The Clubhouse Podcast #94 | Topics Thread
Added 2020-10-07 08:24:08 +0000 UTCHello, you sweet vintage lads!
You guys know the drill, in this thread leave any life advice, stories, or interesting topics (Preferably NOT gaming related, as we have AAP as our gaming podcast). And we respond to those and have a laugh.
I hope you are all staying safe and well out there in your corners of the globe. Can't wait for another Clubhouse! See you Monday - Tyler
Comments
Hello lads and gamers. I hope you're all doing well and doing some gaming like good gamers should! Well, we all know what this topic is about. It's about the girl who has some how gotten the name "The Witch" (which I absolutely love, you guys are stars). As I said in the last topic, I was hearing some rumours that Kareena was planning on surprising me on my birthday and long story short, yeah she bloody well did. I came in on Wednesday slightly terrified, wasn't in the greatest of moods as I just had English and can't say I'm too happy with my class at the minute. I was kept out of the Year 13 social space by one of my friends, who we'll call Rebecca as that's her name, for around half an hour or so. I was hoping this had nothing to do with The Witch, but she kept convincing me that it wasn't. To my suprise, when she ushered me into the Year 13 social space it was a small "celebration". Just Rebecca, Anthony and another friend, Ellis. I was looking around for her, but she was no where to be seen. I was honestly really surprised at this and I calmed myself down and started to enjoy myself. I was talking to them for around 5 minutes and then she came in. The Witch had gotten some of her friends to sing happy birthday in unison while carrying in huge banner that had a picture of me (That I had not taken, she must've taken it herself without me knowing) and a picture of her, with a love heart in between them. As soon as I saw this I saw red. I really felt like I was going to kill someone. I expected something, but not something like this. After they finished singing, she handed me a card which I promptly threw to the side. She tried to give me a hug but I pushed her aside and went straight for the banner. Around 30 or so students watched me rip this banner from her friends hands and destroy it right infront of her face. She looked shocked and said "That took me ages to make! Why would you do that?!" I stayed silent and just grabbed my bag and began to walk to the entrance. When I got to the door, I heard her say "Which one of yous have pissed my man off?!" and I stopped dead in my tracks. I turned around and just said "If you say that I am your man again, I will report you to the principal and I will make sure you never set foot in this college when I am here." I continued walking out and I over heard her again when she said "He'll calm down, he always does." I was contemplating going back in and giving her a bollocking but I thought I've made too much of a scene and just continued out and went to the Library so she couldn't follow me and make a scene. When I got there I opened up discord and saw the abundance of messages wishing me a happy birthday which instantly cheered me up. I sat there for a good 10 minutes just reading them all. Not too long after Anthony and Rebecca came in to cheer me up, but the lads from the discord had already done that. Well, when Rebecca sat down she started to explain that she did something "stupid". She said that after I left her and The Witch had gotten into a huge argument and that it got so bad that Rebecca, who is probably the sweetest person I've ever met, had smacked Kareena. I was shocked. I couldn't believe she smacked someone for me. I gave her a huge hug and said thank you. She started feeling better and shortly after we caught the train home. End of story you'd think. But no, unfortunately not. The next day (October 8th) I saw her and Rebecca going at it again outside of the local Co-op. The Witch looked so pissed off and she hit Rebecca out of no where. I instantly ran over to her to make sure she was alright and I told her to back the fuck off. She responded with "Get out of the way, this bitch bout to pay for hitting me." I stayed still as she kept screaming at me to move. I looked at her and said "If you touch her again, I will break your nose." She instantly shut up and left. I sat down with Rebecca comforting her, making sure she was ok. She was fine, she's a tough las. As we were speaking Kareena comes up to us but this time she has a group of 5 or so friends. She then went to start on Rebecca to which I pushed her away. She was screaming and shouting like a crazy bitch and then she went to swing at her, so I grabbed her hand and pushed her onto the floor. While she was on the floor she started to cry again, which was just a beautiful sight, and said "You're my man you're supposed to be on my side!" I didn't say anything, I just went to class with Rebecca and left her there with her mates. I don't think this is over, but I think she's finally got the message that I ain't her "man". Well I almost guarantee something is going to happen on Monday, I'd be so surprised if nothing happens. This bitch is just fucking mental. Well that's the end of it for now, I must say this was a lot better than I envisioned it, granted I was thinking of way over the top scenarios but still, that's a win in my books. Just want to say thanks to all the lads for all the birthday wishes and all the messages, really did make my day, especially after that fiasco. Hope the topics this week aren't too boring for ya lads and I hope you got some satisfaction out of this weird couple of days. Hope you are all doing well, I'll be seeing you next clubhouse! Have a good one lads! Jas x
Jas Notta
2020-10-09 23:22:50 +0000 UTCHello my fellow neeks. Hope you’re all doing well and not spreading the kung flu. Today I’m in need of advice, specifically from James. It’ll be short and sweet just like him. Basically there is a bird at work who I believe is a bit too fond of the Fuckboy. She doesn’t do much to hide this fact. There is a reason I ask for help, and I’m not being a cunt for the sake of it, but she doesn’t exactly have the preferred BMI for my ideal partner. Her body most definitely is not a wonderland. Now I know in the age of political correctness “fat” is a term often frowned upon so I won’t use that. But this chunky monkey wobble slob won’t leave me alone. She’s basically been really cringe with me at work leaving me post it notes with weird shit on them singed with what can only be described as greasy finger stains. She’s always leaning over my shoulder seeing what I’m up to. I know she’s there when the room all of a sudden become dimmer. This one time she came up to me, well technically she surrounded me, and knelt down, puts her hand on top of mine and asks me what work I’m getting on with. Her bear paw literally engulfing my hand like it was a ghost and hers was a sweaty Pac-Man with dietary issues. So the advice I’m asking for is; can you think of any creative way to let this girl know I’m not interested. She’s probably been rejected her whole life so I don’t think it’ll work to tell her to fuck off. Need a way to make a statement so she knows. I do kinda feel sorry for her but it’s in my best interest to put a stop to it. Been considering going full Batman and killing her parents, but If she were to eventually become a bat woman or something, the whole world would be fucked. She’d be unstoppable with her ultra appetite being able to chomp through steel and the power to control the tides with her moon shaped physique. The reason I ask for James’ help specifically is because everyone knows he lives for the poontang. He’s the most experienced out of all of us, as he had to softly let down all those egirls gushing over his windswept hair back in the day. So please uncle lazzerz, give me any ideas that could help me get this Sasquatch off my back. Cheers guys, I’m gonna fuck off now and watch jimmy buckets completely daddy lebron #heatnation🔥✌🏻
The Biggest of Boys... Barnesy
2020-10-09 22:37:46 +0000 UTC
