Hihi so I’ve been sitting here, all dressed and ready to film.. and I can’t start. I’ve got some kind of mental blockage. Little sprinkle of performance anxiety.
The time away from filming Kulture Study videos has been a bit too long that the idea of filming public for YouTube is stoking my anxiety. Yesterday I woke up incredibly late and couldn’t get any filming done because I was up late for the one NCT WISH video took a long time to do simply because I kept flubbing my words and had to redo the intro multiple times.
Right now I have 15 Kulture Study music videos on my list and just staring at the list is so daunting. It’s like a fear before you jump from a plane to skydive except I have no one to push me.
I also haven’t seen a human being I know in over a month and as an extrovert the isolation of filming is getting to me a bit. I’m meeting with my D&D group tomorrow so that will fill the social cup I need.
Honestly, I can’t force myself to film right now. I’ve been trying and I think it will result in very poor reactions that I’m not satisfied with which will only further worsen my future anxiety.
So I’m going to sort of spread this out. This coming next week nothing is scheduled but I’ll release one or two Kulture Study videos every day or every other day until the first week of May and slip right into the May content releases. I’ll also be filling bonus drop stuff here and there.
I’m sorry for having to delay but I don’t think I can accomplish it this weekend but this is the best compromise I can think of.
What I would LOVE from you guys—bonus drop suggestions. Right now all my bonus drop stuff is like Leemujin Youngjae or STUDIO CHOOM KAI but I can’t do that until the YT videos.
I feel like I need to “warm up” before getting “into the game”. Not just random videos but I’m open to suggestions that you think i would really like or would stoke my passion and creativity! I need a challenge with less performance anxiety pressure, like how Karasuno played against Nekoyama as practice before the actual tournament!
Thanks in advance!
Jeanett Sæther
2025-05-04 18:28:05 +0000 UTCkogarashi
2025-05-03 09:05:33 +0000 UTCOscar Mosto
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