Done Adulting Vol. 2 Ch. 35

“You need anything,” Becky asked as she stood over Amanda’s bed.

“No. Thank you.” From where she laid, she could see the top half of Jamie’s head, his forehead creased in concern as he looked down the length of the bed.

“Try to sleep for a while, honey.” Becky put her hands on Jamie’s shoulders and steered him out the door. She closed it behind her.

“Maybe she needs company,” Jamie said. “I’ll be real quiet.”

“Then I’d have two people with colds to take care of,” Becky said. “Why don’t you go play outside. I got a few things to do.” She sent him on his way with a pat on the butt.

Jamie hated it when Manda or Becky was sick, but especially Manda. He couldn’t help but worry, even over a cold, and he lost his favorite playmate for a few days.

This was Day 2, and Becky had been shooing him away from Amanda since the day before. He didn’t really want to play outside. It was nice out, but there wasn’t anything he wanted to do around the house. He walked into the kitchen and climbed into his chair. Becky had papers laid out in front of her.

“Can I call Mel,” he asked.

“Sure, honey. Why?”

“Maybe she’s free and wants to go do something.”

“Awwww.” Becky still found it adorable that Jamie had a special relationship with Mel. She didn’t of know any other littles who had an unrelated big that was also a friend, not a babysitter or playmate but a true friend. “My phone’s upstairs. Be right back.”

While Jamie waited, he reached over out of curiosity and looked at the papers Becky was working on. They were bank statements marked up with a pen. It looked like Becky was trying to get a solid sense of her monthly income and expenses. He knew teachers earned a lot, but he didn’t know much about the currency. He wasn’t sure, looking at the papers, if she earned a lot or a-lot-a-lot. It looked like she had been right. They could afford a two-bedroom apartment and the little fee, but it meant either spending less or saving less for Becky. He knew Amanda would be stretching her budget with her meager assistantship stipend, and it appeared from the papers that while Becky was quite comfortable, she wasn’t two-homes-comfortable. He slid the paper back.

“Here you go,” Becky said as she unlocked the phone and dialed Mel’s number. She had it programmed into her speed dial along with several other babysitters’. Mel answered the phone, “Hi, Becky.”

“It’s Jamie.”

“Oh, hey! What’s up?”

“That’s what I called you to find out. Amanda is in bed sick, and Mom is busy. I thought if you were free that you’d wanna do something.”

“Sounds like fun. I’ll come over right now.”

“K. See you soon.” Jamie hung up the phone.

“She’s free,” Becky asked.

“Yeah.”

“Better get you dressed then.” She picked him up out of his chair and carried him to the nursery. After all these years, he still didn’t know they called it that. “Any preference today?”

“I think just shorts and a onesie today.” He had only worn the skirt in the backyard, and he was still nervous about wearing it elsewhere. Besides, he didn’t know where he and Mel would go. Becky pulled off the tee shirt he had on and replaced it with a onesie. He liked the tight feeling around his diaper. It made it easier to play. She helped him down and held out shorts for him to step into.

“Sandals or shoes?”

“Sandals.” She strapped them on his feet. He knew he was spoiled, but if it gave them pleasure to dress him, he was happy to let them.

“Why don’t you go wait by the door.” Mel didn’t live far. Becky grabbed his diaper bag from the narrow space between the changing table and dresser and made sure it was stocked. She added his bathing suit and a clean outfit.

Mel let herself in when she arrived. Jamie got his sunglasses from the console table near the front door that held their keys and purses.

“Hey, Mel,” Becky said as she came out from the kitchen. “Thanks for coming by.”

“Happy to. I don’t have much going on either. I’m glad you called, buddy.”

“Here’s his bag,” she said handing it over, “and here’s some cash if you guys want to get lunch or ice cream or something.” Mel would have turned down the cash, but without a job, she needed it. She looked forward to being able to treat her friends again. “You’re welcome to take Manda’s car.”

“What do you think, Jamie? Drive or walk?”

“I think walk, if that’s okay.”

“I’ll open the garage for you. Be a good boy,” Becky said to Jamie as she knelt down. “Gimme a hug.” Embarrassed, he did. Jamie’s Mom could be such a parent sometimes.

Mel and Jamie went outside and shut the door as they heard the garage door opening around the side. By the time they turned the corner, the door was high enough for them to slip in under and collect the stroller. Mel stashed the diaper bag underneath, and they headed toward downtown and the park.

“Other side, Jamie,” Mel said as they started down the sidewalk. Jamie never gave it any thought, but Mel or Becky or Manda would always remind him to walk on the side of them away from the street. He didn’t think it would do much good, but it made him feel looked after that they always, without fail, put themselves between him and traffic. “Where do you wanna go?”

“I dunno. You pick,” Jamie answered.

“I’m hungry. You hungry?” They walked to downtown. It was a long walk, and Jamie was tired from keeping up even though Mel slowed down for him. They headed for O’Donnell’s. They beat the lunch crowd there, but just barely.

“Booster or highchair,” the hostess asked. Mel looked at Jamie.

“You pick.”

Mel shrugged and said, “Booster.” Once they were in their booth, with the booster wedged in next to Mel but Jamie seated on her lap, a waitress brought them one regular menu, one little menu, and a placemat with crayons. She took their drink order and quickly returned with it. “Do you want the red crayon or the blue one,” Mel asked.

“You pick.”

Mel frowned, not so Jamie could see, and picked up the red crayon. She pulled the placemat closer and started coloring in a corner. “I need help with the airplane,” she said, “I’m not good at coloring in airplanes.”

“Fibber.” He picked up his crayon and started coloring.

“You seemed happier on the phone.”

“I’m happy. I’m just thinking.”

“See, that’s where you went wrong.” She glanced at her menu and picked her usual. “Know what you want? And I’m not picking,” she quickly quipped.

“Uh-huh.”

She put her free arm around Jamie’s middle and lightly rubbed his tummy. “Thinking about what?”

“Manda moving out.”

“I thought you were, well, not good with it but ready.”

“I am. It’s just ... I don’t know if I should say.”

“You can tell me anything. It’s me: Aunt Mel.”

“Well, it’s not about me, is the thing. It turns out having a two-bedroom apartment with a little is more expensive than Manda and Mom thought. Mom’s going to have to cut back on something, or they’ll need to get a one-bedroom.”

“Hmm. Would you mind sharing a room with Manda?”

“No, not really. I actually thought of that. But now I’m thinking that wouldn’t be fair to Manda. Ya know, she’s grown up. She deserves some privacy. I don’t wanna be the reason she doesn’t get to have this part of her life. But I also don’t want Mom to have to cut back because of me either.”

Whoever thinks littles lead uncomplicated lives don’t know what they’re talking about, and they definitely haven’t met Jamie, Mel thought but kept to herself. She didn’t have a solution. “What do they say,” she asked instead.

“I don’t know. They don’t talk about money stuff around me.” He put his crayon down. “I was thinking, I mean, just this morning, right before you got there, maybe I won’t stay with Manda. At least, not regularly. Then she could, I dunno, just get a playpen for me to sleep in sometimes and I wouldn’t need much there.”

“Jamie ...”

“They give up enough for me.”

“Jamie,” Mel cut him off. As she put down her crayon and turned him so they were looking at each other. “You can put that thought right out of your head because that is never gonna happen. Never. No way will Manda be okay seeing you just some of the time. She ...” Mel caught herself. “She’s your guardian. You’re her little. You love each other. That’s all there is to it.”

“You don’t think she’d ... I mean, to be able to have this part of her life like other women her age, just simplify it a little bit? We’d still be together all the time. Just not ... regularly.”

Mel knew, because Manda had told her, how much Manda was looking forward to having Jamie in her new home. A home they’d make together. She was excited about all the ways it could be different from her childhood home. She had plans for the two of them. And Mel didn’t understand sometimes how Jamie, sweetheart that he was, could think he was doing anybody any favors by making himself less a part of their lives. It made Mel wonder if he still de-valued himself, to some degree, to think that would be the case, that Manda, and Becky would be happy that he’d solved this problem for them by taking himself out of the equation.

The waitress came and took their orders while Mel thought of how best to reply to Jamie without making him feel she was angry at him. “Jamie,” she sighed and paused. “Jamie,” she said calmly, “don’t you ever, ever say to Amanda or Becky what you just said to me. Okay? You not living with Manda will not help. Okay? It’ll just ... She doesn’t want to live without you. You are ...” Mel felt choked up, partly out of jealousy, “... You are this part of her life. You are the most important, biggest part of her life. You’re what brings her more happiness than anything else. Manda would rather stay home and your mom would rather be broke than you and Manda not together. It’s hard enough that it won’t be every day. Understand?”

Jamie knew everything she said was true. It wasn’t a well thought out notion or anything that he’d voiced. He had just had it. He was sorry he said anything. He just, as silly as it was, still didn’t want to see Amanda holding back on launching herself into the next phase of her life on his account. But he knew Mel was right. He was pretty confident he wouldn’t have ever gotten so far as expressing his idea to Manda or Mom because he’d had figured out what a bad idea it was, but if he had, he thought he would’ve hurt their feelings. He felt selfish. Did he have that idea for Manda’s and Mom’s sake, or because he was thinking about it too much from his own perspective?

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Mel had gotten to see a lot of the fragile and insecure parts of Jamie, albeit not in a while. “Hey,” she said very softy. “I know your heart’s in the right place. You’re a very sweet and good person, and everyone loves you very much.”

“I just ...” He didn’t know why he had said what he’d said.

“I know.” She kissed the top of his head and gave him a squeeze. “I’m not mad. “Let’s have a fun day. Talk about something else.” She rolled his crayon closer to him, and he picked it up.

“Wanna talk about your job hunt,” he asked. He actually didn’t. He didn’t like the idea of her starting her first real job because they couldn’t have random weekdays like the one they were having anymore.

“I said a fun day,” Mel answered back. “Where are we going when we leave here?”

“You pick,” Jamie said.

“Ugh!” She tickled his left side. “Where?”

“You pick,” he giggled. She tickled his right side.

“Which side am I gonna tickle next?”

“You pick!”

“Ooh, when we get to the park I’m tossing you right in the lake.”

“See? You picked.” And it was what he would have picked, too. “Before we leave,” he said, “let’s order some soup to go for Manda.”

“Good idea.”

Jamie elected to ride to the park to save his energy for playing. Mel steered him straight to the strip of tree-lined grass between the playground and game field and got him out of the stroller.

“Go play,” she said as she gave him a light smack on the butt. He toddled off toward the herd of littles playing tag and quickly made himself its most active participant. Mel decided she’d try to socialize with the women standing watch over the game, and she naturally gravitated toward the younger ones, who she assumed were sisters or babysitters.

“Hi,” she said to a group of women talking in a semi-circle. “Can I join?”

“Yeah. Of course,” one said. “I’ve seen you here before.”

“I come with my friend sometimes,” Mel replied.

“Are you babysitting today,” another asked.

“No, just hanging out with my friend.”

“Where is she?”

“Oh! Ha! No, I mean my little friend, Jamie. There, in the red shorts.”

“Your friend?” The group exchanged looks.

“Yeah. He invited me to lunch; we decided to stop here.”

“He invited you? That’s so cute!”

“He’s a sweetheart. If I could only find a man my age like him.” Though, Mel thought after their conversation at lunch, maybe someone a little less insecure than Jamie.

“Is he the unregressed one,” one of them asked.

“Yeah, But we just call him ‘Jamie.’” Mel was now wary. She knew that was an issue with some people, and knew some of those people frequented the park, but she didn’t see any from that group Amanda had confronted the last time she came to the park with them.

“We’ve heard about him.”

“I see. Excuse me.”

“No! It’s okay. We’re fine with it. He’s still a little.”

“What’s he like?”

“Like a ...Like an amazon, just shorter,” Mel replied. That was true so far as it went. If he were an independent little, she figured he’d be no different at all really.

“No, but really, what’s he like?”

Explaining Jamie was like explaining anyone. You can’t do it in a few sentences. You can’t do it at all, really, in any comprehensive way, even if you have hours or days to do it. You either know the person, or you don’t.

“Um ... Geez, well, he’s very kind. He’s polite. He’s thoughtful. He’s really funny, like not for a little funny but actually funny. He’s got more baggage than most littles, but that’s because he actually remembers his old life. Sometimes he calls and invites you to lunch.”

“So he really is just like an amazon,” one of them said. “That’s ... Hmm.” She didn’t understand what appealed about that, a miniature big that required a ton of care and expense.

“He’s like the nicest, most affectionate, most big hearted, gentle amazon you ever met. But he’s still a little. He’s still off-the-charts adorable. He’s still my snuggle buddy and a total milkhead. He gets his feelings hurt. He needs someone to help make it all better ... Actually, I think that’s the difference. He needs someone to make it all better, but when you’re the one with the problem, he’ll make it all better for you, or at least make you feel that way.”

“Awwww,” several of them said.

“I want one now,” one of them said.

“Well, this one is all mine,” Mel said as she knelt to receive Jamie, who was jogging over. “What’s up? You didn’t play very long.”

“I think we should get that soup home to Manda. Did you make friends?” He recognized faces but didn’t know any names.

“I was just bragging about you,” Mel replied. “His sister has a cold. Guess we’ll be going.” See, she thought. Do your littles bring you soup when you’re sick? She held out her hand, he took it, and the two of them started walking home.

Manda was asleep when they got home, and it was almost Jamie’s nap time. He was pretty fed up with nap time interrupting the fun stuff. For the first time ever, Jamie used nap time to make a deal, and Becky found it too endearing to say no.

“I’ll take a nap on one condition.”

“Condition,” she asked, confused. He always took a nap, or almost always. At the very least, he’d have some quiet time.

“I wanna take Manda her soup later and see how she’s feeling.”

“Ohhh. Sure. But just a few minutes.”

“Okay.”

“Mind if hang out,” Mel asked Becky.

“Don’t wanna go home?”

“Getting a little tired of being with my little brother home from school. Could use a break.”

“Make yourself at home,” Becky said.

“C’mon, Jamie. Let’s go outside. You can take your nap in the shade with me.” Suddenly nap time seemed like the best thing ever.