Knight of Wands - Failed Attempt

This is probably going to be a longer post, but there's a ton of stuff that's going around in my head and that I want to say. 

As you can see from the headline, I consider this illustration a failed attempt at the Knight of Wands card. And you, my patrons, are the only ones who get to see it. If you've been here since early 2017, you know that this has happened to me a couple of times before. I start an illustration and feel ok (but not great) about the sketch but assume that I'll be able to fix it in the colouring stage. Turns out I never do and I end up scrapping the whole thing when it's 90% finished. This is what happened here. 

After painting all that metal that was supposed to bring the image together, I still wasn't excited about it. If I'm being honest, I wasn't even excited to begin with. The whole process felt very forced. Like, having to go to work everyday when usually, I can't wait to get to my computer to continue my current illustration. So there was a deeper issue. 

I've been very distracted in the last couple of days by different aspects of my art business. I started listening to more podcasts that talk about branding and products and websites and newsletters and whatnot. And I got so excited to learn about these things and to apply them that I had to force myself to actually do any drawing. Now, I don't consider this a bad thing. It made me remember what I heard another artist say that has stuck with me. I don't remember his name, he talked about "breathing in" and "breathing out" phases in your creative process. Breathing in means taking in information and inspiration, soaking up everything like a sponge. That phase can last for days, weeks or even months. And when you're breathing out, you're taking all of these things and you make art based on them. So maybe I just need to embrace the fact that I'm in my breathing-in-phase right now. And I don't want to kill that passion and interest I have for all those things I mentioned. 

Another reason is the following, and it goes hand in hand with all the things I've been thinking about: The subject matter is not really me. The illustration felt more like client work and not like something I would do on my own. I asked people on Twitter how they would describe my work or what they associate with it and this is what they said: 

light – nostalgic – airy – optimistic/hopeful – comforting/comfortable – natural (nature sounds, summer breeze) – magical – fantastical – soft – organic – dreams – elegant – enchanting – determined – elicate – bright/light – serene – mysterious – peaceful/tranquil/calm – full of story and emotion – realistic yet magical – intricate – fresh – delicate – inviting – ethereal – detailed – mysterious – whimsical – warm – poetic – vibrant – immersive – clean   

And I can absolutely find myself and what I love in those descriptions. But I have a hard time finding it when I look at the illustration above. So, now is the best time to admit it: I don't like painting knights and I don't enjoy armour design. There, I said it. I fugured I could make it more enjoyable by turning it into a female character, but no, not really. 

I liked what I did with the Page of Wands. That guy wasn't a page. I just took the meaning of the card and based the illustration more on a story that unfolded in my head. So, when I'm taking a second shot at the Knight of Wands, I'm just going to do the same. 

Afterall, the image was almost finished when I realised that I wanted to do it over again, so I just went ahead and finished it anyway. The textures in the background and the lighting are a bit more sloppy than I'd like, but it still shows you all the steps of my process. I'll send out the rewards (including the PSD file) tomorrow. 

I'm lucky enough to not discouraged by my failures and I bounce back quite quickly. I just make a plan about what to do better next time and try again. What's your strategy of dealing with failures?