Sean Äaberg

THE GOBLIN NEWSLETTER 84

Added 2024-09-17 16:39:44 +0000 UTC

Today is Katie’s birthday. I knew when I hit puberty that I was incomplete. Nothing I found could fill that hole. It was obvious to me that I was incomplete, I could see myself dying at 22 easily. I didn’t have a vision of my future. I didn’t know what I would be capable of when complete. Luckily I only had to endure that incomplete, empty, wandering feeling until I was twenty two. When me & Katie really connected in art school, it was obvious. We got engaged after a month. We both wanted to have kids, I remember her asking me early on if I wanted kids because she didn’t want to “waste time”. That kind of directness was invigorating. I moved into her apartment & bank account, she moved into my pobox. Decades, lifetimes later we have a whole new set of challenges to face but we face them together. It has taken me this long to see that this thing is a together. My inside screamed me against the world, I do therapy to help me to perceive my involvement as a partnership in a deep, emotional way. My rational mind knows that it hasn’t been Sean against the world maybe ever. But there is this little voice in my head that was convinced that my survival was due to this mentality. The reality is that my survival is due to Katie.