PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Advice For A Mid 30's Women Who Still Wants To Find A High Quality Man

Well, I got a 8 years younger good-looking guy (altough appearance wasn't too important for me and he is not a chad, I don't like that type) but many people thinks I look like I'm in my twenties before they know my age so maybe it was easier for me... I don't know how often it happens either but we very rarely get negative reactions from our environment.

Liandra

That would be really useful.

Liandra

You are definitely not a woman of low quality, not even close! You are so intelligent, self-aware and brilliant. Don't let anyone tell you that you are less! xxx

Alisha

I recommend that Alexander give advice to women for 2 reasons.  First, I've found that a lot of his advice to men can often be transferred to women, especially any time he talks about self improvement. Second, he is coming at these subjects from an evolutionary biology/psychology perspective. Many of those concepts really resonate with me, and I think they might for other low quality women, too.  I'm sure I've said this before on another video: to recognize yourself in his videos is strangely validating. Sort of like a mirror that was steamed over and he just swiped his hand on it and now you can see your primitive self perfectly clear.  I don't agree with all his advice all the time, but it's definitely a point of view women should take seriously.

Jennifer Coopman

I have a respect to Rollo Tomassi and agree with him on most of the points, but if he really said that, he was simply wrong. Woman always tend to date man little older than her. In 20 they want a 23-25 guy, at 35 they will look to a 37-40 man. A good looking woman in her 30s or even late 30s feel quite confident on a dating market. There are still a lot of men willing to date her. Even for a fat and average women there are huge number of frustrated men willing to court them. I'm in my early 40s now and dated couple of years ago. 34-36 girls are what I matched on tinder. Almost no girls in their twenties apart from obvious gold diggers and professionals. So I don't buy all this "hit the wall" staff. Women on average are doing much better than men in every age group. Actually I have a feeling that "the wall" hits men much harder. Chance of older woman date younger man could be no lower than vice versa in modern society.

I think many women hold on to this idea that inspite of their age they can still get a young attractive male because there are some famous examples of this happening. E.g. Yoko Ono was in her mid 30s when she met John lennon who was in his late 20s as a rock star. she essentailly married a high status male who was nearly 10 years younger then her it was also her third marriage. Meghan Markle married Prince Harry when she was in her mid 30s and Harry was a few years younger then her. I know other examples of women who married high status men 10 or so years younger then her. but i'm not sure how common it is. with examples like this, I think women still hope they can get lucky if they play their cards right even if they are in their 30s and 40s

T

According to rollo tomassi, at age 35 a woman’s relative sexual market value is 2/10, wheres a man at the same age is a 10/10. If they’re fat and have a below average face it’s effectively a 0/10. Realistically, they would have a better chance of creating a long term stable relationship with a man in his 50s or 60s because there would be roughly an equal exchange of value. Most women don’t want to hear this however - they still think they can attract (and deserve) the most desirable men into their 30s and 40s.

I think in principle that applies also to women in their thirties that are in a relationship for about ten years already. Meaning, when they are in their twenties they already have to realise this. And I think that’s a healthy personal development for both. If a girl in her thirties really is still interested in men with the psychological dress of a twentisomething - then that’s why she is single against their will. No men would seriously want to go back to that. I don’t want to be a student again. There is also a reason why men stick with their women in a relationship at higher age - I think an sufficiently intelligent girl gets that in her twenties (I would see this as a check box for “high quality woman”).

haha

Alexander Grace

So a woman in her 30's is like a short man in his... Always

Jimmy Madrigal

My husband and I sometimes get asked for relationship advice. The “what’s the secret” question. Usually we give facetious responses - he says something like “don’t have kids” and I say something like “daily kegels ” to make people laugh. But the truth is, if someone was single in their 30s and asking me seriously, I’d have more questions than anything. Your advice was spot and addressed many of the questions I’d want to ask to try to get to the heart of the matter. How did she get where she’s at? What decisions did she make prior? What underlying values and feelings drove those decisions? What are her expectations? Why? Why now? Why not then? Sooo many questions

AG, coming to whether or not you should make content geared towards women and giving them advice, I think you totally should. Your views are based on rather objective things like evolutionery psychology etc and I think you can make content meant primarily for your female viewers and we guys can just observe.

Ashwin Srinivas

"If it works don't fix it" - and from young women perspective dating indeed do work very well. So I do not blame them. I had seen people who are happily married and are so clueless about dating realities. The only problem "works" is very relative term - if goals and environment shift then it becomes problem. And problem is kinda deep if you have adjusted to the easy, got entitled to expectations and your timer is pretty tight to fix it - problems that young women just do not have (yet).

Ignas

To be honest Alexander's advise is perfectly good for younger women as well. And of course women of any age won't follow it because taking responsibility is not the way they see things. There will be always men which will pay for their mistakes at any time of their lifes. And Alexander is absolutely right. The problem for middle aged women is not in finding a good men. Plenty of them around. The problem is to lower standards and settle with those despicable good guys when Chads are few clicks away. So not the specific problem of middle aged woman.

This is an excellent summary of the logical things that a middle-aged woman could do to acquire a functional relationship with a man... Of course, the other shoe is: most people - and almost no women - think logical thoughts or have functional goals when it comes to relationships. They want someone who makes them feel a particular way. You could use the word "inspires", but you could more accurately use the word "validates", when trying to define what they're looking for. And all of these "standards" that they hold are really just rationalizations as they try to imagine what sort of person might make them feel that way. And in the end, the real rub of the situation is, even when they meet someone who makes them feel that way, eventually the feeling wears off, which is adequate proof that they were "wrong" about that person, or even that they were deceived. You see, the feeling is the payoff, the feeling is the purpose, the feeling is the goal, not some abstract concept of stability, companionship or quality of life. And this why it always fails, and also why fabulous, practical, functional advice goes to waste. We want to assume that the goal is a "happy life", but the real goal is - and always has been - validation.

What you're saying is very unrealistic. You think from a very rational male mind's perspective... while women are a whole lot more emotional. They just "feel" it. And, if she's not evolutionarily feeling it(to feel that strong male attraction) she just won't go for it. You can't ask a woman to rationalise her feelings. So, not sure what the solution is. They're in a pretty dire situation.

I would take a more of an individualistic approach to this topic because everyone is different. I would tell women who are in their 30's to list out all the traits that she finds to be the most important traits in a partner (tall, handsome, athletic, age, humor, masculinity, money, etc.). Rank those traits in order of importance to her. Then look at which traits she is willing to compromise on and to what extent she is willing to compromise on those traits. And lastly, take a realistic look at the probability that those men will reciprocate the same level of interest and whether if she has access to such men.

Suggestion "lower standards" or "compromise" should be changed for more realistic framing "humble yourself".

Ignas