Threadbare...

Hello Flock,

Where to start? This might be a bit of long one, so prepare yourselves. Maybe put the kettle on...

[note - I have also made an audio version of this for those who would prefer to listen instead, it's here]

The inspiration for this blog came to me the other day, when I sat down at the piano, ready to start my practice. As I placed my foot on the pedal I noticed it was freezing cold.

When I looked down at my feet I could see a noticeably large hole in my sock. My favourite socks. Woe is me!

Looking closer I could see there was several holes in the other sock! My poor toes were poking out and looked quite sad. Both socks were removed and alas, put in the bin.

This is a particularly pointless story, but it got me thinking.

I've been feeling for a little while like this pair of socks. Held together but with many holes and broken threads and generally feeling a bit thin. Worn down, no good to anyone.

I feel like I am always on the brink of burnout.

Not just me, but the entire band, and most musicians I know these days, are all really, really, burned out.

How could this be when we barely play shows anymore? As Birdeatsbaby we haven't toured in years, we don't rehearse (as we're not playing shows), and we are not even really writing in the same room at the moment. I'll be lucky if we get a few hours together a month to actually "do" things.

I shall try to explain. On the surface it seems like we've really been progressing. We've been releasing monthly content on patreon. We've been shouting on social media. We've put out a music video (and a pretty awesome one too, if I'm allowed to say so myself lol). Everything appears to be moving forwards.

But underneath this social media flurry is a team of very tired people.

The last few years have been really, really difficult. I don't want to moan, as I love what I do, and I'm so grateful every day to wake up and make music, but I feel like if I can share these things with my patreon/peer community, then it'll be good for my head. I hope you don't mind.

Sometimes it's good to just blow off that negative steam and start again. Or in my case, throw out those old socks!

To give you a bit of the not-so-fun behind-the-scenes - each one of us have had to take on a lot of extra work, just to try and stay afloat financially. Garry and I are teaching/recording/producing/writing round the clock, last month we paid the bills with a music grant, and some equipment we were able to sell. Hana is doing multiple session jobs, gigs, an Etsy store and Anna is now working full time at bell academy, bell studios, as well as running her teaching business, and session work. It's a lot!

While this is all wonderful and music-related stuff, it's barely giving us any time to be truly creative. It's easy to bust out quick song demos here and there, to make quickly put together covers, to send my monthly video content to be edited, but all these things are not particularly creative. They are short, sharp bursts to try and keep the momentum going on very little time/energy.

The time to truly craft, to truly sit for real amounts of time at the piano/notepad feel like they're GONE. I do most of my song-writing in my head while driving, or waiting for appointments, or right now while I'm in the garage waiting for my car MOT.

I know that many of you are feeling the same. It's like the whole world has got less time, less money, less energy, just, less.

Anyway. We carry on. We are still fiercely here, not just as Birdeatsbaby but Hana Piranha, HVIRESS, Dorja, The Chemical Perils, Mishkin Fitzgerald... and doing everything we can to keep the wheels moving on all these projects but right now I am asking you all to bear with us - things have slowed right down for us in terms of what we are able to put out.

So.

That's me done with the negative stuff. Phew. Let's move on because I have some ideas, and with everything that life throws at me, I like to try and see the silver (or grey haha) lining...

I think a little bit of feedback from this wonderful group - yourselves - can come in handy, in how to move forwards. I have some questions, some suggestions, some ideas, so would like to open up the group again as a community where we can support each other...

Here we go.

1 - PATREON TIERS

Since making all the tiers available to all of you, I've had a lot more feedback and comments from the group. This has made me very happy!

It's been wonderful each month to hear from many of you, and keeps me upright, and gives me more more energy than you know!

However - are these tiers a little old? Do we need something new? What are you enjoying? What are you not fussed about? Tell me your thoughts.

For myself - I would ideally like try and finish more of my songs. After all, I am a fucking song-writer! And I'm not finishing my songs.

This makes me sad, so for myself one change I am going to make is to FINISH A SONG EVERY MONTH. I'm going to try and announce the song at the start of the month, talk about it in the livestream and send it over to you guys as an mp3. This will be a challenge for me but I know it'll be worth it. I'm not saying the song will be fully produced, it may even be a crackly demo recorded on my phone, but the point is I will be writing.

Let me know what other perks you'd like to see each other, or perhaps you're not bothered at all and we should do some different every time? I don't know... but what I do know is that market research works, so I will be reading every single comment, and if you'd like to send me some anonymous feedback then I also have an online "suggestions box" where you can say whatever you like!

2 - A COMMUNITY ON DISCORD

Next on my list is I will be integrating Patreon with Discord. This will create an online community space (away from the FB/IG noise) where we can chat, share ideas, dreams, plans, animal pics, lyrics, behind-the-scenes and even voice memos! I'm quite excited as I've only scratched the surface of what we can do there but if you haven't joined the group yet it is now alive-and-kicking and full of content. Here it is.

3 - BETTER LIVESTREAMS + GUESTS EACH MONTH

One thing that is entirely possible is a better livestream experience. I've been doing these for a while and I think while the sound is now spot on, the cameras I'm using are a bit glitchy and could have better resolution. I've found the right cameras so they will be added as soon as possible and I will have a brilliant looking (as well as sounding) webcast each month. I'm thinking of making every third one public, as this can help people have a 'peek' into the patreon experience.

I would also love to have more special guests (I know so many great musicians!) so this is something that will also happen from now on. I've spoken to the band too and everyone is up for joining in when they can too...

4 - WHERE THE MONEY GOES

At the start of each month I might tell you what our goals are, including band expenses. This way it'll be very transparent where the money is going and show you directly how you are helping us to continue as a band.

This was actually a suggestion from one of our top tier patrons - thank you for that.

5 - FUTURE PLANS

Simon suggested that every sixth months we can reassess how everything is going on Patreon, and what our projected releases are so you know what to expect. Looking further ahead it'll also make it easier for me to plan and make advanced content rather than my usual late-minute-cobbled-together system that is running right now.

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Ok, that was a lot! I'm going to wait for feedback from you guys over the next few days and leave it there. I look forward to hearing from you - and if you have nothing to add, that is also fine. I just always want to be crystal clear with you all, this group is the most important thing to us, and helps us sustain our music so it's vital that it is run as best as we can.

Thank you, as always, for supporting us. I am so grateful to have this. I await your ideas and feedback with baited breath.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Love & Feathers,

Mishkin X