If you’re on Fetlife to other our sexualities, I have a whole list of vanilla sites that are dying to meet you.

These are the functional social networks and dating sites available to vanilla society:

FacebookTwitterPinterestYoutubeWeChatInstagramTikTokTelegramSnapchatWeChatKuaishouRedditLinkedInTruthSocialDreamWidthMeetUpThinkspotPatreonReddit

<direly-needed inhale>

QuoraDiscordTwitchTumblrTinderOkCupidPlentyofFishThreadsMastodonSnapChatFacebookMessengerWeChat

You get the idea. Let me just dab all this blood off of my keyboard.

These are the functional social networks for kinky society:

1. Fetlife.
2. Uh…

Sorry. That’s it. That’s all we get. ALT is a corrupt desert. Fetish.com has been tacked together with staples and duct tape. Submit has died a cruel and unusual death, so this, right here, is all we have. This is the only kink site with the numbers to sustain a sociable community. Like most kinksters, I’ve tried all the others. They’re bunk. This black and red universe is it.

Still, we welcome vanillas onto our planet. We don’t shame kinks or the absence thereof, so if you want to explore this little world, most people will welcome you.

There is one kind of vanilla who’s not like the rest, though: TheDudeWho’sHereToRescueAllTheMasochistsAndCallEveryoneMentallyIll. Let’s call him… oh, I dunno… Norman. When he signed up, Norman clearly thought that “FET life” couldn’t possibly be about FETishes. He tried all 60 million vanilla social networks on the web and found this to be the best space for his vanilla butt. He’s here to other us all for some mysterious reason.

He's here to tell the subs we’re being abused.

He’s here to tell the masochists we need better coping skills.

He’s here to call all the sadists “abusive.”

And, of course, he’s here to find sluts to shag because you know what those kinky women are like. They’ll fuck anything.</obvious sarcasm is obvious>

If you Google “Fetlife” you’ll be told that it’s “The world’s largest BDSM, Kink, and Fetish Community” just in case you were unsure of what a site modelled on the word “fetish” might be about.

This, right here, is Facebook for kinky people. It’s right there in the name. It’s not a vanilla dating site. We’re here to find events, connect with active kinksters, and post whatever enters our brain next. It might be kinky. It might be political. Fetlife is a box of chocolates. You never know what you’ll get—other than kink, obviously. We all love our kink ‘round these parts, but this isn’t suitable to Norman.

He’s here to dehumanize and objectify the millions of people who have nowhere else to go. It’s a little like making a pass at someone at their place of work. They have nowhere to escape to, so cornering them at Starbucks is an unfriendly move.

Norman has found Insta and Facebook inadequate for his vanilla needs, and he thinks we all need his therapeutic shame. He also thinks we should stop talking about gender politics because “this is a sex site.”

“Community” is defined as a “condition of sharing certain attitudes and interests.”

It isn’t defined as “a place to find easy pussy.”

Nor is it defined as “what Norman thinks it should be.”

Fet culture is built out of the kinky folk who are active here every day. This is one place that vanilla society shouldn’t get to change. Our kinky predecessors worked hard for this space. Society has tried to silence and criminalise us at every turn. Hell, we’re still controlled by FOSTA and the credit card companies, so you’ll forgive us for getting a little annoyed at Vanilla Steve and his pointing finger.

If you want to explore your sexuality here, most people will welcome you. If you’re here to other our sexualities, I have a whole list of vanilla sites that are dying to meet you.