Why I Reply To Every Wannafuck Message
Added 2023-12-16 05:57:34 +0000 UTC“It’s impolite not to reply when a man takes the time to write to you.” – Some sort of Norman or other
Yesterday I came home to a yuuuge pile of inbox spam: Prime Video now streaming! Travelstart Last Minute Black Friday Deals!!! Sale up to 50% off!!!! I’d planned a quiet evening with my husband, Tom Hardy, but it’s impolite not to respond to the messages you receive. I sent thank you letters to everyone in my inbox to tell them I appreciated their personal interest in me but would not be taking advantage of their offers. By the time I’d finished my replies, Tom had already eaten all the dinner, but politeness before pizza, that’s what I always say.
And don’t assume I only practice these ethics online. Some construction workers got heated over my red dress while I was passing their building site yesterday. I stopped to thank each of them for their interest individually and inform them that I would not be taking them up on their offer. It’s important that construction workers know where they stand with you, even if engaging with them makes you an hour late for your next meeting. When a man likes one of your body parts, he is immediately entitled to your time.
If he shows interest in you, he becomes Your Problem™. It doesn’t matter whether you solicited his attention. It doesn’t even matter if you have more important things to do because (listen closely) NOTHING IS AS IMPORTANT AS DUDEBROS WITH HARDONS.
When a stranger sends you an unsolicited message, they’re entitled to something from you because they saw a photo of your stilettoed feet and deigned to furnish you with The Holy Dudebro “HOW RU” message. Do you think they ignore their inbox spam? Of course not. Every How R U Guy writes back to the 100 brands in his promotions folder, and so should The Wimmenz.
Look, I’ll admit I’m getting behind on my everyday responsibilities. I haven’t done laundry all week, let alone caught up on Netflix. It takes time to refuse attentions, so I spend hours in my Fetlife inbox rejecting everyone who writes to me about their passion for my “feet! Mmmm!” Even so, being polite is important (unless you’re sending a “feet! Mmmm!” message, obviously).
When a dude writes to me about bewwwwwbbbbs, he’s expressing legitimate interest in my value as a person, so he deserves the same in return. Cum tributes are an altruistic gift designed to make you feel important, and "Mmmm wannafuck" translates into English as “I value your time and individuality.”
What I’m trying to say is that when dudebros or Amazon.com develop an interest in you and 3,000 other people, they deserve a “no thank you.” I don’t get to shag Tom Hardy as often as I should, but at least I go to sleep with a clear conscience knowing that I wrote 3,000 “no thanks” letters every day.
