OC Spotlight October: Huangwu // sfw-ish

there once was a sailor, whose ship had sailed across half the globe, taking him from the harbours of his middle eastern home to the shores of china. he had a good heart, a friendly nature, a pure soul; he was full of life and laughter and adventure, eager to explore the world around him and with so much love to give.

one evening he saw a golden face shimmering in the water, curious eyes looking at him. they belonged to a merman, who soon slipped out of the depths to meet him; if there ever was such a thing as love at first sight, that's what the sailor experienced. 

the merman, renxia, might not have felt the same, at first; he was simply looking for some fun with a handsome human, and they spent the night together. but something about this mortal made renxia come back the day after; he found the sailor waiting at the very same spot, hoping that the merman might return, that he might get to see him again. like a loyal dog, night after night the human would be waiting for him, welcoming him with a warm smile and open arms. with time, renxia grew more attached to the sailor than he had ever been to a mortal before. he never planned to fall in love with him, but love works in mysterious ways.

one day, the human told the merman that his ship was leaving, that he would have to go. but he promised to be back.

a couple years went by. life went on, but none of them ever forgot the other. and then, one evening, renxia felt a sort of urge to return to their spot, a subtle tug from somewhere within his chest. when he went there, the human was there again, waiting for him just like before. and like before, the human eventually had to leave. like before, he promised to come back. the next time they saw one another, he had aged a little, as humans tend to do, going from a restless twenty-something to a more mature man closing in on thirty. the merman, of course, hadn't aged a day. 

the human always had to leave, but always kept his promise to return. sometimes he came back after a few months--sometimes, a few years. his heart longed for the merman as much as he longed for the sea, and he had a life at home that he could not abandon any more than the merman could abandon the non-mortal world whence he came. but the human and the mermaid loved one another. it was an uncommon sort of love, where they would spend years apart, each having their own lives and relations separate of one another. but it was love nonetheless. every time they met it felt like coming home.

and every time they met, the human had grown a little older. renxia mused at the grey hairs appearing at his temples, the wrinkles at his eyes from all the times he had smiled and laughed, the callouses and scars on his hands from years of hard labour. he reached his forties, and with the sea having been such a harsh mistress, his body was already tired and worn.

he sailed off again, and over a decade passed, until renxia thought he might never see him again. when finally he felt that calling in his heart, it was fainter and weaker than before. he went to their spot, and saw a figure leaned against the trunk of their tree. the man's hair and beard had turned all grey, his eyes were clouded over, and his breathing was so slow that at first the merman thought that he was not breathing at all. when renxia slipped out of the water, the human greeted him with the same warm smile as always. but he was too tired to stand up and meet him. renxia sat down beside him, cupping his weathered face in his hands, kissing his forehead.

"i wanted to see you one more time," the man said. renxia curled up in his lap and the human wound his arms around him like so many times before, leaning his cheek against the merman's golden head. renxia sat with his ear against the mortal's chest, and felt his heartbeats slowly fade into silence. the human's hands grew cold against his back, but his face was peaceful. the merman wept, cradling the silver head of the man who had loved him for a lifetime.

renxia had always known that his mortal would die--as mortals tend to do--but it wasn't until that moment that he realised how much it would hurt.

the merman buried the mortal on that very spot, and left a memorial stone in his memory. once the people who lived nearby saw the curious monument that had mysteriously appeared overnight, they built a shrine around it and the site became a place of worship. renxia returned, sometimes, thought it was bittersweet. the place held a lot of grief--but also love, and joy, and fond memories. 

one such night of remembrance, decades later, renxia came to realise he was not alone. most humans would visit in the day, and few non-humans besides him had a reason to go there. yet he saw a man at the shrine--a foreigner in his early twenties or so, simultenously looking a bit lost and like he was searching for something. when the man spotted renxia, he felt his heart skip a beat. the human had never been there before, nor had he ever seen renxia before--and yet... it was strange, the human said; all his life he had felt a restless pull, as if he wasn't were he was supposed to be, but without any idea about where he was supposed to go. but now, standing here, he felt at home. 

it was the second time renxia cried for the sake of his mortal, but this time it was out of relief and joy. the man looked different, and he had a different name--but it was him. the genuine glint in his eyes was the same, as was the warmth of his smile. renxia wrapped his arms around his neck, and even though he couldn't remember anything, the human knew that this felt ... right. when they kissed, when they laid down under their tree together--even with no memory of the life he had once lived--he fell in love with renxia anew.

some decades later, he died again. this time, renxia kept a watch on the shrine, daring to hope that perhaps his mortal would come back once more. and he did. once again, his face and name and voice was different, and yet he was the same. he couldn't remember, but he had dreams, vague and strange dreams about once having loved a man with brilliant curls and a goldfish's tail, about a place that looked so much like this shrine he finally had found his way to. once he spotted renxia, there even seemed to be a hint of recollection in his eye. renxia fell into his arms, and the human fell in love with renxia anew.

he always did. time and time again, the mortal died. sometimes, he slipped into death while renxia held him in his arms; sometimes it happened elsewhere, with renxia only knowing because there suddenly seemed to be a hollow in his chest. it hurt, every time, but he waited, patiently, until once more he would find his mortal wandering about the shrine, barely knowing why he was there but somehow knowing he needed to be there. sometimes, he seemed to be able to remember a little more. the strange dreams started to seem more like strange memories, like echoes of the past. he somehow remembered a name that he had never heard before, and a beautiful face he had never seen before. other times, he couldn't remember anything at all. but every single time, he fell in love with renxia anew. no matter what he could or couldn't recall, no matter how long it took him to find his way back, no matter his name or appearance or occupation--he always loved him, so utterly and completely and without hesitation. 

the man could never stay for good. like before, the human eventually had to leave. like before, he promised to come back. and he always did. sometimes he came back after a few months--sometimes, a few years. but every time he died, it seemed like his new life brought him closer and closer to renxia, little by little. his lives seemed to travel the silk road, his soul longing to bridge the distance.

centuries passed in this way. the human died, again and again, and was reborn, again and again, and found his way back to renxia, again and again. his death never hurt any less, but their love grew stronger and stronger. at last, the man was reborn within the borders of china, and travelled by foot to the shrine, though he knew not why. this time, his devotion caught the attention of none other than huangdi--the yellow dragon. 

she* watched the mortal and the merman, and their love that had spanned across centuries, across dozens of human lifetimes. she was moved--and in secret, she made a decision.

the mortal died again, like so many times before, and renxia patiently waited for his return, like so many times before. but this time, he didn't come back. one generation passed, two generations, three--without a sign of the mortal. renxia felt hollow, and grieved having taken his lover's return for granted. 

he stopped going to the shrine. it hurt too much to find it empty, again and again. life went on, but it was not the same--renxia himself was not the same. 

the realm of tu shen, however, was as beautiful as ever; renxia had lived there for centuries, as part of the rabbit god's court. other gods and spirits would often come by, but everyone felt that it was something out of the ordinary when it was announced that huangdi herself planned to visit. a great banquet was arranged, and they all watched her enter together with all her long children. the first nine renxia had seen before, but now there was a tenth one, a son. nobody quite knew who he was; huangdi introduced him as huangwu, but renxia didn't look twice. he had other things on his mind. 

then, there was a voice behind his back. "you seem so familiar," huangwu said to him, "as if we've met before." 

renxia turned to face the new dragon prince, and felt is heart skip a beat. huangwu was tall, handsome, with golden scales, a genuine glint in his eye, a warm smile. he seemed to be in his twenties, full of life and laughter and adventure. 

after a few moments of stunned silence, renxia uttered a name he hadn't said in centuries: the first of all the names. huangwu looked confused, at first, but then a glimpse of remembrance seemed to dawn on his face--and that was all that renxia needed to throw his arms around his neck and kiss him. 

with that kiss, a flood of memories washed over huangwu. lifetime after lifetime of having loved came back to him, from the first to the last. he remembered all his names, all the places he had travelled from to find where that tug on his soul would lead him, all the times he had seen renxia's face for the first time, all the times he had fallen in love with him, utterly and completely and without hesitation. 

now he once more had a new name, a new body, a new home... but his love was exactly the same. and now he, too, was immortal, a long, a son of the yellow empress. he fell in love with the merman anew--and for the last time. huangwu would never again have to die and part with his renxia.

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fun fact: made myself cry writing this. the part about the human dying in renxia's arms and renxia having to deal with the mortality of humans for the first time--gets me every time. as always, comment below if you have any further questions about this character <3

// art + huangwu © me; renxia © kubi.

(* the yellow dragon/the yellow emperor is traditionally male--but we have chosen to make her an empress instead.)