Important Scientific Announcement on Brat Training
Added 2024-01-21 04:41:08 +0000 UTCI just watched Canine Intervention and learned that dogs are more trainable when they have a dopamine hit. As a totally real, not-even-a-little-bit-fake scientist, I’m deeply committed to spreading scientific knowledge throughout the world. Science has determined, through my TV viewing, that providing treats enhances brat training. Spoiling brats has thus become An Official Domly Activity and will be added to The Dominant Duties Almanac of 1974.
At 9:00 tomorrow morning, all brats will report to their boyfriends and girlfriends for treats. These may include, but are not limited to:
- Belgian chocolates, especially the ones with cinnamon in.
- Swedish massage.
- Cupcakes.
- A delivery of Tom Hardy to The Bratly Doorstep for an evening of… Scrabble? Yes, Scrabble. If he wriggles, just put him in a box.
- Red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and everything.
- A manicure and some Chanel, to be dabbed upon The Bratly Wrists.
- Horror movies and popcorn.
- Blowjobs.
- Caramel cupcakes.
- And cupcakes.
This list is entirely objective and formulated for all brats. It was not created for me alone as some of the peer review board have been suggesting. This is the only scientifically proven way to get your brat to do what they’re told. The statistics I invented prove that it will work 100% of the time. If you thought that failing to do what your brat tells you to do would ever, ever work, you're clearly pre-scientific and incapable of real research.
If you fail to provide luxurious libations, the scientific community will eject you from The Annual Dominant Awards race. Yes, there is such thing as The Annual Dominant Awards. Shush. Go get my chocolates.
