Alright I made the decision to stop using my very old photoshop version and join the Clip studio paint gang togheter with swapping out my computer.
I almost cried when the liquify tool in clip studio was so easy to use and I don't have any lag and the selection tool is so much more responsive.
It's gonna take a while before I feel comfortable to use the new tool but after two test images I feel very confident that this was the right move!