PATREON EXCLUSIVE: What Is The Difference Between A High Quality Woman And Pedestalization?

I thought about this and have to agree. Then I asked my husband if he would ever describe me as his soulmate. He thought for a moment and said “no, because I don’t like that word, it’s too….” He couldn’t articulate why he didn’t like the term but I understood and agreed. Thinking of someone as a soulmate seems to give people license to ride out that feeling of infatuation and ignore the fact that relationships require active work.

Well said, Alexander! I have a really good way of figuring out if it is a "high-quality woman" (I use the term secure usually but for sake of this video I will use your terminology). Ask the guy if he has feelings as if she is his soulmate, I ask guys this all the time and they usually say yes. That is when you know it is a proper infatuation. I tend to tell them there is nothing to be ashamed off with having an infatuation, it tends to be a really good feeling and it makes you feel alive but I try to ground them and tell them that their brain is lying to them and that it is actually unhealthy. We normally end up getting into a big discussion about the toxicity of the myth of soulmates and twinflames and how they actually result in justifying abuse in some ways as online they talk about twin flames as having stages where they are mean and push their twin flame away. It actually promotes toxic behaviour and gives hope to the other "twin flame" that it is part of a special, spiritual process.

Alisha

AG, over the course of the past few years of consuming your content, I think I've come to realize what a candidate definition of a "high quality woman" that is objective and useful to pretty much every guy could be! It would be a woman with whom you have a proven record of good conflict resolution. Conflicts, ups, downs, slaloms or what have you are inevitable....when things are going good, it's all fine. But it's when things go bad, as they eventually will that truly tests conflict resolution and this is what will keep you together. Of course, this is still subjective in that a woman who is compatible with a man in terms of conflict resolution may not be compatible with another man in the same regard but despite this subjectivity, the definition provided above is still objective in that everyone can use it. This is what I have gathered anyway, it was hard for me to properly pin down the definition of "high quality woman" as it seems so subjective and nuanced but this is the simplest and most accurate deifnition I can provide. But one thing I know for sure is that the pedestalization problem vanishes when people start using this definition to see if the one they are pedestalizing is indeed high quality or high quality potential.

Ashwin Srinivas