and turn them into a horror movie for anyone who hurt our bois.

Pause

To be clear, this squad does not condone or support any illegal activity, but we're not doing anything to stop you either, so there's that.

Pause

And, yes, I realize we have a very difficult job in the fandom. Protecting the soft bois is not for everyone. Sometimes they're just bound and determined to get themselves killed or sacrifice themselves for the rest of the group. But It is a very important job that we've assigned ourselves. The soft bois need to be protected.

Pause

Ok, moving on to your group fandom assignments. We'll just check in with the representative of each fandom. How has everyone been doing?

Pause

Ok, that didn't sound encouraging. Maze Runner fandom, how've you guys been doing.

Pause

Oof. Ok, not the best then. Would you like to spend the rest of the meeting in the greiving room, watching sad edits and eating ice cream?

Pause

Yes, you are dismissed.

Pause

Anime fandom, any updates from your group?

Pause

Wow, there's a lot more of you than I expected. Are you guys... ok? Have you touched grass recently? Moving on.

Pause

BTS fandom or... army I believe. Hey, guys, not a word, alright? Soft bois come in all fandoms. They're not just fictional characters. BTS army?

Pause

Thank you, BTS army. You're doing good work.

Pause

Harry Potter fandom, how are you guys doing? Taking care of Neville, are we?

Pause

Good, good. Thank you, Potterheads.

Pause

On to the MCU, Marvel fandom. You all have a very long list of soft bois to protect. I know Infinity War was hard on your soft bois, but most of them are alright now, right?

Pause

Anything more we can be doing to support you? You have the highest number of soft bois to protect, do you want some backup or anything?

Pause

Ok then, good work, and moving on. One Direction...

Sigh

Pause

Why are the Directoners here those soft bois can take care of themselves. Moving on!

Pause

Disney oh great. Um yeah Disney, how're you guys holding up.

Pause

Yeah, not sure what to do with you guys, really. You're either children or crazy disney adults so... Why are they here again, who let them in. Nevermind, love ya Disney people ok moving on.

Pause

Narnia fandom! I believe we were having a debate about whether or not to adopt Edmund as a soft boi, where did we land on that?

Pause

Ok and what about Eustace? After he became nice, is he a soft boi now?

Pause

Ok, noted. Thank you, Narnians. Star Trek fandom, star trek fandom... wow I didn't know there were any Trekies left, goodness. Um.. how're you guys? We adopted that Russian kid into the program a long time ago, didn't we? Checkov? How is that lil soft boi?

Pause

Wonderful, thank you Trekies.

Pause

Ok we're running out of time for group assignments, so let's run through the rest fairly quickly. I'll shout out the fandom, and your fandom representative will give me a brief summary of how the fandom is doing. And I do mean brief Lord of the Rings fandom, I'm looking at you.

Speaking of Lord of the Rings, them and the Hobbit fandom, you guys good?

Pause

Awesome ok, Sherlock fandom.

Pause

Oh ok, deal with that later, Supernatural fandom. You guys hanging in there?

Pause

Ok, and a quick reminder, anyone is welcome to join the Maze Runner fandom in the grieving room, we did just install a new VR room where you can hang out with you characters and forget any untimely deaths every happened. And with that, we'll end with the Videogame Fandom. This includes a lot of games, I know, but we've lumped you all together because sometimes the rest of us don't understand how emotionally invested the games you are. You are entirely valid and we know you're doing good work here for the soft boi protection squad. How're you guys doing?

Pause

Wonderful, thank you Videogame fandom. Alright, that's all the time we have for group assignments, I apologize if I skipped a couple fandoms, there are a lot. Come up and give me your group reports after the meeting, and I'll write them down in the log. But for now, we've got to move on to our motions for today.

Pause

As a reminder, any member of the Squad can put forth a motion for the squad to vote on. We have votes at the end of every month. Today we're going to run through a couple motions since we've received so many. So I'll read out the motion, signify your support by saying 'aye', apposed signify by saying 'nay' If we need to debate the issue, signify by raising your hand.

Sound good?

Pause

Great, first motion. This member moves to include one Draco Malfoy in the soft boi protection squad. Do we need to debate, or can we move to vote?

Pause

Does he qualify as a soft boi, though? Let's go through the checklist. Is his hair fluffy?

Pause

Ok, does he stutter?

Pause

No I don't think "pottah" counts. But he does have a tragic backstory, so I can see how this member wants to include him. Alright, all in favor of adding Draco Malfoy to the protection squad, say 'aye'

Pause

All opposed say 'nay'

Pause

Motion carried. Harry Potter fandom, please assign some members to protect our newest soft boi.

Pause

Next motion. This member moves to have a subsection of the squad for soft girls and soft theys. While I appreciate the inclusivity, those clubs already exist. If you'd like to transfer to the Precious Protection Club which specializes in soft girls or the Tenderhearted They Protection Army which specializes in the nonbinary and alien, I can happily transfer you, just come meet with me after the meeting. You can even transfer to the Hard Boi Protection Club. This Squad, however, focuses only on soft bois. So, motion voided. And I think that's all the time we have for this meeting. Real quickly, I wanted to point out that we had a couple new characters enter the protection program last week, many of them aren't from established fandoms. They are, in fact, new characters created by other ASMR artists so if some of you could volunteer to protect those soft bois, I would appreciate it.

And that's it for today! Thank you all for coming. Please don't let the dragons from the How to Train Your Dragon fandom scare you on the way out, they're perfectly friendly. Also, Back to the Future guys, you parked in the Ghostbuster's parking spot again. Better go fix that or they're releases some big ghost in your car. Oh, and, Stranger Things fandom we need to talk about the most recent season, so if you could stay behind.

Thank you all for coming. Farewell and good luck on your missions. Long live the soft bois!