Done Adulting Vol. 2 Ch. 37

“Not a big deal, Jamie,” Ella told him for the third time. “It happens to me every once in a while.”

“That’s different.”

“Not that different.” Becky usually gave Jamie a couple hours of naked little time every week to give his skin a chance to air out. He’d forgotten he wasn’t diapered and peed on his chair. Becky found him trying to clean it up and had been very sweet about it, while Jamie had cringed in embarrassment.

“No one cares but you. C’mon, think about something else.”

“Like what?”

“Six weeks from today, my parents will be here. Think you’ll agree that’s a bigger deal.” Ella was going to therapy three days a week in preparation, rehearsing different scenarios with Doctor Mary to prepare her for all of the possible reactions she and her family might have to each other. Sometimes Stacy participated, and sometimes not. Jamie hadn’t participated, but he spent time thinking about it now and again.

“What else do you need to do to get ready,” he asked.

“Not a lot. I think Stacy has met with the lawyer more and sort of lined things up for any eventuality, but she doesn’t say much about that. I asked, and she just said we’d go see him together again before they get here ... I do wanna change my room some before they get here.”

“Don’t want them to see certain things?” He’d felt the same way about Cheryl’s first visit. He’d not cared leading up to subsequent visits.

“Yeah. I think some of the larger furniture I’m just stuck with, but some of the decor can be changed easily enough.” She didn’t see why her parents needed to know a mobile helped her fall asleep at night.

“Will you change it back afterward?”

“Depends, I guess. I may like the changes.” She hadn’t changed the motif of her room in years. Perhaps she’d ask Stacy to just paint it all white, and they could start over after the visit. Stacy would like that, the assumption Ella would still be there afterwards.

“You can store any stuff you don’t want them to see here,” Jamie offered. “Where will they stay?”

“There’s a hotel that accommodates littles. The lawyer booked some rooms there.” That made Jamie wonder how much this was costing Stacy – the lawyer, the therapist, the hotel, and presumably a car service for her family, too. It all had to add up to a lot of money. She might even be paying for their travel to and from the dimension, an expensive trip. The cost of transports was one of the main reasons littles tended to be adopted almost exclusively by families who were relatively well off, especially with all the other costs littles came with. It was cheaper in other countries, but Itali’s insistence on security measures to make sure transports weren’t hijacked or littles lost drove up the cost, though no one disputed the necessity of it. Pirates avoided Itali transports and those of other Alliance members.

“What about you,” Jamie asked. “Are you ready yet, do you think?” She was more guarded with her feelings than Jamie and hadn’t said much more about them since they’d last spoken about the reunion.

“Trying to be. It’s all ... The lawyer said it’s best if we didn’t exchange letters or pictures in advance. I don’t even know what my youngest sister looks like. My parents must have some gray hair by now. They might not recognize me ... I can’t imagine how it will be, even with the rehearsals with Mary. It’ll be awkward, or we’ll all go to pieces. I don’t know. They might even be mad at me, ya know, some resentment. All of the above. Scared of me. Scared for me. Scared for themselves, with all these bigs. I don’t even know what they’re doing to prepare.”

“I’ll be there, if you want, when you meet them. I’ll be there with you. We all could.”

“Thanks, but I don’t think ... I’ll think about it.” She could use the support, but surrounding herself with more bigs might just make it all more intimidating for everyone. Mary and the lawyer would be on call. Ella didn’t see how Becky’s presence would help. She could be too much of a big. Manda might help; she had much better instincts for what an unregressed little needs.

“Whatever you want. You can even meet them here, sort of neutral ground,” Jamie suggested, “for the first time.” That was a thought. Neutral ground had been suggested, even the idea of meeting at the hotel. The lawyer wanted to be there, and Ella had said no, but she was wavering on it.

“I’ll think about it ... What about you and Manda and finding a place?”

“We’re going to decide soon. Looks like it’ll be a one-bedroom.”

“So she’s set on moving out?”

“As far as I know. I wouldn’t mind if she waited until the next semester, but it’s her calendar. She stills owes me a trip together, just the two of us.”

“Forgot about that.”

“Alright, littles,” Amanda interrupted them as she and Mel stepped outside. “You guys ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Jamie said, “I just need ...”

“Pants?”

“How about you, Ella,” Mel asked.
Ella felt her diaper. “I could use a change.” Inside, Amanda and Mel saw to their charges.

“Hello, Jamie,” Amanda said as she held out his shorts for him to step into. He looked spacey. “You with me?”

“What?”

“Pants...”

“Oh. Sorry, I was thinking.”
“About what?”

“I was, um, thinking that, um, today would be a good day to wear, uh, my skirt. If that’s alright.”

“Okay!” Amanda wanted to be purposefully enthusiastic without being patronizing. She’d been pretty ambivalent about his recent choice of clothes at first, but she’d begun to hope he’d want to wear at least the skirt outside their home eventually, and she was determined to make him feel confident in doing so. She swapped the shorts in her hand for the skirt in his drawer and held it out for him to step into. She pulled it up his legs and seated the waistband on his hips.

“How does that feel?”

“Comfy.” Jamie liked the way the waistband was wider than on his shorts and that the elastic stayed comfortably in place without a belt. His shorts with an elastic waist frequently slid down his butt.

“How about inside? Feeling confident?”

Jamie considered for a moment. He didn’t feel not confident. He just felt a little self-conscious, a little nervous. “Kinda,” he answered.

“All your favorite people are here. You’ll be alright.” She gave him a kiss and held out her hand for him to hold. Becky, Mel and Ella were waiting in the living room.

“Are we ready to go,” Becky asked, noting and choosing not to say anything about his outfit.

It was a snug fit with all of them in Becky’s car, with Mel wedged in between the car seats in back. Ella kept stealing glances at Jamie. She hadn’t seen him dressed like this, and he was more nervous about her reaction than anyone else’s. He didn’t know anyone else where they were going. The closer they got to the farm, the more nervous he grew. Not a running-away kind of nervous, just a skittish kind of nervous.

Ella didn’t want to ask any questions in front of the bigs. She didn’t mind. She was just curious, and she wondered whose idea it was. Jamie had never mentioned anything about it to her. She could see it being a big’s idea, but that didn’t seem like Jamie’s bigs.

From what he could see from his carseat, Jamie recognized the general direction they were going. They crossed the river and turned down a gravel road, the white rock a ribbon switchbacking up a hill and along its crest before descending the other side into a shallow, wide, U-shaped valley with an ornate farmhouse villa at the closed end of the U. The orchard and other fields lay in front of the house, stretching most of the way to the open end, with outbuildings scattered around the property. Becky parked in the gravel drive, dusty and already filling up even though it was just becoming mid-morning. Mel unbuckled Jamie and Ella but had to wait her turn to get out. Becky and Manda each took a stroller, while Mel grabbed the backpack carrier, which held a picnic lunch.

The five of them walked to the wooden shack that served as a ticket booth, and Becky paid. Mel was self-conscious about that. She was spending a lot of time with Amanda’s family, and Becky always picked up the tab. She understood better what Amanda had meant all those years about it feeling awkward having her things paid for despite being an adult, though Becky was well able to afford it, and Manda at least had the excuse of being Becky’s child. She would need to get a job, any job, if she couldn’t find a real one soon.

“So how does this work,” Ella asked when she’d been handed a small basket. She knew people did this back home, and she didn’t entirely get it. Spending a day outside in a pastoral setting made sense, but she didn’t understand why people paid to be farmhands.

“You fill up the basket, they weigh it, we pay for it, and then we can take them home and eat them,” Amanda said.

So it’s like the grocery store but with vines and no air conditioning, she thought. It didn’t look not fun. It just looked like an odd version of fun. Whoever thought of this form of recreation, she imagined, must be a genius. She nodded discreetly at Jamie; they’d become quite skilled at non-verbal communication around bigs, and the two of them walked a little further ahead. She chose an aisle of vines at random and turned down them. The vines reached to a little above their heads, which made them easy to pick the berries from while the bigs had to stoop. Ella reached over and put a hand on Jamie’s hip, pulling him closer so they were touching as they walked.

“It’s so cute how they’re an item,” Becky said. “Like a little boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Oh, look,” Mel said, not yet having adjusted to the knowledge they were lovers despite knowing for more than a month, “berries.” She distracted herself picking from the vines, not trusting herself to keep that secret if she got into a conversation about it with Becky.

“She seems to be doing okay,” Manda said to her mom. “A little more relaxed than she was.”

“Dr. Mary is a miracle worker,” Becky remarked. She sent her a card every Christmas picturing Jamie on Santa’s lap.

“Her family is going to be here pretty soon. We should talk to Stacy about that, how we can help. Ella wants Jamie to meet them. And he wants to too.”

“Do you think it’ll be upsetting for him?”

“No, I think Jamie will switch on that mini-big mode thing he does and be the social worker, at least at first. Or be the awkward boyfriend.”

“When am I gonna meet your awkward boyfriend,” Becky asked.

“He’s not awkward.”

“You’ve been dating for a while now, and he hasn’t even come by to pick you up.”

“It’s not that serious.”

“So just a summer fling?”

“Yeah.” That was partly a lie. It had begun as that, but it was feeling more like a relationship now. Manda wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She liked him, but there was already too much going on in her life. Bringing him more fully into her life, into Jamie’s life, seemed unwise with all that was happening. Still, she didn’t want to end it.

Up ahead, Jamie kept getting quiet and tightening up every time someone walked by him. Ella noticed. “Jamie,” she said, “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“That skirt makes your legs look sexy. And your butt, too.” It actually made Jamie look like he had a butt, which even padded looked flat to non-existent in pants and shorts.

“You’re just saying that.”

She looked around to see if Becky was paying attention and put her hand on the inside Jamie’s thigh, sliding up as high as she could without exposing his diaper to anyone looking. “No, I’m not. I like it,” she said in as sultry a tone as she was brave enough to use in public.

Jamie took in a deep, halting breath at her touch and pushed it out through his nose. “Thanks for saying so. It’s not weird?”

“The good ship ‘weird’ sailed a few thousand diapers and teddy bear sleepers ago.”

“It’s comfortable. It fits better than my shorts, too.”

“Because you have no butt. This sits higher,” she said, snapping the waistband that extended up to Jamie’s lower back.

It was getting crowded no matter which aisle they went to, and their basket was getting full. Becky approached them. “You guys doing okay?”

“Yeah. Think we almost caught our limit.”

“And ate some, I see,” she said, noting the berry stain on Jamie’s cheek. “What about you, Ella, still feeling good?” She’d gotten used to checking on Ella often when they were out, making sure she wasn’t growing too tired. Stacy had told her Ella was good for about two hours standing or an hour walking before she had to take a break. Becky checked a little more often than that, feeling extra cautious because Ella wasn’t her little.

“Yeah,” Ella responded, “I’m okay.”

“It’s not quite lunchtime, but we can go get a picnic table, and there’s a playground.”

Becky took a picture of the two of them walking hand in hand and sent it to Stacy, knowing it would make her day better. She sat at a picnic table with Amanda and Mel and watched the two of them approach the playground. Whereas Jamie liked to use the jungle gym equipment, Ella preferred sitting off to the side or by the sandbox. She couldn’t climb like he could, and she worried about someone running into her or falling, especially because littles’ playgrounds are tall. She told herself watching was fun, too, though she had been an active athlete before her abduction. As she always did, she urged Jamie to go play while she sat and watched.

It’s not easy playing on a jungle gym by yourself as an unregressed little. Jamie could only get so much of a thrill out of riding the slide. He looked on playgrounds more as exercise equipment, but when he could, he did enjoy playing on them with other littles. The chase made it fun.

Ella watched Jamie approach two littles. She couldn’t hear the conversation, but it was apparent the two didn’t enthusiastically embrace Jamie’s request to play with them. He turned around and sat on the edge of structure.

It was odd because littles tended to love playing with Jamie, recognizing on some level that he was unregressed and regarding him as a sort of older sibling. The bigs noticed as well, because Jamie rarely just sat on the playground, at least not before he’d run around some and gotten himself tired. He began to climb down, and one of the littles took just enough notice to reach out with his foot and push against Jamie’s shoulder. He fell, landing on his heels and falling backward onto the playground mat, his head bouncing off the soft but firm surface. Becky, Manda, and Mel raced over. Ella beat them there.

“I’m okay,” Jamie announced.

“Hold still,” Ella responded. She looked him over and didn’t see anything amiss except the wounded expression on Jamie’s face.

“Baby, where does it hurt,” Becky asked.

“I just ...” he propped himself up on an elbow. “My shoulder hurts is all.”

“Can you stand up?” Reaching out a hand, Becky helped him up gingerly and took her hand away but kept it close in case he started to fall. “Are you dizzy at all?”

“No, I think.”

“Why did he push you,” Amanda asked.

“He said the playground is for boys only.”
Amanda’s face turned dark, and her eyebrows arched like they were trying to escape from her forehead. Becky knew that look going all the way back to when Amanda was a toddler, and she knew it presaged an angry outburst.

Behind them, a woman was sternly telling the two littles to get down. “Don’t make me come up there!”

Becky paid them no mind as she picked up Jamie. When she turned around, the woman was marching the two littles over. She had each one by the hand, and they each looked regretful. Becky put Jamie back down.

“I’m so sorry,” the woman said. “Is he okay.”

“Mostly,” Amanda snapped. Becky turned and gave her a let-me-handle-it look.

“He landed on his shoulder funny and hit his head,” Becky told the woman.

“I don’t know what got into these two, but I promise they will be two sorry little boys when their father gets home.” Jamie winced. Turning to the one who pushed him, the woman asked, “Why did you push him?”

“Because he’s dressed like a girl,” the little said, sounding more indignant about Jamie’s outfit than sorry for what he’d done. The woman looked at Jamie again and noticed his attire.

She pivoted and knelt down in front of her little, telling him, “We’ve talked about this. What do we do when other littles are wrong? We ignore them, remember?”

Becky’s jaw dropped. Amanda stepped forward even as Mel reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “Fuck you,” Amanda intoned as she picked up Jamie from behind and put him on her hip, walking away without another word.

The woman turned around, but Becky already had Ella’s hand and was walking away, followed by Mel.

“I’m sorry, Jamie,” Manda was saying as she carried him to their table. “I really didn’t think that would happen.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“You know you’re right and they’re wrong, right?”

“Yeah ... Still hurts, though.”

“Forget about mean people, Jamie Bear. Fuck that shit, right?”

“Yeah.” He knew he shouldn’t internalize their negativity, so he tried to put it out of mind.

Becky set Ella down on the bench and sat herself next to Jamie. Amanda let go as Becky picked Jamie up and set him on the table in front of her. She put her hand on the back of his head and ran it down his back, feeling for any bumps or bruises.

“You sure nothing really hurts?”

“Just my shoulder.”

“How does it hurt?”

“Aches.”

“Nothing sharp? Hear anything pop?”

“No.”

“Okay. We’ll see how it feels tomorrow.” She leaned in and hugged him, kissing him and his boo boo. He blushed, looking at Ella.

“I’m sorry, Jamie,” Ella said. “She’s a bitch, and her littles are shits.” Becky let the language go. It was a different set of rules for Ella.

“They just don’t know better,” he said. “I feel kinda stupid now.”

“Don’t. You didn’t do anything wrong.” She wanted to knock that little a new one, and his big, too. She knew Jamie wanted the opposite, for them to learn a lesson gently and be enlightened, but Ella knew, as Jamie did, that isn’t how the world works. He began to lower himself to the bench, and Becky helped him. Ella hopped down and held out a hand for him, he took it and got down as well.

As the bigs watched, she led him back to the playground, where more littles were now playing, to where he’d been climbing down when he was pushed.

Becky watched, and her appreciation for Ella grew. She didn’t always love Ella’s attitude, though she could understand it, and sometimes that attitude could spread to Jamie, but she knew that regardless of all that and the complication that came into their lives because of her presence, she was good for Jamie. His life was better, he was happier, he was more confident and caring and well-adjusted because of her. Becky understood on some level that it was Ella who had taught Jamie some of the things he needed to know about how to be a little, and she knew that it was Ella, along with Rosie, who taught Jamie how to interact with other littles. Amanda got up from the table and followed them.

Jamie began to climb back up the jungle gym, and when he reached the top he turned around. Ella put her foot on the lower rung, and she and Jamie both realized it was too high for him to help her up. Determined, though, Ella turned around to wave one of the bigs over and saw Manda was more than halfway there. Wordlessly, she picked Ella up under her arms and lifted her to the platform, where Jamie took her hand. Manda kept a hand on Ella’s back until Ella had stepped away from the edge.

“Thank you,” Ella said to Amanda, who just nodded. She walked a few steps away to a bench and sat.

She didn’t hear what Ella was saying, but Jamie was nodding along, and when she stopped, she kissed him.

“You’re really okay with all of it,” he asked her.

Maybe it was because she’d missed the young adult years of her life. Maybe it was because she’d had very little experience with men. Or perhaps because she was so immersed in a culture where she wasn’t seen as a woman but as a little girl, and he wasn’t seen as a man but as a little boy. She didn’t think that was it, though. She was okay with Jamie wearing a skirt and not fighting back and having his Mom kiss his boo boo and his sister fight his fights for him, and none of that made her see him as any less of a man for all of that because she was simply a good person, and so was he, and none of the other stuff had any bearing on how she saw him, except as Jamie or how she loved him, except as Jamie, and she wanted to tell him so. She had recognized his embarrassment, and wanted to tell him so he wouldn’t feel embarrassed or insecure. He should feel more confident and secure, Ella knew, because he was brave enough to be different, just like he’d been brave enough to come to the dimension, especially unregressed.

“You’re my Jamie,” she said. “Of course I’m okay with it.”

As Amanda watched the two of them kiss again, a real kiss this time, she wondered if they would be an item back in their world or if they were what they were because they were the only unregressed littles each of them knew. Not that it mattered.

Mel sauntered over to Amanda. “You okay?”

“Mostly,” Amanda replied.

“Still upset?”

“It’s just ...” she sighed and watched the two of them talking with a chubby little boy whose shoes were untied. “You know why Jamie came here. I just wish I could give him that, the kind of world he deserves, where people don’t hurt each other.”

Mel squinted against the sun. “I don’t think there is such a world, but you do as good a job as anyone I know making this one come as close as it can.”

“Thanks. That helps a little.”

“Your mom says it’s lunch time.”

Amanda stood up and walked to the playground structure. “Ready for some lunch?” She held out her hand for Ella.

“We’re gonna take the slide,” she said. The two of them walked to the slide, and Ella sat down on the edge carefully. Jamie sat down behind her and put his arms tightly around her.

“You ready,” he asked.

“Uh-huh,” she said nervously. A slide was exactly the kind of thing she envisioned herself getting hurt on, but she trusted Jamie to keep her from landing too hard.

With a slight push, they disappeared down the tunnel and emerged a second later at the bottom, where Mel helped them to their feet.

“Was that fun,” she asked.

“Yeah,” Ella laughed.

Becky had spread out bread, cheese, fruit, nuts, jam, honey, and salami. It was a perfect light lunch for a day spent in the sun. As they ate, Jamie kept looking toward the woman and the two littles who’d been mean to him. They were sitting next to the woman, one on either side, while she talked to another big. It was obvious from their long faces they were in timeout.

“Don’t worry about her, Jamie,” Amanda said.

“She’s going to spank them when they get home,” he replied. He was angry they’d been mean to him and that the one had pushed him. He wasn’t angry about why, though his feelings were still hurt. They were regressed littles, which meant they’d had their minds reduced not only to a very young age but to the attitudes that were common when they actually were that age. In his job, before adopting himself out, Jamie had seen firsthand how there were many kids who embraced differences. It wasn’t universal, but it gave him hope for the future. He also knew, though, that such an attitude was a lot less common when he had been young, and even less common before that. As for the big and her attitude, he was angry at her. If anyone needed a spanking, it was her. She was at fault for not teaching them better. She was doubly at fault for teaching them worse.

“I’m sorry,” Becky said. “There’s nothing I can do about that.”

Mel had no problem with spanking. She’d swatted a little or two, and at least for the one who’d done the pushing, she’d have spanked his bare bottom right there if she could’ve, and not just a swat. She took being his Aunt Mel seriously.

Amanda felt the same way Jamie did, but not as strongly.

Ella felt just as strongly as Jamie did. She believed bigs had no business hitting littles, and her own history lent weight to that opinion. What made her different from Jamie was that whereas Jamie wouldn’t hurt a fly, Ella would’ve climbed back up that jungle gym and kicked that little’s butt.

“Can I go ask her not to,” Jamie asked.

“I don’t know, Jamie,” Becky said. “They are her littles.” She didn’t approve of spanking either, but she didn’t approve of people being mean to her Baby Bear even more. Not that that had anything to do with her reluctance to tell another parent what to do, but it didn’t help her overcome that reticence either.

“Please,” Jamie asked.

Becky sighed. “You’re sure?”

“Yes.” He didn’t want anyone to get hit, especially not on his account.

“I’ll go with you.” The two of them stood up and walked over. The woman scowled at them, trying to hide it, not wholly uncalled for given Amanda’s words to her. The littles looked away.

“Excuse me, miss,” Jamie said.

“Yes, young man,” the woman said. Jamie couldn’t tell if she’d have called him that anyway or if she was trying to make a point. She seemed liked the kind of big who called littles things like that regardless.

“I just wanted to say I forgive them for being mean to me and pushing me.”

“That’s very kind of you.”

“Do you think that, because I forgive them, you could punish them without spanking them?” The two littles turned toward Jamie, surprised.

The woman looked from Jamie to Becky.

“He doesn’t like it when littles get spanked,” Becky explained, “It only makes him feel worse.”

“Well,” the woman said, “it’s not about making him feel better but about teaching them a lesson.”

“But he didn’t even touch me,” Jamie said, nodding to the one who hadn’t pushed him.

“He was part of it,” the woman said impatiently. “This really isn’t any of your business,” the woman said to Becky, “and frankly, I don’t need advice from someone who lets their little boy wear a dress.”

The woman could call Jamie every mean thing she could think of, but insulting Becky crossed a line for Jamie. Rather than wait for Jamie to reply or to defend herself, Becky picked Jamie up and walked away. He did flip the woman the bird, but he wasn’t even sure bigs knew what that meant.

“I’m sorry, Baby Bear. At least you tried.” They walked back to their table.

“Any luck,” Amanda asked.

“No.”

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“Where did Ella go,” Jamie asked.

“She said she’s doing the shoe trick,” Mel said, nodding back toward the woman. Ella was under her table, but they couldn’t see what she was doing.

“What’s she doing? I didn’t even see her,” Becky said.

“She’s very sneaky,” Jamie said, cheering up some.

“What’s she doing?”

“Tying that woman’s shoes together.”

“What?!? Why didn’t you to stop her?”

“She said she’s a grown woman and makes her own decisions,” Amanda answered. “Not gonna argue with that.”

“Well, what if she gets caught?”

“Looks like she’s already done,” Mel said. Ella crawled out from under the table and kept crawling until she could stand up without drawing undue attention to herself. She was just another little playing in the dirt when she stood up and started walking back.

“What happens now,” Becky asked

“She stands up and falls on her face,” Jamie said. “Or more likely she doesn’t make it off the bench before falling backward.”

“Have you two done this before,” she asked, half smiling and half scolding.

“No, Mommy, never,” Jamie promised. “Love you.”

“You naughty bear,” Becky called him.

There was a tug at the hem of Becky’s shorts. She turned and looked down to find a little.

“Hello,” Becky said to him.

“Can he come play with us?”

“Wanna go play, Jamie,” Becky asked.

“Yeah. I would.” Ella reached them just as Becky set him down. “I’m gonna go play some more,” he said to her. “Wanna come?”

“I’ll just watch,” Ella said.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I’m kinda tired.”

“We’ll keep her company,” Mel assured him.

Becky kept one eye on Jamie and one eye on the woman. Becky had never played a prank in her life. She’d been a wonderfully behaved child, partly by nature and partly because she was afraid of her mother.

“So what happens now,” she asked Ella.

“We wait for her to get up.”

“How long?”

“How am I supposed to know?” Ella could tell Becky was a noob at mischief.

“This isn’t going to hurt her, is it?”

“Might.”

Becky was about to intervene when the woman stood and tried to step over the bench and out from under the picnic table. Ella had tied the laces as close together as she could. The woman wobbled, losing her balance and falling back sideways off the bench like a felled giant.

Ella burst into laughter and Mel followed suit. Amanda smiled but didn’t laugh, and Becky looked half happy and half worried.

“You think she’s okay,” Becky asked as the littles the woman was with had a good laugh. If only she’d done a better job teaching them empathy. She was stuck, her ankles still caught under the table, twisting around until her friend got to the other side and helped her.

When the woman stood up, she gave the little boys a look that silenced them, and they appeared to be denying any wrongdoing. The woman looked around.

“You think she suspects us,” Becky asked.

“if she doesn’t, she’s gonna,” Ella replied.

“Why?”

“Hey! Fuck you!”

“Ella! What’d you do that for? She’s coming over.”

“Ya gonna let anything happen to me?”

“Of course not.” Becky shifted Ella into her lap.

Amanda shifted so she was facing away from their table, ready to get up.

The woman stopped ten feet away. “Do you know what your little did!?!”

“Um, what’s that,” Mel asked.

“She tied my shoes together! I could have been hurt, badly!”

“Huh,” Amanda said. “I did hear her say “fuck you,’ but in fairness to her, she probably learned that from me, back when I said it. Remember that? When said to go fuck yourself for being a bitch to my little?”

Becky felt at a loss. She wasn’t one of these young kids who grew up online and were fluent in sarcasm and comfortable cursing. She didn’t feel in control of the situation.

The woman felt at a similar loss and decided to ignore the younger woman, turning to Becky, who had an arm around Ella’s middle. “Well, are you going to punish her?”

“We’ve not established that she did anything. At least not anything wrong,” Amanda interjected.

“Did you tie her shoes together,” Mel asked Ella.

“Yep,” Ella answered looking directly at the woman’s face. “Sure did.”

“Why did you do that,” Mel continued.

“Because it pleased me to do it.” There was no sarcasm in that answer, the flat intonation, the statement of a plain fact. Even Amanda and Mel found that answer and her tone off-putting, the way it revealed Ella had a sadistic streak somewhere deep down that the accumulated stress and anger had pushed to the surface. None of the bigs felt they could ever judge Ella, but they knew then she wouldn’t have felt so much as a tinge of regret if the woman had been hurt. Pleased even, because that woman had in Ella’s mind had within the brief span of half an hour become an avatar bearing all the sins of every big that had angered her since arriving in Itali, every clueless, callous, careless one of them.

The woman appeared to fume. “Young lady, if you were my little ...”

“She’s not,” Becky said as she found her voice, “and I don’t need advice from someone who hits littles, so … go fuck yourself!” For a brief moment, Becky felt the small thrill of a small, rebellious act. She swore. At another person! To their face! It was rudest thing she’d ever done, and she felt a guilty pleasure at having, for once, not kept herself in check.

The woman ground her teeth but turned on her heel and walked away.

“Did you ever see a show called Deadwood,” Ella asked Becky. “I think you’d like it.” She was sure Becky would hate it, or more likely not be able to process littles behaving that way.

“I’m not sure which of us behaved worse,” Becky said, “her or us.”

None of the rest of them had any such doubts.

“She hurt Jamie’s feelings because she’s prejudiced,” Mel replied.

“And she hits her littles,” Amanda added.

“So we said some dirty words and made her feel unwelcome,” Ella added. “She should feel unwelcome. Fuck that shit.”

Becky felt outnumbered. She knew all they had done was make themselves feel better and ruin the woman’s day. They certainly hadn’t changed a mind. She didn’t want to argue the point, though, not over her. Twisting the woman’s righteousness, because none of them doubted the woman felt all the more correct in her moral judgments of Jamie and his family and amazons like them and would purge her bad feelings by playing the victim with all her likeminded friends for days, was the best they were going to get.

Jamie, meanwhile, was happily playing with his new friend, who didn’t even notice what he was wearing and wouldn’t have cared if he had.