Done Adulting Vol. 2 Ch. 18

Stacy decided to let the lawyer explain it all to Ella. She tried to rehearse what she would say, but she had a hard enough time grasping it herself. She decided to go to the attorney’s office and let him do it. Ella listened.

“So you’re saying,” Ella asked, “that what I want may not matter? That I can be taken away again whether I want to be or not?”

“That could happen, yes,” the attorney answered.

Ella shook her head and sighed. “You fucking people,” she muttered.

“I’m sorry,” the lawyer asked, not hearing her clearly.

“You. Fucking. People,” Ella spit back. She hopped off her chair. “Your whole goddamn dimension and your whole goddamn species and your constant fucking bullshit!” She was pacing back and forth. “You know nothing about us! You treat us like fucking animals or children. You have no clue how our minds work or how our bodies work. You just assume we’re not as smart or good or capable as you. And why? Because we’re not as big! Land of the giant fucking tyrants. How can you treat us this way!”

“Honey,” Stacy tried to gently interrupt her.

“You stole my life! I had a family! I had friends! I was happy! I had a life planned! I was gonna get married one day! I was gonna have kids! I was gonna be an artist! And look!!! Look what they did to me!” Ella stretched out her arms and turned them over to show her scars. “Look! They mutilated me! And now you’re telling me that your fucking courts can just declare that in eight years – eight fucking years – that I’ve never exercised my own judgment? That I’m incapable of it and take away everything I have? Well, who questions your judgment? You and your whole goddamn planet of monsters and thieves who can’t get it through your fucking heads that we’re people too! Well, fuck you!”

She ran out of steam. She dropped her hands to the side and cried slowly, out of breath. The lawyer looked away, embarrassed. Stacy got down on her knees and approached Ella.

“Honey,” Stacy said as she tried to put her arms around her.

“No,” Ella said weakly.

“Honey, c’mere,” Stacy tried again. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“You don’t know that,” Ella said weakly again as she let Stacy pick her up and hug her close.

“I’ll give you two a minute,” the lawyer said and excused himself.

“How can they do this,” Ella asked. “How can they keep treating me like this?”

“I don’t know.”

“I just want them to leave me alone. Everything was fine the way it was ... I thought it was over.”

Home had been life. Aidu had been a nightmare. Itali was not the life she’d wanted but the life she’d been able to carve out for herself to find something like happiness. Where was she now?

“I want Jamie,” Ella said. “Now.”

“Okay. Let’s go.” Stacy started to stand up.

“I can walk,” Ella said.

Becky opened the door and was surprised to see Stacy and Ella. “Sta ...”

“I’m sorry,” Stacy cut her off.

“Is Jamie in his room,” Ella asked and didn’t wait for an answer.

“Yes, he’s asleep,” Becky answered as she watched Ella walk under her arm.

“I’m sorry,” Stacy said again.

“What’s wrong,” Becky asked.

“Everything,” Stacy said.

“Come in,” Becky said.

“Jamie,” Ella said after she’d closed the door to his room. “Stupid fucking crib,” she muttered as she approached it. “Bars between me and the other humans. How’s that for a fucking metaphor?”

She reached up to put her hand through the bars but couldn’t reach high enough. “Jamie!” That jolted him awake.

“What!” He looked and didn’t see anybody.

“Hi,” Ella said. He peered over the edge.

“Ella! What are you doing here?”

“I needed to see you.”

“Let me call ...”

“No. No bigs.”

“O. Okay. Uh, I haven’t done this in a while.” Jamie went to the corner of the crib, pulled himself to the top, and carefully pivoted his hips over so he was sitting on the rail. Slowly, he turned, and grasping the top rail he lowered himself down so his feet were almost touching the platform his mattress rested on. Hand under hand, he lowered himself so he was standing on the platform and kept lowering himself until he was a few inches from the floor. He dropped the rest of the way.

They studied each other before either one spoke. “Why’ve you been crying,” Jamie asked.

Instead of answering, she took Jamie by the wrist and pulled him toward his recliner. They sat in it together. Ella put her head on Jamie’s chest. “Everything is a mess,” Ella said. She told him everything.

Jamie sat silently and listened. He wasn’t sure what to say. He had questions, but he didn’t want to ask them. He didn’t want to offer advice. He knew Ella wasn’t looking for advice and probably didn’t have answers to his questions yet.

“I’m so tired of this place,” Ella said after they’d sat quietly. “All these bigs … I was fine; I was happy until six days ago.”

“And now,” Jamie asked.

“Now,” she sighed, “Now I feel like a rescue all over again. All these decisions that could be made for me. All these … It’s been years since I thought about whether I was right to stay. Now I’m wondering if I should’ve … I liked my life until six days ago. I was happy, and they took that away from me again. It’s like I’ll never be safe here, never have a life they can’t strip away.”

In the living room, Stacy explained it all to Becky. “How can we help,” Becky asked.

“I don’t know. I just want to make this all go away.”

“Does Ella …,” Becky stopped herself from finishing her question.

“Does Ella want to see her family, is what you were going to say,” Stacy said. “I don’t know. She hasn’t said. I don’t know if she knows how she feels. She’s angry, I know that. Her first thought was how this must’ve affected her parents.”

“What do you think she wants,” Becky asked.

“To stay, I think. To stay. I hope. She’s … She’s all I have. They can’t take her away.” Becky reached over to put her arm around Stacy.

“It sounds like her parents are being cooperative so far,” Becky said, trying to bring it around to the dimly bright side. “That’s something.”

“What if she wants to go home with them? What if she chooses them over me? When she sees them, what if it changes everything?”