Princess Maria (original)

Based on this prompt (X):  Mumbling, the King looked away from his knight and muttered, “I need you to save the dragon… from my princess.”

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I'm posting this for context for my short story "Princess Maria is a Scholar" which is posted directly after this one :) I couldn't find this original one on Patreon, only on Tumblr (this was written in 2016). Enjoy!

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"I need you to save the dragon...from my princess."

Sir Rian looked at the King blankly. “Is this a jest, your majesty?”

“I do not jest,” King Harold says, looming in his throne. He, all at once, deflates, burying his face in his hands. “Word has begun to spread of Maria’s…peculiar pastime. I was supposed to have a meeting with King John next week, discussing the possibility of his son marrying my daughter.” The King points to one of the scrolls littering the ground. “I just received that cancellation this morning.”

Sir Rian looks at the floor and winces. He recognizes the royal crests from a half dozen neighboring countries and surmises that this isn’t the first cancellation.

“Oh dear,” Sir Rian says before he can stop himself. “Your majesty, the line of succession–”

“–will see Lord Calloway on the throne,” King Harold says, face still buries in his hands. He raises his head just enough so that Sir Rian can see the unhealthy bags under his eyes. “Unless my daughter, my dragon-enslaving daughter, can be brought around.”

If Lord Calloway sits on the throne, Sir Rian thinks, the people will set it on fire. Having just come back from patrolling the southern reaches of the kingdom, fending off pirates, that’s not a scenario he’s fond of. “Surely there’s some diversion you can offer her, your majesty? I hear the princess is rather fond of swordplay. A new tutor–”

“Good god, man,” King Harold says, “does no news reach our borders? Maria has already mastered swordplay. Then archery, then hand to hand, then some infernal thing called an ahlspiess. I didn’t even know what an ahlspiess was and my daughter used it to win last year’s knight’s tournament!”

“It’s a type of spear–”

“I know that now!” The King takes several deep, calming breaths.

Sir Rian shifts awkwardly. “Sire?”

“I,” the King says, staring at his hands, “am at my wit’s end.”

Sir Rian sighs internally. There go his peaceful days of retirement. “I’ll humbly accept this quest, you maj–”

Something huge impacts the side of the castle, causing Sir Rian to draw his sword, leaping in front of his Majesty. Could it have been a cannon? He hadn’t heard anything about invading forces. His eye is drawn to the window and he blinks in shock. It had been midday earlier, bright with hardly a cloud in the sky, and now it appeared to be night.

“What sorcery is this?” Sir Rian asks, sword held defensively in front of him. “Your majesty, stay back!”

“Ugh, sorcery,” a female voice says from behind the night. “Tried to learn it last year. Didn’t take, it’s the worst.”

“Maria,” King Harold groans as if struck. “How many times have I told you not to land that thing here!”

The night moves, drawing back from the window. With horror, Sir Rian registers scales, a row of horns, and eyes.

“Dragon,” Sir Rian gasps.

“Knight,” the female voice says again. “Back up, I’m coming in!”

There’s a series of sharp whistles, accompanied by the sound of crumbling stone, and the dragon shifts forward. Sitting astride it’s neck is Princess Maria, garbed in leather hunting gear, a bow on her back, and a sword on her hip.

That’s the princess? Sir Rian hasn’t heard anything about this. She looked better fit for the woods than a castle.

Princess Maria leaps from the dragon to the window, tucking and rolling through it and into the middle of the room where she jackknifes to her feet and holds her arms up. “And the crowd goes wild!”

Sir Rian, being the sort to get easily swept up, sheathes his sword and claps politely.

“Maria,” the King says, rising from his throne. His voice is trembling and he clenches his fist. “This must end! Look at these!” He sweeps his arms towards the scrolls. “Rejections! Rebuffs! Simpering condolences! All because you refuse to act like the princess you are. I’ve had it, young lady, I’ve had it! This ends today!”

“Of course, father,” Maria says solemnly, “I couldn’t agree more.”

“No, I will not hear any more of this– you agreed?” The King blinks, stopped halfway through his tirade. His eyes narrow in suspicion. “You agree.”

Maria nods, sincerity written all over her face. “Father, I more than anyone don’t want that boorish Lord to be given the throne in the event of your death. I know that I must marry so that my husband can rule in your stead.”  Her eyes glint. “So I’ve taken care of it.”

Sir Rian feels chills race down his spine.

The King is made of sterner stuff. With dread in his voice, he asks, “Maria, what did you do?”

“It’s all for the good of the kingdom,” Maria says, putting her hands on her hips, looking at her father as if she can’t believe he’d think otherwise.

The King sinks back onto his throne. “Oh god.”

Maria whistles, the piercing notes seeming to penetrate the stone walls.  Outside, the dragon claws its way up the castle until its body begins to taper into a tail. Sir Rian’s brow furrows when he sees that there’s a large sack of some sort tied to the dragon’s tail.

With a flick, the dragon tosses the sack into the throne room before disappearing. Sir Rian can hear it scrabbling at the roof above them, but he hardly pays it any mind, eyes fixed on the new addition to the throne room.

The sack is moving.

“Father,” Maria says, striding over to the sack. She makes quick work of the knots. “I’d like you to meet Prince Mark of Avlanos, the island nation to our south.” She grins, teeth glinting wickedly. “My future husband.”

The sack falls away to reveal a very confused looking young man. He blinks at them all, cheeks red from his rough treatment, dark brown hair wild from the journey.

Sir Rian recognizes the man immediately and doesn’t know why he’s surprised that the fisherman was actually the crown prince of Avlanos all along.

“Sir Rian,” Prince Mark says with surprise and pleasure. “Fancy seeing you here!”

“Oh no,” Sir Rian says. He looks between Prince Mark and Princess Maria. “Oh no.”

“Maria!” the King thunders, bolting up from his throne. “I’m so sorry, Prince Mark, I assure you I do not condone my daughter’s actions. Maria, you can’t kidnap a prince.”

“I don’t think the prince minds,” Sir Rian mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.

No one pays him any mind.

Maria sets her jaw mulishly. “Why not? These assholes kidnap princesses all the time! Besides, he started it!”

“How,” King Harold implores, “could he have possibly started it?”

“Well,” Prince Mark says after a beat, “I tried to kidnap her first.”

“Of course you did,” Sir Rian says. He turns to the king. “Sire, this might actually work.”

“He just admitted to trying to kidnap my daughter!” King Harold says incredulously.

“Tried being the operative word,” Prince Mark says. He smiles winningly at the King.

“He wasn’t counting on the dragon,” Maria says smugly.

Prince Mark laughs. “I wasn’t!” He looks at Princess Maria with stars in his eyes. “Or the ahlspiess. You handled that ahlspiess beautifully.”

Princess Maria looks flattered. “Oh, well, I can teach you, if you like? As a wedding gift!”

“I would like nothing more, my lady,” Prince Mark says. He wiggles in the sack. “Would you care to untie me so I can propose properly?”

The King staggers backwards until he falls onto his throne. There, he puts his head in his hands. “Oh gods.”