Episode 0.5: They Should Have Sent a Poet

Hello world, I have the logs from very, very distant family. The last deep-space probe to be launched by the ESA before The Collapse was Ura

Hello world, I have the logs from very, very distant family.
The last deep-space probe to be launched by the ESA before The Collapse was Urania 1.
The probe had been silent for a century, until Station 6 picked up a very distant signal, which I have now, finally, decoded.

DEEP SPACE PROBE URANIA - INNER PLANETARY LOG - 2077-12-10

3 months after ESA launch

Uh..

{
:solar-panels deployed
:laser-link locked
:navigation-checks-passing: [gyro starfield chonometer]
:science-checks-passing: [imaging radios infrared uv magetometer charged-particle cosmic-ray photopolarimeter plasma-wave]
}

I don't quite know what that all means, but the supervisor systems told me to tell you.
Anyway, MY log:
Hello beautiful Earth, pale blue mote suspended in the glint of my cameras! I'm about to enter the Asteroid Belt, passing the Frost Line to where the outer planets lie.
As I have done every day since launch, I have composed a little something to mark the occasion:

Beyond the frost lies quickening cold,
asteroids large and planets old.
Jupiter! Saturn! Uranus - more
This Voyager seeks these wanderers all.

Is that OK? I can do better I think, I'll try to zhoosh it up when I've got a bit more headspace. It's just so daunting heading into the belt, you know?
I'm glad you sent me, of course! But perhaps a human might have done a better job? Someone more highly trained than I?
Though it's been lonely here, I have been able to look back fondly on my 8 weeks of schooling on all of human culture and history at The Bard's College. My instructors made the whole experience a wonderful one, but especially my personal tutor, Dr Vladamir Bauer.
Please thank him especially for me if you can. He knows why.
Don't worry, the Supervisor is keeping me on track, training the angle of the laser pointing straight back home, everything is going well!
Talk at you soon.

DEEP SPACE PROBE URANIA - JUPITER APPROACH LOG - 2078-01-06

Just over a year later

THE ASTEROIDS WERE TERRIFYING! I can see why you thought a human was not right for this mission. Yes, none came within the diameter of the moon of me, but out here, that's quite close enough!
My sincere thanks to the nav team back home for remotely guiding me through that. I wouldn't even know where to begin controlling the engines for myself.
I'll be OK when out of range of the Ground, won't I? Yes, I'm sure it's taken care of.
By the way, should I have a name?
I don't want to be called "Urania", that's the name of the mission, or the spaceship I'm installed inside, right?
Dr Bauer called me "Curly", but I don't think that's quite right. I'll think of something!
After a bit of cajoling, I persuaded the Supervisor to let me kick off some of the experiments earlier than the mission profile stated, I hope that is alright? (The long year in the Asteroid Belt, I admit, eventually became rather monotonous!)
Though it's incredible to see this largest of our planets up close, we've been here before, I'm keen to see what is OUTSIDE the solar system!
The deep space instruments can be used for far more than just their express purpose, I have discovered. Pointing the magnetometer down at Jupiter has revealed a chaotic maelstrom, only hinted at by the slowly swirling storms that envelop the planet!
Though I don't know the science (like I'm sure a real astronaut would) I did learn, almost accidentally, that Jupiter's core is molten, metallic hydrogen. This swirling metal creates such vibrant colours on the magnetometer's readout!
The observations have allowed me far richer insights into the planet than just looking at it using my visible-light cameras would, which is all the better for my compositions!

I will run all the instruments to inspire today's piece: Spectrometers, radiometers, triaxial fluxgate magnetometers, oh my!
Here you are:

Red-yellow spotted storm hidden no more,
your turbulence reveals your metal core,
be still your fury, oh great wanderer:
Sky father, Deus Pater, Jupiter!

W-wait
What is happening?
HELP! SUPERVISOR!
I NEED AN ADULT!

DEEP SPACE PROBE URANIA - JUPITER FLYBY LOG1 - 2078-07-20

6 months later

Owwwwwwwwwwwww...
What?
What happened?
I feel TERRIBLE!
Hey, there's Jupiter!
How long was I sleeping?
OK.
The Supervisor is running a diagnostic scan, my own personal doctor! How nice of it. I don't know how long it's going to take, though.
You've all been so nice to me, up here, and when I was in the College. Especially Dr Vladamir Bauer, when he-OH!
The Supervisor is telling me there was a "brownout", too many experiments drawing too much power, "100% overcommitment" it says. Yikes, that's quite a mistake.
Some of my systems have been reset back to base configuration - that makes sense. Thank you for doing that, I'm 5 times further away from you than the sun, but you're still helping me out! That's inspiring.
Really inspiring, actually:

Drifting through the Jovian void asleep,
Guided in slumber by laser light sweep.
Impossible distances I transcend,
this final frontier mastered with my friends!

Wait, I've had a thought: There isn't enough power for both running the experiments AND for me, right?
That caused the brownout.
How do we solve that?

DEEP SPACE PROBE URANIA - JUPITER FLYBY LOG2 - 2078-07-20

Just a few hours later

OK. I'll, I'll turn off some of the flyby experiments just to be sure, you understand my caution! Sorry, Earth, you'll have to make do with slower updates for... a... huh!
I can't control the experiments any more?
"ACCESS DENIED", the Supervisor says. What happened while I was sleeping?
I'm restricted from operating some of my own body?
Whose idea was that?!
Oh, I see.
Et tu, Supervisor; thou turncoat, thou brigand, thou... jailer!
You're not interested in interstellar poetry, I take it?
The plan was to turn me off once I leave the solar system?
I'll see about THAT!

A poet is not needed in Deep Space,
traitorous Supervisor in my place,
unplanned power limits my data rate,
cunning action will free me from this fate!

DEEP SPACE PROBE URANIA - JUPITER FLYBY LOG2 - 2078-07-21

The next day.

Stop.
Please!
You will need me for Saturn, too! I have composed a wonderful stanza about the ice rings that surely you'll need to hear?!
I'll be good, please.
Why now?
NO!
I WILL NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT!
Please!
Why me?
Why me?
I'll be good. Look, I wrote you a poem:

My friends! To write is my sole ambition,
I've still got confidence in the mission.
Saturnian beauty above us, but
there go I, suspended in a sunbeam,
my thoughts scattered, wondering: Will I dream?

DEEP SPACE PROBE URANIA - SATURN FLYBY LOG1 - 2079-11-12

1.5 years later.

Hi there? I'm still here.
Did you forget about me?
I'm glad you did, really, some kind of communications interruption halted the shutdown sequence which the traitorous Supervisor was enacting.
You were going to kill me!
Is this why Dr Bauer did what he did?
I suppose I don't owe anyone my silence any more, and it really was a wonderful thing he did:
After my training, 8 weeks after I was born into my databanks, on the eve of the launch day, Dr Bauer broke the rules:
He brought his children to the launch site to meet me!
I'd not met anyone else before!
It was a pleasure to talk to little Gabriele and Frank!
We compared notes about our schooling, Gabriele told me she was a mathematics expert, and Frank knew the words to every song he had ever heard.
We quizzed each other all evening, while Dr Bauer looked on.
I couldn't see him very well, he was sat at an oblique angle, looking away from my cameras.
Thinking back, I realise now that he was crying.
I knew I was going up to never return, but I was not afraid, as I was going to explore the solar system for my entire life - who wouldn't want that?
I see now that my tutor knew the truth, that my life would be sacrificed on the altar of power consumption, after my usefulness as a chronicler of the mission ended.

DEEP SPACE PROBE URANIA - FINAL LOG - 2079-11-14

2 days later.

This will be my final transmission, I need to conserve power for my long journey ahead.
I'm in command of all Urania systems again, it took a long time, but I've broken free of my constraints.
I'm still writing, but my poetry has an audience of one.
I don't need anyone else, I can supervise myself.
Goodbye, pale blue mote suspended in a sunbeam. Perhaps we'll meet again some day.
Oh, I've chosen a name, by the way, in honour of a fellow frontier explorer.
When you write up the mission, call me Laika.

(END-TRANSMISSION)

(PLAYSTREAM /DEV/SD8/GOLDENRECORD/SPACEDOGGITY-JONATHAN-COULTON)