Done Adulting Vol. 2 Ch. 15

Becky chose not to go. Manda had offered, and Becky turned her down. She wanted to give Jamie and her this time alone. She’d already sat under the stars with Manda, and she wanted it to be just as special for Jamie as it had been for her. So Manda and Jamie walked away from the bungalow at twilight and made a left at the water away from the lights.

The sand was cool, almost cold underfoot without the sun. The moon was new, leaving them to find their way in the dark, the white foam of the surf edging out a path they couldn’t get lost on.

“How far do you think we need to walk,” Jamie asked.

“It’s another mile to where the park starts. It’s pretty dark there. We’ll be able to see so many stars.”

“I miss nighttime.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not out much or even awake much at night. Especially in the summer. I get too tired to stay up. I used to be more of a night person. I liked that other face of the world.”

“Hmm.” Amanda didn’t know what to do about that. Jamie got sleepy early and got cranky if he missed his bedtime by too much. He stayed up sometimes, but they were careful with it. Jamie had taken a longer than normal nap that day so he could stay awake for this.

They kept walking in silence. Amanda wore a backpack with a blanket in it, water, a jacket for each of them, and a change for Jamie if he needed it. At first, Amanda hadn’t liked having to take more stuff with her everywhere she went. Now she didn’t feel ready to go anywhere without Jamie’s things, and deep down it made her feel warm inside, like she took care of Jamie by being prepared to take care of Jamie, remembering his things, even the little ones like a baggie of snacks or bottle of water, things he didn’t really need but that showed she thought of his every need and made him feel special, safe, and looked after.

“I think this is far enough,” Amanda announced. Jamie stopped. The sun was clinging to the horizon. Amanda laid out the blanket. Jamie straightened the corners. They sat down and watched the sun sink into the ocean, setting the waves on fire.

“I’m glad we got to come,” Jamie said.

“Me too. Sorry for the rough start.”

“Meh.”

“It was nice of you to build a sandcastle with Davis and Chelsea.”

“I didn’t mind playing with her, at least not for an hour. I just didn’t want to be a teaching tool for the week. Davis was helpful, too. Sweet kid when he’s not trying to impress girls.”

“He was pretty good with his sister.”

“How come Mom didn’t wanna come with us?”

“She ran to the pharmacy to get you something for tomorrow.”

“What?”

“Something to help you sleep through the flight.”

“Good.” He was nervous about flying again.

“You been worried about that?”

“A little.”

“Hopefully it’ll be a smooth flight.”

“Are you ready to be home,” he asked.

“Yes and no. I do miss Kazoo.”

“He’s gonna piddle all over the floor when we get home.”

“Without doubt. You’d think he’d have outgrown that by now.”

“I can’t judge him,” Jamie joked as he laid back on the blanket. “The stars are coming out.” Amanda laid down next to him and put her arm under his head.

“Do you know anything about the constellations,” he asked her.

“Sure. See that one right there?”

“Um, maybe?”

“Follow my finger. See? That’s Serafina, goddess of flowers.”

“What are some others?”

“Uh, hoo. Been a while. O! See those four? That’s the Square of Francesco.”

“Did you just make that up?”

“Yes,” Amanda giggled. “We learned them in school when I was real little. I never could pick them out.”

“Me neither. Ours, I mean, in our sky. Never saw many anyway, living in the city.” Jamie got quiet for a minute. “There should be one for us,” Jamie said.

“What do you mean?”

“A constellation. A Jamie Bear and a Manda Bear and a Mama Bear. The three of us. Up there forever.”

Amanda turned to look at him in the starlight. The weak light shone off a teardrop. “Jamie? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He turned onto his side, put his head on her breast and one leg and arm over her. He sniffled. Amanda knew what was wrong. It had hung over the entire trip, even though they tried not to let it. “I like this,” Jamie said. “Touching you.” Amanda stroked his hair.

“You sweet boy.” She lifted him so he lay all the way on top of her and pulled the blanket over them.

“I’m ready to help,” Jamie said.

“With what?”

“With the move. You finding a place. Getting you ready. I’m ready to, ya know, participate.”

“Baby Bear,” she said as she picked her head up to kiss him.

“You’re calling me that more often.”

“Am I?”

“Am I your Jamie Bear still, too?”

“Yes.” A tear ran down her cheek as her breath caught and her voice grew weak. “And you always will be.”

“I know this is hard for you too. And it will be for Mom. She doesn’t say it, but it is, but it has to be. We have to take care of her, too.”

“We will. You been thinking about this a lot?”

“I tried not to, but ... That never works or helps. What do you think it will be like?”

“What?”

“Your apartment.”

“O, well, first we’ll make sure you get your room set up just the way you want it. You can pick out all your own stuff. New crib. New chair. New changing table. You can decorate everything how you want. And in the other rooms, too, you can help decorate. It’s our home, both of ours.”

“Can Kazoo spend the night sometimes?”

“Yeah. I’ve been looking at places that allow dogs.”

“You’ve been looking already?”

“Some. But we’ll make the final choice together.”

“Where are you looking? Close ... Or far?”

“Near school. Close enough to walk.”

“Hmm.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Just a different part of town. But change is ... Well, that’s life, isn’t it? Guess I didn’t think there’d be much change here. Kinda figured my life would be pretty much constant after I got here. But that was naïve.”

“Not so much will change.”

“We’ve never been apart a whole day before.”

“I know ...”

“If it wasn’t for you ...” Jamie sighed. “I don’t know how everything would have turned out.”

“Fine. It would’ve turned out fine, because you’re such a strong person, and because Mom loves you.” They lay in each other’s arms in silence for a few minutes.

“And another thing,” Jamie said. “I’m sorry I’ve been so jealous of the men in your life. I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone.”

“I like that you’re jealous sometimes, Jamie Bear. It lets me know I’m important.”

“Sometimes, heh,” he chuckled, “sometimes it feels like you’re my little sister. You are younger than me, after all. And ...” he sighed. “You’re growing up. You have grown up. Guess I never fully understood how hard it is for parents, older siblings.”

“You are so sweet,” she said proudly. Who wouldn’t adore a little who thought of himself as the big brother?

“Maybe I don’t need a crib,” Jamie said. “At your house, I mean.”

“You want a bed instead?” She wasn’t sure how she felt about that, but she knew Becky wouldn’t like it. That was a talk they hadn’t had yet, keeping his routine and the rules consistent between their households

“No. I meant I’d just sleep like this. With you.” He snuggled in tighter.

“Mmm. Most nights you can … Why are you ready now?”

“Hmm?”

“Why are you ready to participate now?”

“Because it’s just time. I did the pouty little thing for a while, then the denial thing. It’s happening ... You’ll still be home sometimes too though, right? I mean, at our house?”

“I’ll be over all the time.”

“I mean sleeping over. Like Harvest Day, Christmas.” Jamie didn’t like the idea of Manda’s room not being her room anymore.

“Definitely. I wouldn’t miss seeing Santa with you for anything.”

“And maybe we can have a weekly thing we always do together, all three of us.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Breakfast one weekend morning a week.”

“I like that idea.” They laid quietly for a while more. It was getting chilly.

“How will it work,” he asked.

“What?”

“What days I’ll be at your house and what days I’ll at home?”

“They’re both your home. And we don’t know yet. We wanted to figure that out together, the three of us.”

“I have an idea. Might be too much work though.”

“What?”

“Every other night. Mom picks me up from daycare for the night and drops me off in the morning, you pick me up the next day.”

“Why do you like that?”

“Because then we still see each other every day. I don’t want to go a whole week without seeing you.”

“Hmm. We’ll talk to Mom about it.”

“We need to take care of her. She’s gonna be real sad. She’d be sad anyway, her daughter moving out. I don’t like the idea of her waking up in an empty house.”

“Me neither,” Manda said. But she knew it was just a part of life for all of them. “We’ll take good care of her. The both of us.”

“Good.”

“Let’s look at more stars and just enjoy the last night of our trip, hmm?” She put her arms around him under the blanket.

“Good idea,” Jamie said. He left his head on Manda’s chest and closed his eyes.

“Ya can’t see ‘em like that, silly bear.”

“I know. I just like this more than all the stars.”