A Year in Review: My Year.

Despite the fact that this year included several years worth of events, it's of course still shocking to be staring down the barrel of another year. Time gathers momentum as I age and I doubt I'll ever get used to it.

So, here we are again - the time of year where this sappy cartoonist reflects on his year.

It's been a surreal year that's included so many bewildering career-firsts. At the end of it all, I stand exhausted but extremely grateful. I'm creatively exhilarated and overwhelmed. There are a lot of plates spinning and not a small risk of a broken dish.

Before we talk about my future projects in another post, I'm going to spend some time reflecting on the highlights of this past year.

I rung in the new year living in London with my partner. Living there gave us access to relatively cheap flights when compared to flying from North America. We took full advantage with a trip to Madrid to see a Ben Shahn exhibit at the Reina Sofia. Shahn remains a hugely influential artist to both of our individual art practices. I never imagined I'd get to see a career-wide retrospective of his work - let alone in Spain! By my estimation, Shahn seems to have been culturally relegated to the status of a "commercial illustrator" in North America. He had was a prolific illustrator alongside his painting and photographic practices.

Here are some of my favourites from the show:

His work references his own photography, which is social realist in its intent, mixed with evocative and enigmatic symbolism. I find the energy of his work to be intoxicating. It stylistically strikes a beautiful balance between observation and caricature.

While there, we also went to the Prado and saw The Garden of Earthly Delights in person (amongst many other very famous paintings). It was incredible to stand in front of this specific painting after spending my whole thesis year in university zooming into a high-resolution scan of it. In person, the painting still managed to surprise me. No photo can do a painting justice.

For those of you who weren't following me in 2019, my thesis project was called "The Summer Camp of Earthly Delights" and used imagery from the triptych to illustrate the emotional experience of summer camp. Needless to say, Bosch's work has meant a lot to me over the years.

Here are some illustrations from my thesis:

Seeing Pieter Brueghel the Elder's work in person was quite moving. We weren't allowed to take photos but I snuck one of a piece that absolutely blew me away.

Speaking of summer camp, in February I took the train to Paris and met some dear Canadian cartoonist friends before taking another train to Angouleme for the festival. I remain extremely grateful to have been chosen as one of the cartoonists representing British Columbia for an outdoor art display commemorating Canadian comics. My invitation included a few talks in the Canadian Pavillion. The Pavillion itself was a tent dedicated to Canadian comics right beside a larger-than-life statue of Herge's head. This tent served as a makeshift clubhouse for all the jet-lagged Canadian cartoonist's and publishers who had travelled for the event. It was wonderful to experience Angouleme while having the safety net of a home-base with a bunch of other anglophones. The fast-friendships felt like being at summer camp. It was an experience I count as a modest dream achieved.

It occurs to me that I've yet to really talk about Angouleme from a cartoonists perspective. Needless to say, it did not disappoint! It was surreal to be in a city completely over-run with comics! The event itself was more industry focussed than the North American festivals I am used to, with publishers selling books on behalf of creators and a lot of events catered towards schmoozing. I avoided this but did meet up with my French publishers for a meal or two. Overall, it was an incredible experience - I sold out of Blind Alley books and met some wonderful people.

If memory serves I was designing the Blind Alley figurines in February while finishing up the first chapter of Brambles. The figurines were a fun challenge to design and I ended up learning a lot about the manufacturing through Alice - specifically when it comes to what would & wouldn't be way too much effort to manufacture. My first batch of designs wasn't considering the manufacturing or printing process. For example, the design I did for a Ten figure, given all the distinct parts of his design, would be a ridiculous amount of work to produce:

Due to that, we went with Lula, Penny, and Pip (who still was an incredible amount of labour for Alice). I cannot speak highly enough of the quality of these figurines; Alice did a brilliant job and I have my fingers crossed we can find an economical way to one day do more of these. It was amazing seeing these 2D fellas become real!

Brambles was both rewarding and challenging. I am a big fan of figuring things out on the job which, for better and worse, means it took me a bit to find my footing with the strip. It feels expansive in a way that I don't necessarily allow myself to be with Blind Alley. Blind Alley is all about telling a story with some pretty rigid restraints whereas Brambles has a lot I want to get to with no specific parameters around it. Four panels? Six? Two pages? Four? Anything goes and I feel that could be a bit alienating. By the end of it, I had a strong sense of what I want it to be. I'm looking forward to sharing what's next for the wee-kin.

I was thrilled to be asked to contribute a story for the revival of Peow's Ex Mag. Peow was a huge publisher for me back when I was first getting into alternative comics in 2013. As for my story Zoonosis, I was reading a book about parasitic infection when I was approached which influenced the direction I took my vampire story. It's a story about the first vampiric infection and, while I am happy with how it turned out, it feels like a story that could have easily spanned anywhere from double to quadruple the page count. Anyways, working with Peow felt like getting to sit at the cool kids table for a little bit which I am ashamed to admit meant a lot to me as this mostly self-published naval gazing cartoonist.

Here are some sketches and a mood board from my pitch to Peow:

I find I can't write anything if I don't have some key visual moments in mind. A lot of these sketches end up being repeated in the final story. It's not that I was looking at these sketches while later drawing the book, but just that these moments felt like the keys to the whole story.

During last years "year in review" post, I mentioned I was pitching a story called Running with the Dogs. Since then, I worked on a formal script and pitch package. I'm stoked about the project but, in the time after pitching it, I started to feel it needed a bit more time to congeal. It's a complicated story with three protagonists and it's currently about too much. I find time away from projects to be incredibly clarifying so it's on the back-burner. Tundra agreed it needed a bit more work and in the meantime I was struck with another story idea - one that I felt much more clearly; the only child growing up amongst a strange cult, discovers there's a world beyond her island.

The pages I did for the pitch package of Running with the Dogs:

And then, somewhat suddenly, the release of The Gulf was upon me. I was pleased with the early reviews but the essay on The Beat by Arpad Okay stunned me; it made me feel I had written the book I had intended to, which is a very rare thing. I am extremely grateful that my book has been well received. This past fall it was even a finalist for the Governors General award for illustrated books.

As with any event that has long existed in the nebulous future, the books arrival to the present was a bit of a sigh. I had no expectations for the day of release but, as with every other major life event, it was just a day like any other. I'm predisposed to melancholy. I didn't expect a parade or to be a New York Times Bestseller - it's more the small and bittersweet realization; "oh - releasing a book feels normal once you do it". Everything that happens just becomes a normal fact of life. Of all the Charlie Brown's I'm the Charlie Browniest.

Despite the first days feeling a bit melancholy, the release has been a seasons long event. The first real event was a book release and signing at Gosh! Comics in London. My expectations were reserved but I was extremely grateful that the event was decently well attended! There's a thrill in seeing this long-private project catch a strangers eye. To top it all off, Gosh! included The Gulf on their best of the year list!

We are already going long so I won't regale you with my spring in detail but it was a whirlwind. I was grateful festivals and my publisher aided in getting me invited to VanCAF, TCAF, and MCAF. There were plenty of panels, book signings, and late-night drinks with cartoonist and publishing pals. It was surreal to be treated like a real author. :o)

Throughout all this time, it was echoing in my head that this is more than I ever dreamed I'd achieve with my comics. I did not choose to be a cartoonist because I believed I would be published, get attention, or that I could pay my rent doing so. I chose to draw because I hated the idea of spending my life not-drawing. I figured, at best I'd be illustrating children's books or teaching at an art school. There are so many people much more talented than I who got discouraged after releasing a zine or two and quit making comics. To be paid to do this feels like having cheat codes enabled. I feel like I've stuck around long enough that I'm now a "professional". I know I am a "good" cartoonist - I hate to risk coming across as sickeningly self effacing or humble - but I am certain that being "good" on its own does not guarantee anyone any sort of success. I'm left feeling very grateful for my bizarre little life.

Among the highlights from this busy period was an art show and book release event at my local comics haunt Lucky's Comics and Books. In Montreal, I was bafflingly included on a panel with both Jillian Tamaki and Tillie Walden. I've long admired both of their work so it was surreal to be seated between such heavy weights!   

It's been an interesting experience to feel the gulf in time between writing my book and it being published. For so long I just lived in The Gulf and then I submitted it. A year lapsed between my work the books release. By necessity, you just sort of have to move on. Yet, with the book release, you find yourself talking about and considering these characters from a new angle; you're thrust back into that world. With time, I've realized this story is so much more about me than I ever would have admitted at the outset of work on it. I never did anything within the story - it's fiction - yet everything these characters feel is mined from my own past and present experience of the world. It's such a naked reflection of my own feelings and interests that it's almost alarming. The story takes on a new clarity and I find myself even reflecting on who I am as a writer more carefully. I'm so proud of this book - it's raw, youthful, and energetic - and I hope what I do next feels distinct but as vital to myself as a cartoonist.

Blind Alley was, as it has been throughout my whole "professional" career, a constant companion. The strip often feels like the bedrock of my cartooning practice. I constantly have something to work on and it is a fantastic way to stave off overthinking - I just gotta get the strip done! The reception to the first year of the strip encouraged me to trust my artistic instincts. Continually working on it feels like constantly evaluating what I want to do as a cartoonist. It's extremely gratifying. However, this spring was the first time where I fell behind my own posting schedule and the strip became a bit of a problem for me. My partner had to point out that I am my own boss; I can change my own deadlines! For whatever reason, it really matters to me to never deviate from my schedule with Blind Alley but it just wasn't possible with all the travel I was doing. For the first time, I found myself drawing strips digitally in order to not fall too far behind. I'd be interested to know if folks can pick out which strips were done during this period.

It's been interesting seeing how the look of Blind Alley has evolved over the three years I've been working on it. The big heads and squat proportions of Brambles really bled into Blind Alley, but they actually look more their age now.

I spent two months of my year focussed on colouring the first 160 strips of Blind Alley for something very exciting. We'll talk more about that in a future post. I didn't exactly enjoy colouring the strip but I am happy with how it turned out. I'd much prefer to hire someone to do this work but I can't justify it. C'est la vie - work has to feel like work sometimes.

Blind Alley remains a well I am constantly eager to return to. It still holds a lot of untapped potential and I've been exploring what Blind Alley is and can be. It has been deeply satisfying and I can't wait to be a little less vague with you.

Aside from all the travelling, work has been pretty weird.

You may be thinking, "it sounds like you've been working a lot", and while you're not incorrect, there has been a lot of work-that-isn't-drawing-comics.  I've been spending most of my time writing for possibilities. I was asked to pitch for a project that would be incredibly exciting if it were to happen and then I'm writing another thing that probably won't happen but would be potentially life changing if it were to happen. I spent the better part of August working on a grant that I was rejected for. There are a lot of question marks hanging over my future and I am honestly craving both certainty as well as some focussed time on a larger project. Being a freelancer feels like winning and losing at the same.

I can't go into everything, but at one point this year I was approached by a person who has experience in animation production that was keen on pitching Blind Alley to some companies. It's possible I'll regret this but, after a lot of hemming and hawing, it just didn't feel like the right time to pursue. Aside from the fact that the animation industry is currently ablaze, I'm honestly only interested in making something with a high level of care - even if that thing I make is enigmatic, stupid, and unlikely to be made. My approach on gathering together the pitch for this wasn't realistic because I am not interested in that; I do not need to turn Blind Alley into an animated show. I'd prefer Blind Alley remain a comic strip than become a sanitized thing that lacks a beating heart. Logistically, the timing just didn't feel right and I don't feel that pitching Blind Alley  to companies puts me in the best position to negotiate for my own vision. If it is to happen, I'm holding out for someone who has a vision. In hindsight I could be wrong but Blind Alley feels like it's in its early-days. I'm constantly reminding myself that I started doing this professionally only four years ago; my career is still new! Blind Alley remains self-published and there's always potential to grow the audience. I am not in a rush. Maybe I should be but, for now, we're moving at my pace.

This fall has found me moving back to Vancouver. My move aligned with being invited to both the Vancouver and Whistler Writers festivals. It was a unique experience to be included amongst "real" writers. There was the distinct feeling of being a bit of curio, but I am grateful to have been included. Folks outside of comics are so wondrously intrigued by how comics are made. I needed to keep reminding myself that not everyone can draw or has read a comic before so of course their frame of reference when talking about them is different than at a comics festival. I am honestly tired of talking about how comics are made as opposed to the content of the story itself, but any inclusion is something worth being grateful for!

A few weeks ago, I was invited to do a talk at the Galiano Library. Galiano is the gulf island that The Gulf mostly references so it was intimidating to be invited to do a talk for the islanders. In the end, it was a beautiful experience to be openly received and have an engaging conversation about my story. A lot of folks in the audience had personal experiences living on communes or knew people who had, so it was gratifying to discover I was not so far off the mark with my portrayal of both commune and island life. These things are not monolithic but I tried to be specific enough to ring true to both the place and ideas I was writing about. Galiano remains one of my favourite places in the world; it just makes me feel creative.

These past few months have not been idle when it comes to drawing comics; I've been sort of feverishly pumping out pages. For what? That will have to wait until my next post. :o)

I'll be flying to LA early Thursday morning for CALA. I'm intimidated and tired but also very much looking forward to hanging with comics peers. I've never been to LA and holy shit is it a giant city. I'm crashing with a bunch of Silver Sprocket people so I know it will be a great time.

Anyways, here we are in December. I've been working on a ton of stuff that I'll talk about in the next post. There's a lot to talk about.

Thanks for hanging,

Adam