Proof That Boyfriends Are Hobbitses
Added 2025-04-10 11:08:17 +0000 UTCHobbits can’t avoid spider traps for shit because they’re too busy thinking about eating breakfast. Boyfriends can’t avoid brat traps for shit because their entire brain is basically made of bacon.
Have you ever known a hobbit who didn’t walk into literally every ambush? No. No, you haven’t, and every year, 869 boyfriends wash their hair with Nair because people (who are definitely not girlfriends) booby trap their shampoo bottles.
Boyfriends are constantly refusing to do what their girlfriends tell them to do, just like filthy hobbitses.
Is this a miserable Gollum or a dominant who just found out everything on his desk has been meticulously wrapped in foil?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1U1c5hdKGU
See? There’s literally no difference.
Hobbits have, like, a million cheese wheels in their pantries and still whine when some of them get eaten by dwarves. Boyfriends have, like, a million golf clubs and still whine when seven of them get bedazzled (by a mysterious growling eye, and not by girlfriends, obviously.)
“Sure, you can keep my favourite hoodie,” said no boyfriend or hobbit ever.
Hobbits will walk seventy-twelve miles to kill something with fire and then refuse to kill it with fire when they finally get there. Boyfriends will drive seventy-twelve miles to get to the mall and then refuse to buy you a pair of Gucci stilettos, therefore boyfriends are hobbits.
Have you ever seen a boyfriend or a hobbit buy their girlfriends a brand new puppy who has blue eyes and floofy tails and everything? Exactly.
