It’s a cloudy day
Added 2025-04-30 15:24:30 +0000 UTCI just want to take the time this morning before I get ready for the day to express my gratitude for folks showing me understanding and patience as I got back into filming shape for YouTube reaction videos.
For a year now I have been in therapy, doing deep healing work, and combating my anxiety.
I don’t know if my anxiety is a condition or something I’ll be free of someday but in the meantime I’ve developed the tools to work with them.
An interesting discovery I made yesterday is that I might have pretty intense OCD.
The day before I did a deep clean and organization of my filming studio and the following day I was able to get back into filming with this intense sense of calm.
I didn’t even realize that my nervous system was so unregulated until I walked into my clean studio. So that’s something for me to explore even further about myself.
Our journey of understanding the world begins with understanding ourselves, but even that is always changing or some things are so buried you uncover things late in your life.
I’ve been on a momentum spiraling up. I wanted to share with you a little of my life off camera. In the image above is my fitness record for April vs January. The green is the exercise bar.
For the past two months now I’ve consistently exercised and gone to the gym every other day, rarely without fail. I only missed once due to being sick. You’ll see in January it was very sparse and the previous months were just as uneven.
I’ve been building consistency in my personal life, and all that has carried me to this moment is the determination of not making the same mistakes again; and leading with love and self compassion.
It’s a hard working world we live in. Sometimes it can feel suffocating. Remember that the world is bigger than ourselves, and if you ever feel suffocated, take a step back and see how big the world is. See how much is truly out of control, and accept and focus on what is within our control.
For me I can’t control my anxiety, but I can control how I respond to it. I can control my health, my fitness, my habits.
I can only hope that my dedication to self compassion can inspire or remind others to do the same.
I hope you all have a wonderful day and let me leave you with a lovely song for today:
‘Dazed & Confused’ - Glen Check
Comments
Thanks for sharing PD! Sometimes it feels easy to recognize that there's a problem but it's so much harder to actually take the steps to overcome or improve it. The inner work you're doing shows in your words and actions and it's been awesome to be along for the journey in a small way. You should be SO proud of yourself!
veryferal
2025-05-02 00:41:08 +0000 UTCI was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder 7 years ago. Initially I was devastated because i thought that meant being anxious every day all day but now i know that working on what helps me and my anxiety has transformed my life. I have episodes but more often than not I am anxiety free. Wishing you the best on your journey
Jenn B
2025-05-01 20:36:34 +0000 UTCcongrats on such a milestone! this post is inspiring me to put on my apple watch and go to the gym more often! i appreciate you sharing both good and not so good personal life experiences with us, its somehow comforting knowing that you go through a lot of the same struggles as me and a lot of others who watch your content ☺️ at the end of the day we are all humans just trying to make it on this floating rock in space 😁
Allo
2025-05-01 12:26:11 +0000 UTCThanks for sharing your progress with us! I have also been struggling for the last year as I've discovered that I have moderate depression and it's in the form of lacking motivation to even do simple tasks or even tasks I enjoy. I've also suffered from anxiety for most of my life and take medication for it and so that has become manageable, but this depression has definitely thrown me for a loop but I'm slowly but surely working through it. So thank you for sharing your thoughts and you saying about how you can only control how you respond to it, is exactly right and I appreciate the reminder. Hope you continue your journey well and even though it will have it's ups and downs, you will come out stronger on the other side!
pseudo93
2025-05-01 05:20:19 +0000 UTCThere were times when I also struggled emotionally, so your words about building your consistency really resonated with me. Just today, in LE SSERAFIM’s newly released video, Yunjin was asked what she would want the first sentence to be if a book about LE SSERAFIM were ever written. She answered: “I was afraid, but I became unafraid.” I, too, have things that scare me right now— but I want to wake through them, one by one, and someday, I hope those things will no longer feel frightening at all. I truly believe you’re in the very process of making those words come true as well. There’s a saying that luck follows courage, and I hope that the courage we show in carrying on with our lives will bring sunshine-like luck to us, abundantly and gently. The song you recommended truly feels like sunshine. And through your content, I’ve received so much comfort along the way. Thank you, truly. I’ll always be rooting for you.
Milton
2025-04-30 23:36:32 +0000 UTCAs someone who has been silently watching since 9th grade (I’m almost 22 now), I am so so proud of you. You were my favorite creator for a good chunk of time, and I’ve recently gotten back into your content. I appreciate you being so transparent with us, especially with your mental health/ personal life. As someone who struggles with similar topics, it’s inspiring to see someone continue to do what they love, even after struggling with things everyone may not see. Pushing through isn’t easy. Dedication and consistency isn’t easy. Just know, we’re all so proud of you. 🖤
Silk
2025-04-30 20:07:19 +0000 UTCThank you for sharing your progress with us. It is really so inspiring to see this big positive change in your life. It's great to know you're doing way better. Exercising is something I'm also trying to do but so far it's very hard for me to be consistent with it. I will also try better, PD! Fighting!!! Also, I hope 82major is in your kulture study reaction list. They just recently had a comeback with the mv TAKEOVER and also you missed their previous comeback STUCK. Both mvs and songs are sooo goood. Love this direction for them
Ugne Jablonskyte
2025-04-30 17:54:58 +0000 UTCSven I’m sorry to hear you’re experience burnout. Having been there… god I know how that feels. I’ve dealt with a painful life but nothing has been worse than burnout. *big hug*
Jet
2025-04-30 17:50:34 +0000 UTCHi 제혁/PD, first of all I just want to say that it is very nice that you are sharing all this with us so that we also know how you are currently in life and I just want to say that you are doing very well and I am proud of you. I am currently recovering from burnout and suffer from anxiety. Before I got this I actually didn't really understand what it meant and why people couldn't just get out of it easily, but now that I have it myself I wish I had never found out. It is hell, anyone reading this who has never experienced it, keep it up. Make sure you have lots of self-empathy, don't be too hard on yourself and definitely don't go past your limits too often. That said, 제혁 you definitely shouldn't go too far beyond your limits for your patreon either. It is your job and you should indeed engage in it, but not overwork yourself. What many of the patreon viewers forget is that it takes a lot of time to figure everything out, edit, upload, handle, rerecord, ... We only see the finished product. I think typing this post also took you at least half an hour. Therefore, it is important that you indeed work time-efficiently and watch/listen to the things that give you energy to continue and not feel forced. Keep up the good work. I'll also give you a list of comebacks from May by DM
Sven Lenders
2025-04-30 16:43:58 +0000 UTC
