Done Adulting Vol. 1 Ch. 133

At the boardwalk, Becky and Amanda were pacing to keep warm. “They’ve been gone more than an hour,” Amanda said.

“It was your idea. It’s not like they got eaten by aquatic mammals.”

“Jamie is an aquatic mammal; they probably offered to take him home,” Amanda retorted. “O, here they come.” Jamie and Cheryl were walking back the way they’d left, hand in hand.

“So friggin’ cute,” Becky said.

He’s already got a girlfriend, Amanda wanted to respond, I think – Possibly just friend with benefits.

“You guys get lost,” Becky called out. Amanda and Becky crossed the distance to them in just five steps. Becky knelt down in front of Jamie and felt his cheeks. “Ooo, you are freezing,” she said and began to rub his back. “You guys ready to go home? Get some hot food?”

“Sounds great,” Cheryl said. Amanda noticed her shivering and instinctively picked her up, realizing after the fact what she’d done.

“Sorry,” she said still holding her, “You looked cold.”

“It’s okay, Manda. I am.”

“Aww, Jamie taught you his name for me.” Amanda rubbed her back like Becky rubbed Jamie’s. Becky picked Jamie up, and the four of them walked back to the car.

Back at home, Becky whispered to Jamie as she was getting him out of his car seat, “It’s nap time after lunch, okay?”

“I know,” he whispered back. He was ready for it, and he imagined Cheryl must be, too. She was fighting jet lag on top of the longer days. The warm house felt good, and it only made Jamie and Cheryl, and Becky and Amanda, more tired.

“How about something simple for lunch,” Becky suggested. “Grilled cheese and tomato soup?”

“That sounds perfect,” Jamie answered.

“I’m not sure I can offer you anything warm to change into,” Amanda said to Cheryl. “Except maybe some of Jamie’s pajamas.” The seat and cuffs of her jeans were wet from the snow and sand, as were her socks. “But I can put those in the dryer for you.”

“I’m going to take a nap after lunch anyway,” Jamie added.

“I’d like to take a nap, too, if that’s okay.”

“Of course,” Becky said. “You can use my bed if you’d like.”

“C’mon, let’s get you two fixed up,” Amanda said. They followed her back to the nursery, and once again Amanda and Jamie slipped inside. Amanda picked out two pair of pajama pants and two tops for Jamie and Cheryl. “Be right back,” she told Jamie.

She went back into the hallway and found Cheryl leaning against the wall next to the bathroom with her backpack. “These should work,” she said without handing them over and walked into the bathroom. Confused, Cheryl followed her, and Amanda closed the door.

“Um, yeah,” Cheryl asked.

“I just wanted to ask if you needed help, ya know, if you had to …”

“Pee?”

“Yeah.” Cheryl unzipped her bag and took out a portable urinal.

“O, thank goodness. I ... We had a plan, but I don’t think you would have liked it.”

“Did it involve you holding me under the armpits? No, I wouldn’t have liked that ...” She looked at the toilet, the rim of which was several inches above her waist, and it was wide enough she wasn’t sure she’d be able to sit on it even if she splayed her legs as wide as she could. “Jamie is wearing a diaper, isn’t he,” Cheryl surmised.

Amanda didn’t know how to answer. She’d promised Jamie she’d be discreet, but it didn’t make much sense to lie now. Instead, she asked, “What makes you think that?”

“There’s no step stool for him in here. There’s no seat attachment for him. So he either uses a different bathroom just for the toilet,” she said nodding toward the bath toys not quite hidden behind the shower curtain, “or he has a potty chair in his room, which would make no sense, or ...”

“I hope you’re not ... I hope you don’t think less of him for it.” That Amanda’s concern was for how Cheryl knowing would impact Jamie was heartening.

“Of him? No. I’ve been to Itali before; I know how bigs are with littles. How does he feel about it?”

“I’ve offered a couple times to take him out of them. Or rather, to get Mom to. He’s always declined.” That wasn’t the entire truth, but it was the relevant truth now.

“Can I ask why he’s in them at all?”

“At first, Mom was convinced he needed them. She just assumed a little needs them.”

Cheryl shook her head, having never grasped how an entire species, so it seemed, could be that way, harboring all kinds of objectively incorrect ideas about another species fully capable of explaining how their bodies work and how they live. Did they just imagine that littles crossed through the portal and lost control of their functions, or that being adopted did it, or that only littles who adopt themselves out had that problem, or did they think that in their entire dimension all humans wore diapers, and if so, what did they think independent littles did? It defied logic, and their continued belief in it defied logical explanation.

“And now,” Cheryl asked.

Amanda deflected, choosing to interpret it as a question about Jamie’s needs rather than what her mother believed to be true. “Now I think he sorta does need them, kind of, at least sometimes … I hope you’re not upset with us.”

“That depends. Does he want them because he needs them or because he likes them?”

“He likes that they make us closer. He certainly doesn’t look uncomfortable with it anymore. I’ve never directly asked him if he likes them, though.”

“I’m gonna ask him,” Cheryl said plainly.

“And if he says no?”

“Then we’ll figure it out.” Amanda wanted to know what that meant, but she didn’t want to start getting defensive. That wouldn’t help anything.

“Do you, uh, need anything else,” Amanda asked instead.

“No, just to change.” Amanda didn’t move.

“It really ... It doesn’t bother you?”

“Anything that Jamie is okay with, I’m okay with, but I need to hear him say it.” Amanda wasn’t sure if she was talking to Cheryl, Jamie’s friend, or Cheryl the Caseworker. Amanda left her to change.

Jamie was wondering what was taking so long. He’d decided to use his diaper while he waited, and he was growing impatient. He’d already undressed himself down to just his t-shirt and long underwear bottoms. Amanda finally came back. “Let’s you cleaned up,” she said as she shut the door gently. Amanda got him changed and was pulling on his pajama bottoms when she said, “You know your diaper is gonna be obvious in these, right?”

“Yeah, but I think that’s okay. I don’t think she’ll even say anything …”

Amanda knew that wasn’t true, but she didn’t want to tell him so. “I guess that means you guys had a good talk.”

“We did,” Jamie smiled.

“Well, do you mind if I let her in?”

“I guess not.” Jamie sat up, and she got his shirt on him before helping him down. Amanda opened the door and let Cheryl in.

“I’ll go see how Mom’s doing.”

“You look cute,” Jamie said upon seeing Cheryl in his pajamas that were a size-and-a-half too big for her.

“So do you,” she smiled. Jamie tried to discreetly tug his shirttail down and move quietly. He was pretty sure she’d be fine with it, but he didn’t feel a need to advertise his underpants to find out.

For her part, Cheryl wanted to know what Jamie thought of his undies, both as a friend and as his caseworker. If this was something he wasn’t okay with, she could do a lot to change it. Marsha, she figured, hadn’t even thought to ask, being of the same mind as Becky. However Jamie felt, Cheryl would for sure be raising that issue with Marsha’s boss. “Mind if I ask you a personal question,” she asked.

“We’ve been doing that all morning,” Jamie tried to play it off.

“You wear diapers now, don’t you?” She pointed toward the changing table. Jamie rubbed his forehead, a little in embarrassment but mostly because he felt stupid, having been so focused on his own appearance he hadn’t thought about the obvious piece of furniture behind him, and so focused on the diaper issue he’d forgotten to be embarrassed at all by the crib or rocking chair or the childish rug beneath his feet.

“Y-y-yes.”

“Do you need them?”

“Some-sometimes. I ... I’ve been ... I sorta stopped noticing when ...”

Cheryl closed the door behind her and put her arms around Jamie long enough for him to take a deep breath. “Don’t be embarrassed. It’s still me; still Cheryl.”

“I’m ... I kinda figured you wouldn’t judge, after our talk this morning. But I’m still, ya know, now that it’s ...”

“Officially not a secret?”

“Yes.”

“Are you okay with it?”

“It not being a secret?”

“That they made you use diapers.”

“I wasn’t at first, but now ...”

“I can make it stop.”

This part, admitting how he felt, Jamie did find embarrassing. “I’m fine with it,” he said.

“Just fine? I need a little more commitment than that.” She didn’t mean to force him to say it, but she needed him to show it was what he wanted, both to feel good about it and to feel it wasn’t something she had to pursue as his caseworker. She didn’t want to make him do all the work though, so she posed a yes-or-no question for him. “Do you prefer to continue this way?”

Jamie turned his face away, quietly answering, “Yes.” He didn’t say anything else for a moment. “You want to know why,” he guessed.

“Only if you want to tell me.”

“I guess I like the attention. It’s just ... another way they ... show their love for me. And it doesn’t ... After you get over what it is, it even feels ...” It was both harder and easier for Jamie to talk about then he’d imagined it would be.

“Good,” Cheryl asked.

Jamie nodded and said, “And I like the time I get to spend with them because of it; it’s intimate ... Sometimes we even have our most important conversations while they, ya know.”

“Wipe your tushy?” The caseworker was done for the day, and the friend was on full duty again.

“Don’t make fun of me. This is hard,” he said, sounding hurt.

She took his hand. “I’d never make fun of you. If you like it this way, then I do, too. It even makes sense to me, what you said.” Or at least most of it did. She leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. “You even look cute.” Jamie blushed. “Can I see your butt,” she asked with a sly grin.

Jamie turned around. “See? Not much to see.” Except a somewhat square and very cute diaper butt. She gave him a swat. “Hey! Why does everyone feel the need to do that?”

“It’s just irresistible!”

“You’re really not ... You don’t even seem surprised.”

“Like I said, I’ve been here before. You’re not my first client I’ve visited here and found in a diaper. I’ve interviewed returnees. I knew it was a possibility.”

“More like a probability.”

“Are you mad I didn’t tell you?”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because I knew it ultimately wasn’t a big deal. I figured if it was something that happened and you weren’t okay with it, you’d either find a way to put a stop to it or tell Marsha ... Who I’m gonna talk to our bosses about ... Anyway, I thought it was more important that you come here, and I didn’t want to let something like this possibly derail that.”

“So, basically, everybody decided diapers were best for me, on my behalf,” Jamie frowned.

“You are mad.”

Jamie sighed. “No, I guess not.” Cheryl opened her arms, and Jamie accepted the invitation for a hug. He decided to give her a playful swat on her butt.

“Hey!”

“Well, everybody does it to me! Since it’s not a secret, I’m okay sharing my crib if you wanna take a nap with me,” he said hopefully.

In the kitchen, Amanda opted not to say anything about Cheryl’s discovery to her Mom. She wasn’t sure if her mom would even understand why it was new information to Cheryl, or whether she would just mentally skip over the questions it raised. Cheryl and Jamie walked into the kitchen.

“O good, you guys put on socks. Sorry I forgot,” Amanda said.

“I made you some warm milk, Jamie,” Becky said gesturing toward his place at the table.

“Ooo, can I get one of those?” Jamie’s face cycled through eight shades of red before arriving at crimson.

“It’s, uh …”

“I know what it is,” Cheryl said, sparing him the embarrassment of saying it. “Do you guys have any formula?”

“You’ve had formula,” Amanda asked in surprise.

“I don’t think you bigs fully fathom how good that stuff is to us. I’m taking two cases of the powder home with me.”

“You could probably make some money selling that on the street,” Jamie joked.

“I should have it reverse-engineered and go into business. I’d be the richest woman in history by the end of the year.”

“Why don’t you,” Becky asked.

“Because any formula I have analyzed is formula I don’t get to drink.”

“Coming up,” Amanda said, getting the canister of powder out of the cabinet.

When lunch was over, Jamie said, “If it’s alright, Cheryl is going to share my crib with me.”

“That’s fine,” Becky told him. The food and the milk and the walk and the warm house had both littles drowsy. Becky filled a bottle with water for Jamie and Cheryl like she did at every nap time and led both sleepy littles to the nursery. She helped them each into the crib, surreptitiously, or so she thought, checking Jamie’s diaper as she did so. She meant to be discreet but couldn’t help herself; it just wouldn’t be right to put Jamie down for a nap in a wet diaper, and Becky liked to think Cheryl, as his caseworker, would think well of her for being conscientious.

“Sleep tight,” Becky said as she turned off the light.

“I recognize this little guy,” Cheryl said as she picked up Jamie’s bear.

“You wanna snuggle with him? He won’t mind,” Jamie assured her.

“I wanna snuggle with you.”

“That’s the formula talking.”

“No, it’s not.” She felt she was sitting on something, reached under herself and pulled out one of his pacifiers. She smiled at him. “You want it?”

“I can do without,” he yawned, which made her yawn.

“C’mere,” she said, opening her arms, “I wanna snuggle with Jamie Bear.” He scooched closer, and she made herself the big spoon.