Hitachis in Crack
Added 2024-07-29 11:10:07 +0000 UTCI've been working through the posts I wrote when I was new to the kink scene. I turned up this one from 2016:
Today I got a Lelo wand.
A Lelo
fucking
wand!
Do you know what that is? That’s a Hitachi on crack.
The toys were a gift from a reader-turned-friend who found out I was the first woman who ever reached 40 without trying a vibrator. Yes. That really did happen.
I’m not the type to get overexcited, so when the store manager tried to have a conversation with me, I was as dignified and sophisticated as I always am.
Conversation with Overqualified Sex Toy Doctor with 10 000 PhDs
So what did you do to deserve this?
I wrote. <grins>
You what?
He likes my writing. <grins some more>
Wow. So what do you write?
A blog. <still grinning>
What’s on your blog?
Writing. <still grinning>
What do you write?
A blog.
I’m always demonstrably elegant in conversation. It’s because I’m so… what ‘s the word for being good at words? Eloquent! Yes, that’s me.
Once I’d said ‘a blog’ a third time, I raced out of the door because I’d just been informed that I would have to wait a total of four hours for the toys to charge before I could give myself a back massage. Why are you looking at me like that? That’s what Lelos are for.
My home looks like Horny Santa’s Christmas. Packaging everywhere, booklets and boxes and toys, oh, my!
No, four hours have not passed yet. Why do you think I’m writing this stupid post? Do you think I don’t know my priorities?
You know what they say about watching a kettle boil? Well, I’m going to watch them charge. See you next year.
