So You Think White Cis Men Don't Have Privilege Because You Suffer, Too...

South Africa experiences two hours of blackouts on most days, but when our power crisis becomes catastrophic, you can push that up to 14 hours a day. We call this loadshedding. If you’ve never been through it, you probably think of it as candles-and-Scrabble time. You’ve experienced power outages, so you know everything there is to know about the experience, right?

Well, no. You don’t know until you’ve lived it. How does loadshedding affect thee? Let me count the ways:

• Electrical hospital equipment becomes defunct and people die.
• You can’t get through to the police, so please choose a different timeslot for your attempted murder.
• Your phone lines and internet are often down, so check the loadshedding schedule before having a heart attack.
• The sheer frequency of power outages throws wi-fi signals into disarray even when there's power.
• You lose a tremendous amount of food.
• Profits drop. Sometimes entrepreneurs are forced to shut down their businesses permanently.
• Your economy achieves junk status.

You’re living in the dark ages literally and figuratively. If you’re not in a power crisis, you have a privilege I don’t have. If you haven’t experienced it, you can’t really know what that means. That’s how privilege works.

If you’re a straight, white cis man, you have privileges other demographics don’t have. You think you don’t, but you do. From your ivory tower, you just don’t understand the intricacies of living as a black, trans, or female-presenting person.

Countries that don’t have loadshedding have challenges, too. Ivory towers aren’t perfect. Sometimes, you have to share your tower with Donald Trump. <shiver> Sometimes, you have to deal with an ailing economy… or illness… or insufficient funds to put nice things on your crackers.

Life is a little bit shit for everyone. It's just the size of the shit pile that varies, so when we say you’re privileged, we don’t mean your life is perfect. We mean you don't experience all the challenges others do. If you need an ambulance, you can pick up your phone and call one. Having emergency services at the end of a telephone is a privilege not everyone gets.

You might also think you suffer just as much as black or trans people, but you probably don’t. You just haven’t experienced the intricacies of other people’s lives, so you don’t understand the size of their shit piles.

At this point in the privilege conversation, people usually begin screaming. It’s okay. <pat pat> Aunty Red can help. Privilege doesn’t make you a bad person. If you live in a country with an exceptional electricity supply, it doesn’t mean you’re a flawed human. You didn’t choose your living conditions or mine. Calling you privileged is not the same thing as holding you personally responsible for the South African power crisis. You were just born in a country less stupid than mine. My shitty government isn’t your fault.

Privilege doesn't make you a bad person. My brother is a straight white cis man, and he's the best creature who ever lived. If you insult my cis male bestie, I will also fucking end you.

When people draw attention to your privilege, it’s usually not an accusation. It’s a request for empathy and understanding. They're asking you to acknowledge the towering size of their shit piles. They aren't asking you to ignore your own.