Idealized Part 10 - Panels 001-019
Added 2022-06-19 03:00:02 +0000 UTCEvelynn demands an explanation.
Comments
This is INSANELY BRILLIANT... (Moss approved) β£οΈ
MaggieHeels
2022-08-01 18:07:09 +0000 UTCFixed panel 19, changed panel 8 too, but reworded it a bit. Thanks!
From the Files of Robin Harper
2022-06-19 15:31:25 +0000 UTCThe whole purpose of this chapter is simply horny :) Or rather it was, until I found a use for keeping future Evan around a bit for Book 2
From the Files of Robin Harper
2022-06-19 15:28:44 +0000 UTCDefinitely not less intense, but having Evelynn's ideal man around might help her get in the mood :p
From the Files of Robin Harper
2022-06-19 15:28:04 +0000 UTCThanks for the catch! It's always good to have a second pair of eyes catch those little mistakes.
From the Files of Robin Harper
2022-06-19 15:26:36 +0000 UTCI was fully expecting there to be some much more serious reason for Evan to come back from the future, and the threesome would just be a bonus. I kind of love that it was only and entirely for reasons of Horny π
Alyson Greaves
2022-06-19 10:12:04 +0000 UTCA couple other of potential improvements for the dialogues (in addition to the correction of panel 13 as outlined by TomΓ‘Ε‘): panel 8 "future self (...) from the future" is a bit heavy sentence, I think it reads just as well when removing the final part, for example "So you were so desperate for some dick tonight you pulled my future self back here?". Also very minor, panel 19 can probably get rid of the comma before the ellipsis at the end "right in front of me, ..." --> "right in front of me..."
Disbet
2022-06-19 08:15:06 +0000 UTCThreesome is less intense than lesbian experience? ...weird, but maybe makes sense if Evan and Evelynn really are each others ideals... Curious to know how many iterations of time loop was needed to get this right :D Also - I know it is a saying - but: "Hold your horses"? Does Evelynn suspect that Evan has more than one horse-cock in his trousers (thanks to Robin's magics) ? :D
punarotta
2022-06-19 05:38:24 +0000 UTCpage 13 found mistake : and the she has the never to bring a man into the equation? , and then she has the nerve to bring a man into the equation? shouldn't it be like this? Amazing story though, like it very much.
TomΓ‘Ε‘ BlΓ‘bol
2022-06-19 04:48:06 +0000 UTC
