The Clubhouse Podcast #97 | Topics Thread
Added 2020-11-18 02:19:16 +0000 UTCHello, you sweet vintage lads!
You guys know the drill, in this thread leave any life advice, stories, or interesting topics (Preferably NOT gaming related, as we have AAP as our gaming podcast). And we respond to those and have a laugh.
The only difference now is that James and I will be sifting through the topics and choosing those we feel most relevant, entertaining and/or topics we have not responded to before/recently.
I hope you are all staying safe and well out there in your corners of the globe. Can't wait for another Clubhouse! See you Monday next week - Tyler
Comments
Hello lads! This week I am going answer your many burning questions from my topic last episode. 1) James I am 17, not 15, and yes I look old for my age. I am 6’2” and work out regularly so I could probably pass for a 20 year old. People usually assume I’m in University when I meet them, so it’s safe so say they think I’m older than 17. I assume this is what hairdresser thought when she decided to pull her moves on me 😂. 2) Tyler, when I told the horny hairdresser I was underage she looked very shocked and began to turn red, so I’m guessing it wasn’t her idea to try to fuck high schoolers. However, she did ask me when I turned 18 to which I did not respond. 3) I will have turned 18 by the time I need to get another haircut so my plan is to go back to that place, and try to get another story for the boys. Any advice on what to do? Thanks lads! I can’t wait for the charity streams, as cancer has taken several people very close to me. Keep up the great content! Much love, Patty
Angel of Harlem
2020-11-20 14:21:25 +0000 UTCGreetings Bosses & Women In this one, me saying the wrong thing at the wrong time is back. So, I was at my mate’s uni flat block again as it had not yet been locked down, and I wanted one more visit before the inevitable happened. We’re chillin, smoking a little weed before we go to a party on the top floor. We show up, suitably fried, and join the party. After a small while, I see a girl sitting alone on the couch looking a bit sad. I was hoping she was sad because she had low self-esteem, she was only a 6 to be fair. A prime target was in my sights. She was as white as paper, no flavours to be seen, I know she could of still been foreign, but it at least narrowed down the possibility of me be a casual bigot. I converse with boys and ask if I should use one of my famous pick up lines like, “Are you a Barbeque? Because I wanna slap my meat on your grill” or who can forget “I’m like a Rubix Cube, the more you play with me, The harder I get”. They told me to just “be casual”, something I don’t really know how to do it seems. I wander over, and my opening line was “What’s got ya down, James Brown?” In an overly cockney accent as well for some reason. Somehow she seemed to find the funny side and said “Oh nothing really”, I asked if I could sit down and she said yeah. I sensed an Australian twang in her accent which is kinda funny. I ask for her name, she says “its Rosemary, but people call me Rose”. So she’s clearly a posh twat with a name like that. She asked my name and I then replied with the line, “They call me Thor, coz I’ve got a big hammer”. Which she kinda just rolls her eyes too. I panic and try to save it, “Nah my name’s Christian, and people call me Christian, nice to meet you”. We then get chatting for a bit, I give her some of my alcohol and I ask again why she looks sad. She then says, “I can’t really say out here, follow me”. She grabs my hand and leads me out of the party and down to her room. I look back at the boys and they raise their arms and cheered and clapped, even the Pharaoh of Fanny clapped together her giant bongo drum titties at my success. Rose unlocks the door, we go in, I turn around to close the door slowly, and when I look back she’s sitting on the end of her bed was weeping in a distressed and innocent tone. I quickly stuff the condom back in my pocket and re-buckle my belt. She didn’t even notice, daft cunt. I sit next to her and she began to tell me how she cheated on her boyfriend to get back at him for cheating on her first, but she feels really guilty. I then say “Ah shit, he sounds like a right prick” and she goes “No he’s not a prick…………. he’s just a Scorpio”. My jaw drops and the fight or flight response kicks in. Do I attempt to smash an insecure star sign believing 6/10? Or do I run for the hills. She says “You understand right?”, I said “I can’t say I do sweetheart”. She then explains about how on paper they’re not compatible because of their signs. She also mentioned something about moons or some shit. She said that cheating on him out of spite is the worst thing she’s done and she asked what the worst thing I’ve ever done was. I panicked because I didn’t know whether to make up a cheating story to try and agree with her in order for me to smash. After some silence I decided to go with the truth, I said “One day, I was bashing my bishop and I spotted a daddy long legs on the wall, and I swatted it off the wall with my nut and it drowned”. I assume that got her so violently moist that she was so embarrassed and told me to leave. My game was too good for that bimbo. Unfortunately, I didn’t have half a Twix bar to offer her so I was powerless in saving the situation, I re-join the party, leaving the bitch to do her Aborigine ritual and summon her Zodiac dark lord or whatever those people get up to. Anyway, you know how it is, I fucked up again, what did you expect, hope you found it funny though, coz I sure did. Have a scrumptious modern day, Sincerely, Mczed
Mczed
2020-11-18 16:53:54 +0000 UTC
