Achieving the perfect SpanishRed Life is like solving the Navier-Stokes equation. While climbing Everest. On stilts. With Richard Dawkins screaming at you.

A dominant once tried to teach me a life lesson through the pain of a BDSM scene. I don’t participate in power exchange for the life lessons, but if I did, I would be damned careful that my dominant could live well himself. This top could not. The chaos of his existence muddied every aspect of his life from the career he’d never got around to nurturing to the crack house of a home he shared.

Achieving the perfect SpanishRed Life is like solving the Navier-Stokes equation. While climbing Everest. On stilts. With Richard Dawkins screaming at you.

My life is complicated. I must achieve balance if I’m to keep my chronic illness at bay. I must juggle 24-hour deadlines and keep my creativity burning because every day is writing day. Finally, I must stay on top of my depression. In any given week, I have to juggle blood tests, doctors’ visits, and deadlines, to say nothing of doggo love and friendships.

I’ve spent 28 years mastering that. I might not be the best person to manage your life, but I’m a pro with mine, so I balk when dominants brag about guiding their lowly subs towards a better quality of life.

No, I don’t trust you with that. It was never my kink anyway.

You’re not qualified to “help” me live well. Your discipline will only enhance your own self-esteem. You’re probably not what I look for in a mentor anyway.

I’m not a sub because I’m bad at my job or lack the social skills to maintain my friendships. The kinky framework I enjoy doesn’t negate my ability to build a lifestyle infrastructure either. Quite the opposite. If there’s one thing I know, it’s how to manage my quirky body.

Submission is a choice, not a form of incompetence. We might like to serve. We might like a particular brand of sex and a dominant partner, but none of these things translates into a need for guidance.

Even if your life is a grand success, you cannot know what living well means for me. If you want to be my life coach, please produce the appropriate paperwork and stop fucking me.