Tough Winter (fanfiction attempt)

Hi hi! I promised myself not to draw any comics this month to rest but I couldn't resist at least one page. I also tried to write instead of drawing all the stuff so here you find the result of this. My English and writing are whatever (as I usually only write for my comics) so please have mercy of this humble attempt :')

Summary: Izuku inherited All Might magic and because of it he became AFO new target. To protect his family and friends he cut all contacts and disappeared, to train his magic and become stronger. Since he left, Katsuki has not stopped looking for him everywhere, very determined to get him back and show him that he doesn't have to fight this battle alone.

Tags: BkDk / Fantasy & Winter AU / Angst / past relationship (as in "they separated but still love each other but there's also a lot of resentment going on")

Deku is running as fast as possible. The snow is slowing him down and making him sweat in his heavy winter clothes while the wolf in front of him gains distance at any leap. Deku keeps screaming at it to stop, he is quite sure he recognised the creature. It has to be Kacchan’s wolf but how is that even possible, when he left for almost two years and hid his traces so well. But if it wasn’t, he’s sure it would have never run away when Deku was such an easy prey.

So it has to be and if he doesn’t stop her she will reach the perimeter of the protective shield around the area and be able to go back to Kacchan, letting him know where he is hiding. He can’t have that, not after all the sacrifices he had to make.

“Stop! Please, come back!” He hears himself beg her. He is too agitated to try to use any magic and force her to stop, his heart beating so loud in his ears he almost can’t hear his own heavy steps in the snow. By now he knows better than to try magic when he is in the wrong set of mind.

They are approaching the thickest part of the woods now, soon he won't be able to follow her well even just with his eyes. Before he can think of any decent strategy, the wolf suddenly turns in the trees and he almost loses track of her there. He turns in the same direction she just disappeared just to freeze in his tracks.

The wolf stopped running too, now standing just a few meters from him. She starts whining, looking at him and then nudging at a figure below her. Deku now notices that there is something … actually someone, laying still in the thick snow with fresh one already covering them.

Deku is panting visibly and he can feel his heart pounding out of control in his chest. Not just for the running, but for the fear which starts to rise.

This could never be… him, right? It cannot be him.

After a few seconds of complete silence and stillness, the wolf lets out another pleading sound, gently nudging the body with her muzzle again. This finally gets him out of his head, and move quickly to the figure in the snow.

“H-hello?”, he asks hesitantly. “Can you hear me? Are you injured?”

Not a single sound comes from the body now at his feet. A strong shiver runs down his back. Not for the cold, but for the dreadful feeling it’s spreading all over him. Now that he is close, he can see clearly the blood spreading around the body, so red in the pure white of the snow.

And that.. scarf is so familiar, the belts he can see wrapped around this person's waist…

“I am going to touch you now, okay?” Deku puts his hands on the person's shoulder and after making sure the other is not responsive or at least aware of what is happening he pulls slightly and turns the body completely to have it face the sky.

The movement sends fresh blood melting the snow, most certainly oozing from the wound on the shoulder, a black arrow still sticking out from it. Deku curses under his breath, his maneuver must have pushed it a bit more through the flesh.

But this is not what drives Deku into panic. He has seen worse wounds and people dying before, this does not scare him. What does is the familiar face that he recognizes even with the scarf tightly wrapped around the nose and mouth of the blond man at his feet. His eyes stay closed, even when he starts shaking him and calling his name. The only indication of him being still alive are the weak clouds forming in front of his mouth.

“Kacchan! Kacchan, wake up! Oh no, oh no no no!” He pulls his eyelids up to try to get a reaction, but Katsuki’s eyes stay unfocused.

“Okay. Okay, now we’ll go back to my hut. Everything will be fine, I need you to hang on me, okay?” He is talking to himself more than anyone else but he needs to hear something, the silence around them is too suffocating otherwise. Deku tried to pick him up by throwing the other arm onto his shoulders but Katsuki is too big and too heavy when completely unconscious, he can’t drag him in the snow all the way to his cabin. He calls back the wolf and she understands immediately what he wants, so she lays down in the snow to make it easier for him to drag Katsuki on her back. He doesn’t really have time to secure them so he hops on behind him and like that the wolf proceeds to move back towards his hut, where he found him just a few minutes back. It’s much slower and it has to be tiring for her too, not used to so much weight, but they don’t have a choice.

Deku is hunched over Katsuki’s body, trying to perceive any reaction, any twitch or jerk to know he is still somehow there with him, but all the way to the cabin there is only stillness.

The three of them burst into his little hut and he drops the wounded man on the floor. There isn’t really any time to show his host qualities right now. He immediately takes off the impending winter clothes from himself and then turns back to Katsuki, to start to assess the damage and elaborate a plan to fix this.

There’s the arrow wound, the wood sticking out of his left shoulder. It went through right about e the cleavage so at least not so close to the heart. But then there’s also a very deep wound in his abdomen, which explains why there was so much blood around him earlier. Deku tries to remove the thick coat as delicately as possible, but they are in a hurry so all he can really do is try not to make things worse.

He is cleaning the wounds over and over but they are bleeding so much, especially the one in the middle section. He has to do something about that immediately or this will be over quite soon. It goes from side to side, a stab wound, most probably from a sword.

Deku can’t really stitch that manually, he will have to use magic for it.

“Come on, Izuku. You’ve done it before. And you will do it again. Just get going.” He holds his hands above that deep bleeding hole and begins to slow his breath. He needs concentration. This is just another patient, and if he doesn’t stop freaking out, he can’t help him, right?

Deku begins to feel the magic flow in him, from the center of his chest, expanding toward the extremities and in his fingers, slowly dripping in the open flesh.

“Sorry, Kacchan.” Deku whispers, green light starting to spread around him. “This will hurt a little.”

~

It has been almost three days since Deku rescued and patched up Katsuki, and the blond man has since then come in and out of consciousness, sometimes with a semblance of clarity but most of the time delirious because of the high fever. Deku has almost had no sleep himself, but that day it seems like things are a bit better.

He just cleaned the wounds and reapplied the herbal treatments. Deku is brushing the man's face again with the damp cloth and finally takes the time to look at the man lying on his bed. Katsuki’s skin is clammy, but the fever has finally broken off, his breath is even and calm. It seems he is truly sleeping this time.

Katsuki looks … handsome as always. Not even a near death experience seemed to disturb his looks. His hair is still as wild as ever, cheeks a bit more pink and on his cheeks and forehead there are some new scars he did not have when Deku left. That goes for all of his body. Deku wonders what happened while he was gone, but he isn’t in a rush now. The moment of them talking seems getting closer now that there are no other urgencies.

Deku is so caught in his thoughts that he doesn’t immediately realize Katsuki’s breathing has changed. But when he brings the cloth back to the man’s face he finds two red eyes staring at him. Deku is not sure how to interpret his gaze, but he knows Katsuki won’t spare him his thoughts for too long.

Katsuki tries to speak, but his throat is sore and ends up in a coughing fit. Deku immediately brings water to his lips, holding him up with a gentle hand at his nape, while he chugs it eagerly.

“Easy, Kacchan.”

He can’t stop the small smile invading his face. Oh, he hasn’t smiled in quite a while, has he. But it lasts shortly. As soon as that name is out of his lips, Katsuki slaps his hands away with a grunt, sending the glass rolling to the floor.

The silence between them feels heavier and heavier. Should he say something? Should he just wait? He has so many questions but at the same time he feels like he has no right to ask, not when he knows he does not want to give answers himself.

“Y-you…” Katsuki starts speaking tentatively, his unused throat must be hurting him. “You asshole.”

Ah. Eloquent as ever. Just how he left him. Oh, right. He left him.

Kacchan is not looking at him. Deku can see his hands shaking a bit and all he wishes is to reach them with his and hold them. But he is not allowed to do that anymore. He feels the blond take some deep breaths, trying to calm down before he speaks again.

“Is this where you’ve been all this time?”

Deku shakes his head affirmatively. He does not trust his own voice yet, or his mouth for what he might blurt out without his control. 

“I burned it.”

Deku stays silent, he isn’t sure he understands. The fever might still be making him a bit delirious. Katsuki is not even looking at him, his eyes are pointed to the ceiling but he isn’t really looking at anything specific.

“Your fucking letter. I burned it.”

Oh. That.

Deku doesn’t know how to feel right now. He understands. He really does. In fact he kind of imagined it a million times, how Katsuki must have reacted to his departure. But hearing it right from the blond’s lips does kind of hurt. 

After a few more minutes of silence Katsuki seems to drift off to unconsciousness again. He must be so weak from the fight, the escape, and the bleeding out.

Deku steps down the ladder from his elevated beddings and goes to the fireplace to stir the soup he has been cooking. That should be easy for Katsuki to eat later.

He needs some rest too. He can feel himself dragging around the hut, his mind not so clear anymore and now he is even more drained after the short talk. Deku wraps himself up in his blankets and sits close to the fire, falling asleep almost as soon as he closes his eyes.

~

Deku jolts awake at the loud thumps and grunts, coming from a spot not too far from where he has been resting. When he is finally able to focus, he sees a massive figure lumping against the stairs of the mezzanine where his bed is, and where said man should be lying.

Deku immediately jumps to his feet and out of the blankets, mild panic starting to rise as he sees Katsuki holding a hand over his stab wound.

“What are you doing?! You can’t move around just yet!”

Katsuki tries to jerk away from him but he can’t really move away and Deku has no intention to listen to any of his tantrums right now. He gently nudges him back towards the stairs.

“Let go of me! Where is she? I want to see her!”

“What are you-“

With a little more force Katsuki manages to get free of his grip and steps back slightly, leaning over his herbs table.

“My wolf. I want to see my wolf.”

“She is out hunting right now, Kacchan. Please, you need to go back to bed.”

“I’m done lying around!”

Okay, this is not going anywhere. Deku steps back cautiously and moves a stool from under the little table he usually eats on.

“Can you at least sit down while we wait for her to come back? She can’t be too far now.”

Katsuki is looking at him again, he has a hurt expression on his face and Deku can’t really tell if it’s towards him or the fact that he knows he has to do as Deku is demanding. 

Katsuki finally reaches the table and slams down on the stool, visibly affected by the effort to move around in that condition. Deku lets him be and goes back to the soup. It’s ready, so he serves them both a bowl. Katsuki seems immensely displeased by it, but he ends up slurping it up like a starved man. Well, he was probably starving for real.

They sit face to face now.

“Are you ever going to speak or do I have to do all the talking again?”

“How did you find me?”

Katsuki scoffs at that, bringing another spoonful of soup to his mouth.

“Really? That’s the first fucking thing you ask me.”

“Well, obviously, Kacchan! This is important. This place, this whole area, I kept it hidden for months. It is supposed to be absolutely invisible to any tracking magic. To be able to stay out of AFO radars. But with you here… that might not be the case anymore.”

“I hid myself too!” Katsuki says, apparently offended by the insinuation of him bringing a target on Deku's back after all this time. “After escaping the battle, I kept the barrier up all the time. I think I must have lost consciousness on the way but it was probably far enough and-”

“How did you know where to find me.”

“I didn’t!” Katsuki’s hands are shaking slightly around the spoon and bowl. “I- Well, it took me definitely too long to decipher the stupid riddle All Might left me with, but it wasn’t precise. I … don't remember how I got here. My wolf must have sensed something.”

They stay in silence for a few minutes. Deku feels a bit relieved, knowing they might not me in a too imminent danger, but still it makes him feel uneasy. He has been AFO target for so long since he inherited All Might magic.

“Why did you come here, Kacchan?” The words are meant for himself, so he doesn’t even realize they have left his mouth until Katsuki’s spoon hits the bowl. Deku almost expects it to burst in pieces.

“What the fuck?!”

“I told you not to come.”

“And I told you not to tell me what to do. Especially when it makes no fucking sense!”

Deku’s hands lock into fists, he can feel himself shaking and he doesn’t know if it’s more frustration, anger or all the emotions he has tried to ignore for the past days just threatening to break the dam.

“Do you think I wanted to leave you?! Do you think any of this is easy for me?!”

“You could have asked for our help! Asked me! Why run into this on your own?!”

“B-because you’d get hurt! Because of me! Do I need to remind you, you were at heaven's doors just hours ago!”

“Because we were not together!”

“Don’t.”, Deku abruptly stands up, the stool sent hitting the floor. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

“You owe me a decent explanation.” Katsuki’s voice is calm but Deku can see the same rage mirrored in those fiery red eyes.

“I owe you nothing. I told you what I had to say, and you couldn’t even respect my simple request.”

“To let you rot in a lost place in the mountains, on the other side of the world?! Well, I am fucking sorry!”

“To stay the fuck away from me!”

Katsuki goes immediately still at that. He is staring at him, wide eyes but his hands are shaking too. In a glimpse of rage he grabs the bowl and sends it flying on the wall on the other side of the room. He grunts because of the pain in his shoulder but Deku is too tired for it to matter right now.

“Wow, great point, Kacchan.”

Deku walks to the door, puts on his boots and coat and leaves the hut, leaving Katsuki alone in his house.

When Deku comes back from collecting wood he immediately notices the wolf prints in the snow. He has learned to be very careful of any trace around, both for hunting and to stay safe from any wild predator. He has learned his lesson with the fist bear that broke in his small storage room looking for food.

The prints lead back to the hut and he knows there can’t be any other wolf that big around, so he isn’t really alerted by it.

Deku enters the hut silently. His anger boiled off a little, but he really hopes Katsuki went back to bed, so that they don't have to talk again for a bit. He is trying to be silent enough to not wake him up.

The wolf is inside, so the blond must have let her in.

“Are you happy to see him?” She huffs in his direction, but doesn’t move from her spot close to the fireplace. He pats her gently on her head and she licks the back of his hand when he walks away, getting up to follow him after hesitating for a moment. Her tail is wagging behind her and size aside she looks like a guilty puppy asking for more attention.

“Traitor.” A voice huffs from above their heads. Katsuki is sitting on the last steps of the stairs while looking at the scene. He looks exhausted, and he is probably catching his breath before the last effort to reach the bed.

“Don’t listen to him. You are the best girl. Yes, you are!” He cheers for her and starts to scritch behind her ears.

“You make all my beasts stupidly soft.”

“That’s my superpower.”

Deku is smiling at himself and when he turns to face Katsuki he finds the man softly smiling in his direction. When their eyes meet they immediately look away awkwardly. Deku goes back to organize the wood for the fire.

Katsuki gets up not without difficulties, grunting the whole time and then drags himself in bed again. It’s dark outside by now so Deku decides to do the same, getting in his blankets next to the fireplace. He wishes he could have his bed back, but just the idea of lying besides Kacchan makes him feel weird. How awkward could that be now that they …

Well, what are they now? It’s not like they broke up, but it’s not like they are together either. That was them before he had to leave. Now they are just … not.

Deku falls asleep with that usual ache in his chest when it comes to Katsuki. That feeling of guilt and of wanting to have the man back at his side. But he can’t have that. Even if he is here right now. He can’t do this to him and himself again.

To be continued..?

I have a general idea of where this would be going but let me know your thoughts :3 Sorry for the long post and the angst, but if its of any consolation all my stuff will forever be BkDk endgame