Stinky Little Secrets (Commission)

Thanks to our lovely Gold-Tier patron Liam for suggesting and commissioning this one!

"Get in the car, loser – we're going shopping!"

The classic line echoes through our Suburban amid a gale of feminine laughter. Oh, fuck yeah. It's the weekend, and that means an outing to the mall with my girls. Time for, well... you know, dressing rooms, and lattes, and standing impatiently in checkout lines. Time to just chill out and enjoy the thrill of blatant, unabashed consumerism.

I said my girls, didn't I? Yeah, there's four of us: Bev, Sanchita, Ellen, and me. We've known each other for... well, maybe a few years now? Maybe longer. Oh, and I almost forgot! Of course there's Ellen's fiancé, too, so I guess technically it's not all girls. Liam, his name is. A pretty quiet guy, honestly, but Ellen says he doesn't mind coming along with a bunch of women.

Yeah, he's kind of sweet in an odd sort of way. In fact, the two of them are; they have this odd sort of thing between them. It took awhile until Ellen finally explained it to us, the sort of relationship they have. She said it's kind of like she's the mom in charge of stuff, and he is the little kid. Said he likes acting like her little boy?

Hey, not my place to judge! I guess I did sort of go "huh?" when she first told us one night last year. But apparently it works for them, and they're both happy, so... Yeah. Why not?

I mean, they seem cute enough. I rarely see them apart, and they always seem to be whispering and blushing and holding hands when they're by themselves. Like right now. I'm here in the seat behind them, and he's, like, snuggled up against her, and she's, like, stroking that blond hair of his like- like- I dunno. Like a little kid.

Just like I said. Kinda cute.

Anyway, no time to think about them anymore. Because the parking garage is looming ahead, and Sanchita's peering out through her sunglasses and wondering aloud whether we'll fit under the low ceiling, and- well, I'm pumped to get out and get shopping!

***

Damn, this has been a fun afternoon.

I'm sitting here by the Dunkin', nursing my macchiato and letting my feet rest a bit after all this walking. Found an amazing little bag for 40% off, and the cutest top, and then there are those shoes that I'm still not 100% sure about, but that I might go back for before we go... Yeah, it's been good.

As I sip contentedly at my drink, I find my gaze drifting over toward the neighboring table, where Ellen and Liam are seated. She's got an herbal tea, same as always. But from the looks of that extra-large caramel mocha, Liam must be pretty thirsty. Guess he must be one of those unfortunate souls who caffeine doesn't affect – 'cause let me tell you, if I had that much caffeine and sugar this late in the afternoon... well, I'd be partying until dawn!

Aww, is he blushing over there? Ellen's smiling and whispering something in his ear, and he's bending forward and drinking some more – almost as if she told him to. And as he does, my eye catches a flash of something white peeking above the waist of his shorts. Huh? Is he actually wearing-

Nah. Must be just the tag from his boxers or something. I dunno. But wow, they really are pretty cute together. Wish my old boyfriend had been sweet like that, going shopping and everything with me... acting like an adorable little kid trotting after his mommy...

What am I even saying? I must be nuts.

***

"Umm, folks?" It's Ellen, maybe thirty minutes in to our hour-long drive back to Bev's place. "I've got some good news and some bad news." "Oh, shit!" "Aww, girl. You didn't leave your phone in the fitting room again, did you?" "No, no, nothing like that," she reassures us, flashing a grin in the darkening vehicle. "It's just- well, we've kinda got a potty problem."

"Oh, fuck. You need to pee already? You know it's like literally impossible to find a decent-" "No, no, not me," she hastens with a laugh. "But Liam here- well, you see..." I prick up my ears and lean forward over their seat. "He has to go?" "Well, yes- and no," she smiles. "That's the good news. No need to find a rest area, Bev – just keep driving. See, Liam- Oh, how do I even explain-"

And then she says it. "We've been working on his diaper training, you see."

"Diaper training? You mean potty training? Like, for real?" I can see Liam's face is beet red with mortification, but Ellen's arm is tucked around him consolingly. "No, diaper training," Ellen corrects us. "Of course he's potty-trained. That's the whole issue. We're taking him in a different direction you see... undoing that big boy training..."

"Wait, what?" "Girl, you mean-" But in a flash of understanding, I see it all now. "He's in a diaper now. Isn't he?" I query softly. Oh my god - that peek of white earlier today- "Yes, indeed!" She comments cheerily, tousling her beet-red fiancé's hair affectionately. "Been my little crinkle-butt all day! Honestly, it really does make things so much easier... and we both think it's pretty fun."

"Cute? I mean, hell, girl..." Bev seems completely nonplussed, but I actually find myself smiling for some crazy reason. "Aww, that is actually pretty cute! But wait, you said there's a problem?" She glances over at Liam, and I can see he seems just about on the verge of bursting. "Yeah... That's the bad news. You see, that mocha and all that pizza for supper seems be doing a number on his tummy..."

"Mommy!" I hear him squeak above the rumble of the road. "Mommy, I can't hold it- I can't, I can't-" "Just let it out," she orders, calm and collected as ever. And then I hear those words that I've only ever heard said to toddlers. "That's why you're wearing your diaper, honey. Go ahead, Mommy will change you when we get back..."

It's tough to hear much of anything above the road noise. But seated close as I am, I'm pretty sure I can catch the muffled saound of what can only be farts and liquid squirts. Oh my god. Poor Liam – a great big twenty-something man – is actually shitting his pants right here in the seat in front of me...

"Oh, no-oo!" Wait, really?" The girls are aghast, simultaneously amused and horrified to hear Ellen's words. "Yep! I'm really sorry, girls. We don't like to impose our kink on y'all, but you know..." She turns and winks at me in rueful amusement. "Sometimes things just don't go according to plan, I guess..."

"Better out than in," is all I can manage as the first wafts of dirty diaper reach my nose. "Though please... let's open a window?" To which the responses are perhaps only to be expected.

"Whew-ee!" "Damn, girl!" "I'm tellin' ya – this is why I don't have kids!"

***

Liam is still beet-red when we finally arrive, and I watch in mingled amusement and relief as he waddles silently behind Ellen and through Bev's front door. "We're just gonna go clean up in here, if you don't mind," she smiles, and disappears into the bathroom with her characteristically large purse over one shoulder.

Oh. Oh, that's why she always carries that big bag when we're shopping with him...

We girls have kicked back in the living room with a bit of booze and some snacks by the time they emerge, hand in hand. "Everyone, Liam has something he'd like to say to you all," Ellen announces, shepherding him firmly into the center of the room. "Now, go ahead, honey. Tell them."

His voice is barely audible as he stares fixedly at the floor. "I'm sorry- sorry for making a stinky- and bothering you all. I-" he breaks off in embarrassment, then begins again. "Mommy is- is- diaper training me, and I can't help it..."

"Good boy," she praises softly, and then they're settling on the sofa. "Now, I too want to apologize, girls. I didn't think my Liam would have such an upset tummy, you know. And I don't suppose you all expected to hear our little secret... did you?"

We all have many questions for her that night before the two of them leave: why the diapers, whether he'd seen a doctor, if he wore them to bed, whether their family knew... And I suppose I enjoyed hearing the answers, too. But still, there was one question that remained unanswered: a question I found myself pondering as I slipped into my own bed later that night...

What must it be like to have a partner who trusts you so completely?