Why I Removed the "Looking For" Tab on My Profile

On Fetlife, everyone is looking for something or someone. The mindset is so integral to our online existence that it’s carved into our profiles with a carving knife under the “general info” tab. We’re supposed to be looking for subs or doms or friends or mentors. Isn’t that why this site exists?

Me? I’m just looking for the perfect slice of bacon and maybe a little world peace.

I receive a lot of mail from interesting people, and most of them are baffled by my inability to tell them what I’m looking for. “Nothing” is not an answer they understand. I’m here, aren’t I? That’s got to mean I want or need something. Doesn’t everyone want something they don’t have? Aren’t we all supposed to engage with every awesome person who passes us by?

Well, no. I don’t arrive in front of strangers with hands full of need. I already have what I need. I could definitely use a little more rope and belts in my life, but for the moment, I’d rather focus on The Single Life…

… and bacon. Don’t forget the bacon.

I’m not looking for play partners. I find BDSM to be too intimate for casual encounters.

I’m not the online dating type. I tried it once. It used up all the energy I’d kept in reserve for bacon hunting.

I’m not looking for love. Romance might be nice, but I’m going to stretch out this single phase as much as I can because I’m having the time of my life.

I’m not looking for friendship. I have the best friends anyone could wish for. I spend all my social time on them and the amazing acquaintances I’ve already met on this site.

I’m not looking for a flat screen TV from an Amazon wish list. When I want things, I buy them… well… except for the perfect slice of bacon because that doesn’t arrive in your house all sizzly and delicious. That’s a clear design flaw, but what can a girl do?

I’m not even looking for a mentor. I already have a few of those.

I have everything I need. I feel guilty saying it because a part of my monkey brain thinks I must have something to give every person I meet. The truth is nobody has much fun in my inbox these days. If we’ve never engaged before, we’re unlikely to ever engage. I notice that you’re awesome. Believe me, I do, but every hour I spend on an awesome stranger is one less hour to spend with an awesome loved one.

I’ve removed the “looking for” tab on my profile. I am fulfilled.