Done Adulting Vol. 2 Ch. 25

Jamie nodded at Ella, who nodded back. Being littles gave them license to do things they otherwise never would, and Ella’s unique circumstances meant she never really got in trouble, while Becky and Amanda were so gentle they never got very upset with Jamie. When it came to bigs Jamie thought were mean, past experience had taught him he was virtually immune from punishment, and this was so worth it.

Ostensibly, they were at the park celebrating Jamie’s arrival day along with friends and family. Becky had reserved a pavilion – her name was on it and everything – and this big had thought he could just take it for his own event even with the reserved sign clearly on it. He didn’t put up any kind of real fight about it, but he had raised his voice just enough to piss Jamie off, and the dirty look he had received – as though it were his fault for having an arrival day – sealed the man’s fate.

Ella was on lookout duty. Jamie was under the bench. They could have used two more lookouts, but being a mischievous little is all about adapting and improvising to overcome the eyes of watchful bigs, especially at the playground where the ethos is everybody looks out for all the littles. Jamie imagined this had to be so much easier to do to a human. The shoelaces on bigs’ shoe were more like small-gauge ropes. Still, he managed to get the jerk’s shoelaces tied together without being caught.

“Now we wait,” Ella quietly asked Jamie as he backed out from under the bench.

“Or we try to get him to get up.”

“How do we do that.” Jamie gestured for her to follow, and the two of them walked around the bench right through the man’s field of vision and to the edge of the playground. Jamie picked up a still-green pinecone.

“That could hurt him,” Ella said, though she said it more as a fact than an argument

“Yeah,” Jamie demurred. “But so could him falling on his face.”

“We’ll get caught if you throw it.”

“Not like we’ll get in trouble.” Jamie wrestled with his moral dilemma.

“I remember when you wouldn’t even punch Bobby,” Ella reminded Jamie.

“Bobby is a regressed little. That’s an adult and a jagoff.” Jamie considered it for a moment. He wasn’t a mean person. Even if sometimes his temper made him impulsive, he never followed through on it. “I guess we should go untie …”

Too late. They watched the man stand up, step forward, trip, and fall. It wasn’t as funny as Jamie had hoped, but as they watched the man flip himself over, looking hurt but not injured and more than a little embarrassed, he wasn’t exactly sorry.

“Feel bad about that,” Ella asked Jamie.

“I want to, but not so much. He shouldn’t have yelled at my Mom. You?”

“He’s an amazon.” Ella still wasn’t feeling much sympathy for bigs. She was sure she’d return to her normal state of being a nice and generous person when things got straightened out, but until then, she had given herself permission to be judgmental, impatient, and mean.

The man was sitting up and untying his shoes, looking around trying to determine who did it while another big asked if he was alright. The man’s eyes settled on Jamie and Ella.

“I guess we should go back to the pavilion,” Jamie said. The two headed back. They didn’t know if the man was following or not, but assumed he was and picked their audience accordingly. If they approached Becky, she’d likely listen politely, because Becky is almost always polite, and then maybe she’d scold Jamie. They could approach Amanda, who was sure to do that thing where her eyebrows try to escape before she started yelling at the man. Or they could go to Jane, who never takes any guff from anyone.

“Hi, Jane,” Jamie said as they approached. “Is there a big with an angry look on his face behind us?”

“Yeah.”

“Could you take care of that, please?” Jamie hopped up on to the bench she was sitting on and helped Ella up. Jane stood up and started the toward the man. They didn’t hear what was said, but the man looked animated, and Jane looked calm. Then Jane looked animated, and the man looked calm; angry, but keeping it to himself before turning and walking away. Jane walked back.

“Did you really tie his shoes together?”

“We can’t help it if we misbehave sometimes,” Ella said, “We’re just littles, after all.”

“Consider that an arrival day gift,” Jane said as she ruffled Jamie’s hair.

“What did you say to him,” Jamie asked.

“Told him to shove it in his complaint box.”

“Thank you.”

“It is your arrival day. Consider it a freebie. I won’t even tell Becky.”

Becky had transported her normal harried behavior for preparing for a party from their home to the park. “Who brings a broom to a picnic,” Ella asked.

“Dana’s daughter,” Jamie said. “And no need to bother asking if we can help. She always says no. If we were at home, we’d be in the playpen until Manda rescued us.” Amanda was making a buffet line along one of the picnic tables. Jamie sighed.

“What,” Ella asked.

“I just don’t like arrival days. Never liked celebrating my birthday, either.”

“Jamester!” Jamie, Jane and Ella turned and saw Danny and Lauren approaching with Sammy.

“Hi, Danny.” Jamie took hold of Ella’s hand. She was used to Danny, but nevertheless she would always a get a little nervous when amazon men got so close to her. She never articulated why, and everyone just respected it.

“Happy arrival day,” Lauren said. “Sammy, do you have something to give Jamie?” He had a small box in his hand. He toddled forward and handed it to Jamie.

“Thank you, Sammy.” The toddler kept walking toward Amanda, or more likely to the food Amanda was laying out.

“You guys do feed him, right,” Jane quipped.

Obviously, Jamie thought, how else would he be so big for his age? He was starting to make Jamie nervous. Soon they’d have to make sure Sammy was never alone with Jamie or any other littles for a few years until he could appreciate his ability to unintentionally hurt them.

“Ella,” Daniel said, “You’re looking lovely today.”

“Thank you.”

Lauren stepped forward. “I like that dress. Is Stacy here?”

“She’ll be here soon.”

“And Mel, too,” Jamie chimed in.

“And in fact,” Ella said, “We’re gonna go play until then. Becky!” She stopped her manic sweeping. “We’re gonna go play tag.”

“I’ll go with them,” Jane volunteered. “Rosie, wanna come?” Rosie, who wasn’t showing any sign of her adult self that day, stopped coloring for a moment, looked up, and went back to coloring without a word.

“We’ll keep an eye on her,” Lauren said. The three of them started walking toward the sports field on the far side of the playground.

After lunch, presents were opened, cake was eaten, food packed away, and everyone headed home, or so Jamie thought.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.” Jamie watched out the window as they got on the highway and headed in a familiar direction. He could see Solea at the harbor front.

“We’re going to the zoo?”

“You’ll see,” Becky said to him. He tried to see around the headrest. She sounded excited, and he was trying to discern her expression. They were clearly going to Wood’s Park, where the zoo was. They turned into the park, and Becky pulled over next to an empty field. Amanda got out and then into the backseat with Jamie.

“So …” he started to ask.

“Ya gotta put this on,” Amanda said as she took a blindfold from the diaper bag.

Jamie’s eyes darted left and right, wondering what the huge surprise could be that required a blindfold. “Okay,” he said suspiciously. Amanda secured it around his head, and Becky started driving again. They didn’t go far. Jamie didn’t care much for the experience of being driven when he couldn’t see anything at all.

“I’m gonna carry you,” Amanda said. Amanda unbuckled him, lifted him out, and carried him to … well, he didn’t know where.

“Where do you think we are,” Becky asked.

“The zoo?”

“Guess again.”

“The science center?”

“Nope. Give up?”

“Yeah.”

“We’re at the art museum.” Jamie hadn’t been back there since he and Amanda had stormed out in protest over him not being allowed out of the stroller so he could actually see the art.

“Oh,” Jamie responded. “Did they change their policy or something?”

“No. And that’s the surprise. You ready?”

“Uh, yeah,” Jamie laughed nervously, “I guess.”

Amanda slipped the blindfold off to the count of, “1. 2. 3!”

The sound of dozens of people shouting, “SURPRISE!!!!” startled Jamie as the sunlight blinded him for a moment. Then he was smiling ear to ear, wondering what was going on. He surveyed the scene of at least 50 bigs and their littles.

“What … I don’t get it.”

“See any strollers,” Amanda asked. Jamie looked around, seeing no strollers.

He chuckled. “I still…”

“They can’t throw us all out, Jamie Bear. Or they can try, but they’ll regret it when they’re all over the news this evening.”

People were snapping pictures of the three of them. Lauren and Daniel and Mel and Sammy and Rosie and Jane and Ella and Stacy all emerged from the crowd. Jamie started to get misty eyed.

“How did you do this,” he asked.

“It was all Manda and Mel,” Becky said.

“We told the story about the time we came here on No-You-Shut-Up,” Manda explained, referring to the moment’s most popular social media platform, “and laid out our plan.”

“All these people are just strangers?”

“Mhmm.”

“This is … This is the nicest present I’ve ever gotten. You …” Jamie felt a little overcome by the gesture. He turned inward into Manda’s shoulder and hugged her tight. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure, Baby Bear … Are you ready to go break museum policy?”

“Let’s do it.”