Chapter 685 - Pride in the Burden

I do not sleep in my room at night, even though I have a mattress there. I gave the twins a lot of good things in exchange for it. They had stolen a dozen of them from the Academy. Some demons got their hands on a few as well, which made it really profitable for the twins. In a way, it almost reminds me of people getting gold from natives in exchange for glass bead necklaces.

Still, even with a fancy mattress, I end up on one of the highest branches of the man-eating tree, on a patch where the branches are thin enough to open a view of the night sky.

I receive a question and send back my answer, and soon after, a floating burrito-shaped corgi appears near me and plops down on the branch. This time, Biscuit is in his adult form without antlers. He wears a vest, showing he does not plan to expand in size anytime soon.

The vest is something Izzy made for him with the help of a few women from Dusk Horizon. It is woven from the black threads of a dangerous spider often found in the area north of here. On it, there are embroidered images, colorful and cute. And pockets. A lot of them. Biscuit likes to keep things in them, mainly shiny stones.

"You still don’t want to come to Beyond?" I ask.

From his lying position, he lifts his head and shakes it. (Food.)

That single word contains dozens of sentences interwoven with images, memories, and flashes of scents he is experiencing. As always, in them I look very different from how I see myself in the mirror.

I am not black and white as I would expect, knowing dogs see that way. In Biscuit’s eyes, I look much bigger, and the colors around me are warmer than the rest of the area. Through the shared sense, I feel what he feels when I pet his head, an incredibly soft and gentle sensation. My voice also sounds different, softer and clearer, as if not a single word I said could be missed.

There is much more, but even these surface thoughts, memories, and feelings, all shared in less than a second, would be enough to overwhelm some people and could even kill a normal human outright. It feels crazy when I think about it from the point of view of my pre-tutorial self.

"If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. You know very well I won’t force you," I say.

In answer, he nudges my hand. He continues until I pet him again, while he keeps looking up at me.

"You really should stop playing with that ferret thing, it is creepy."

(Friend!)

"I would rather it was sustenance."

(Asshole!)

"That thing is much worse than me."

Biscuit bites my finger, shaking his head while holding it between his teeth.

"How scary."

(Asshole.)

"Yes, that’s me. What do you want to ask?"

(Happy?) He stops shaking his head and instead looks into my eyes.

I give it a thought, but not for long. "I think I am, and you?"

(Friends. Happy. Food. Happy. Stay. Always.)

"Well, if we want it to stay that way, we’d better take out anyone who tries to mess with it, don’t we?" I say. I notice he put friends before food.

(Fuck up!)

"Yeah, but please don’t say it too often, the others will complain."

His voice turns deeper, the kind you would hear from a dark sky with the distant rumble of a world-ending storm. (Be not afraid.)

"You little jerk, I’m not afraid of them."

(Gone. Weak.)

"Yeah, yeah. Brave words from someone who shows his belly for the smallest piece of deer jerky. Have you met your disciple through your token?"

(Meet. Happy.)

"That’s nice to hear. Hopefully, you can summon him during the 3rd tournament. This one will be spicy, so we will have to be careful."

(Be there. Help.)

I ruffle the top of his head. "Yes, if needed, I will ask."

(Help. Now?)

The words catch in my throat, heavy and difficult to force out. "No need," I manage after a pause. "I can endure this much. The others haven’t noticed, so don’t tell them. Okay?"

He bites at my hand to get my attention. (Friend.)

I take it all in, the sentences, the flashes of memory and feeling. They are warm.

"I know my body is getting more and more fucked up. But I have a plan. Plenty of them actually."

He stares at me for a while longer. (Stay. Together. Always.)

The sound of these sentences is not the same. Each word comes out softer, carried on a voice that sounds weak.

I look at him for a bit before reaching out and slapping his back near his butt, making him twitch and woof in surprise.

He attacks me right away, in a way that makes me wonder if the drool monster demon didn’t learn from him.

***

I return to Beyond feeling refreshed. We set up more plans, well, mostly Tess and the others did. Even though we are not strong enough to avoid being thrown around by much more powerful people, there are ways for us to fight. Soon our time will come too, when we will stand as the top dogs of Beyond, replacing the monsters who already finished their tutorial.

Back in my room in the branch of Primordial Knights, I look at the burned ceiling and wonder what the hell happened here. Did the security lady do that?

So far, there is no one knocking on the door, but I am sure people have been alerted to my presence. While waiting for them, I make my preparations and continue to think.

There is no way for me to hide it from Biscuit, but thanks to my effort, the others from group 4 do not know. Lily might suspect something soon, especially if we want to experiment on my body, and I will not let her. I already have countermeasures for that.

It is silly to hide it, I know. As cliché as it sounds, I do not want them to know. Not because they would worry, but because they would treat me differently. They would try to take some of the burden I put on myself. But my pride tells me this is the right way to go about things. I want it that way.

Maybe in the end, it is not just a slightly selfish act that I force on myself. Instead, it is my pride telling me I can handle it, and I can endure it.

I will continue pushing my body. I will not stop leveling up. I will get my body upgrade soon, which will make these problems worse. My partially unsealed heart. All my constructs that I keep strengthening, and which I have to fix more and more often. My active skills that are too powerful, leveling too quickly for how low my constitution is.

Even then, I feel it is not enough. I can push myself more. I can become stronger.

I will stop raising my constitution, and I will change my restrictive training emblem and burden enhancement inscriptions so they no longer increase it. Just so I can see how higher-leveled active skills affect my body. In the process, I will grasp these skills to a higher degree.

Lissandra said I have five to ten years to come up with a way to solve all of this, and I plan to do it. I will continue running downhill, gaining more and more speed as the slope grows steeper, just so I do not fall.

I hear a sound and watch as a letter slides from under the door. I stare at it for a bit, but it does not explode or burn, even after I do a few checks on it. Taking a few steps, I grab it and read the contents.

Branch leader angry. Security leader angry (more than usual). Weslin and Talon are waiting for you at the foundation of the new base.

The handwriting is one I recognize as belonging to one of Talon’s underlings.

Without hesitation, I move quickly, taking a few of my prototypes and some items. I do not bother with the door. Instead, I reach toward a [Ley Line] I know they have not discovered yet and teleport. I know it will trigger dozens of alarms, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

Outside the guild branch, I use Wraith Dance a dozen times in a row. Some take me only around groups of people, others across entire streets. I channel one after another in quick succession. When I finally come to a stop, I examine my body, pleased to find no damage at all.

Exiting the city-like outpost, I lift into the air and head in the direction of the outpost we are working on. There are a few monsters I see along the way, but this time I ignore them and just continue forward.

In around ten minutes, I reach the place while sending a signal through the small brooch pinned to my shirt. As for my clothes, they are mostly white, like a uniform, with a pale blue shirt beneath. Out of the multiple styles offered, I picked the most comfortable ones that still looked the least formal. The brooch, after receiving my mana, decodes it, confirms it is me, and then activates while sending a single ping of signal towards the others.

This is already the third one I have, since I dismantled the other ones, yet so far, I still cannot mimic how it works, no matter how much I try.

Inside the camp, the ones responsible for security deactivate part of the defenses. I get marked, and after that, I am allowed to pass. There, standing on the edge of the camp, Talon waits for me.

He is waving and smiling brightly. Unlike me, his clothes are more formal and well taken care of. On his back rests a pitch black bow, and the sleeve on his left forearm is rolled up to his elbow, showing an emblem etched into his skin. I know that emblem helps him concentrate, letting him channel his Primordial Stellar Wind and form projectiles from it. It also helps him to create arrows made purely of mana.

"Long time no see, Nathaniel. You look good! I just got complaints from one of our scouts. He said he could barely feel your mana or notice any kinetic energy from you. He only realized you were near when you got close enough and sent a ping."

"Isn’t that his problem?"

"Oh, come on! The guy is trying, and even though he’s a demon, he’s one of the more reasonable ones." Talon waves it off.

He takes me to the edge of the outpost, and only there stops to face me. His voice becomes quieter. "He has good hearing, so don't provoke him, please? Nathaniel, I swear, he would challenge me again if he heard that. I am tired of lunatics trying to fight me the moment I look even a little available. I didn’t sign up for that shit. Every single time, every damn time, the moment I breathe too loud, somebody comes running with that smug demonic grin. ‘Oh, Talon, I’ve been waiting to test myself against you!’ Test yourself? Test yourself on what exactly, my nerves? My patience? My good heart? Because I am fucking getting fed up!"

His voice lowers even more, and his expression twists into something almost as maniacal as some of the demons he is complaining about. "You know how many nights of sleep I have lost already? Do you know how many dinners I had to leave cold because some lunatic thought it was the perfect moment to test themselves against me? I cannot even eat in peace anymore. I sit down with a nice roasted dead fucking bird, and boom, challenge. I sip water, boom, challenge. I sneeze." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "I FUCKING sneeze, Nathaniel, and suddenly I am in the middle of a duel like it is some sacred demon tradition!"

A sudden grip on my shirt pulls me forward, his gaze darting around. When he sees no demon nearby, he shakes me slightly. "And don’t get me started on the bow. Ever since I got it from the Primordial Lunatic treasury, it has been the same thing. ‘Talon, BUDDY, let us see how long I last against your arrows!’ You know how long they last? Ten seconds. Maybe fifteen if they are stubborn. And then somehow I end up being the bad guy because I went easy on them. What do they expect me to do, fucking kill them right away? Do they even understand how many shards I would be fined because of my contract?!"

His grip becomes stronger. "And every time I complain to the branch leader, that asshole just laughs in my face and says: ‘Oh, Talon, that is the price of power, you should be proud!’ Proud?! Proud of what, exactly? Proud that I suffer from mana deficiency because of constant fighting? Proud that my shirt sleeves keep getting ruined in the process? I liked that shirt, Nathaniel! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find one that fits properly?"

After finally letting go of me, he takes a step back. His eyes are wide open, and he smiles far too brightly. "I swear, if one more person tries to ambush me in the bath, I am quitting. I will walk straight into the wilderness and live off mushrooms and grass. They will never find me before I return to my tutorial."

I nod, thinking about giving him advice, but from the look on his face, I can tell he is not interested in hearing any. He just wanted to vent. So instead I ask, "So what happened, and why are the branch leader and security lady angry?"

"Oh, that? The guild currently holding seventh place in the rankings just declared war on us."

***

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